CHANGE IS GOOD.....WHEN YOU STAY CALM.

Positive Words From The Positive Dictionary - The Word 'Calmness'

By Phil Minnaar PhD

To be calm in life is a real challenge. Our days are filled with stresses and strains, with haste and deadlines, with heavy traffic on the way to work and with too many things to do.
We may start the day positively with enthusiasm and eagerness to accomplish something specific that day. The day, however, may turn out totally different. Arriving at the office there may be an urgent matter waiting that needs immediate attention. The phone may be ringing incessantly during the day. Staff and unexpected visitors may be coming continuously to the office. The computer may be slow or down. That evening we feel totally exhausted, with a feeling of nothing accomplished.
A certain amount of stress is healthy and actually necessary for our wellbeing. On a day like this, however, the positive stress has changed into negative distress and the destruction of calmness. We become nervous and experience anxiety. We begin to imagine dire consequences if we do not accomplish what needs to be done. We become tense and impatient. When calmness disappears we become distracted, frustrated and ineffective. This causes a vicious circle of even more distress.
When we are calm we do not feel hurried and are more focused. Every task and every matter receives our full attention. We see more detail and we listen more carefully. We think more clearly and contemplate the implications of our decisions. We tackle every situation with circumspection. Interruptions become challenges and opportunities to serve. Our demeanor becomes more courteous and friendly. Time becomes unimportant and seems to expand. We become more positive and more effective. After a day of calmness we feel fulfilled and experience a sense of happiness.
What can we do to be calm or to remain calm in strenuous situations? We can:
infuse a feeling of calmness in our being;
expect the unexpected;
handle every task as if it is the only thing to do for the rest of the day;
avoid trying to be perfect and just do our best;
think about the bigger purpose of what we are doing;
see our work as a service;
breath deeper;
let our shoulders down;
relax our jaws;
smile often and
be grateful for the opportunity to be able to work.

To be calm is indeed a sign of strength.

Phil Minnaar PhD is a management consultant specializing in management information, business intelligence systems and systems thinking. He has a multi-disciplinary PhD in Computer Science and Information systems, applied to Educational Management.
He has a particular interest in the power of positive thinking and recently published his book, The Positive Dictionary. He went through various dictionaries and selected only words with positive meanings or connotations. For each word he wrote a concise explanation in the form of an action or activity which can be practiced to use that word to become more positive in life. Each word is also explained in the form of a deeper thought or a slogan or a motto, which can be followed in life.
The Positive Dictionary is a practical resource for a positive attitude and success in the workplace.
More information about The Positive Dictionary is available on http://www.thepositivedictionary.com
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CHANGE IS GOOD.......MAKE IT PERSONNAL.

Coping with Change: Develop Your Personal Strategy.

By Steve Singleton

Why do we resist change?As the saying goes, the only people who like change are busy cashiers and wet babies. We find change disorienting, creating within us an anxiety similar to culture shock, the unease visitors to an alien land feel because of the absence of the familiar cues they took for granted back home. With an established routine, we don't have to think! And thinking is hard work.
Change is a business fact of lifeIs your company is currently undergoing major changes that will affect the lives of all of its employees? These changes are probably in response to the evolving needs of your customers. They are made possible because of improvements in telecommunications and digital technology. They are likely guided by accepted principles and practices of total quality management. And you can expect that they will result in significant improvements profitability--a success that all employees will share. Because our customers' needs are NOW, we must make changes swiftly, which means that all of us must cooperate with the changes, rather than resist them.
How do we resist change?We tend to respond to change the same way we respond to anything we perceive as a threat: by flight or fight. Our first reaction is flight--we try to avoid change if we can. We do what futurist Faith Popcorn calls "cocooning": we seal ourselves off from those around us and try to ignore what is happening. This can happen in the workplace just by being passive. We don't volunteer for teams or committees; we don't make suggestions, ask questions, or offer constructive criticism. But the changes ahead are inescapable. Those who "cocoon" themselves will be left behind.
Even worse is to fight, to actively resist change. Resistance tactics might include negativity, destructive criticism, and even sabotage. If this seldom happens at your company, you are fortunate.
Take a different approach to changeRejecting both alternatives of flight or flight, we seek a better option--one that neither avoids change nor resists it, but harnesses and guides it.
Change can be the means to your goals, not a barrier to them. Both fight and flight are reactions to perceiving change as a threat. But if we can change our perceptions, we can avoid those reactions. An old proverb goes, "Every change brings an opportunity." In other words, we must learn to see change as a means of achieving our goals, not a barrier preventing us from reaching them.
Another way of expressing the same thought is: A change in my external circumstances provides me with an opportunity to grow as a human being. The greater the change is, the greater and faster I can grow. If we can perceive change along these lines, we will find it exciting and energizing, rather than depressing and debilitating.
Yet this restructuring of our perspective on change can take some time. In fact, coping with change follows the same steps as the grieving process.1 The steps are shock and denial that the old routine must be left behind, then anger that change is inevitable, then despair and a longing for the old ways, eventually replaced by acceptance of the new and a brighter view of the future. Everyone works through this process; for some, the transition is lightning fast, for others painfully slow.
Realize your capacity to adapt.As one writer put it recently:
Our foreparents lived through sea changes, upheavals so cataclysmic, so devastating we may never appreciate the fortitude and resilience required to survive them. The next time you feel resistant, think about them and about what they faced--and about what they fashioned from a fraction of the options we have. They blended old and new worlds, creating family, language, cuisine and new life-affirming rhythms, and they encouraged their children to keep on stepping toward an unknown but malleable future.2
Human beings are created remarkably flexible, capable of adapting to a wide variety of environments and situations. Realizing this can help you to embrace and guide change rather than resisting or avoiding it.
Develop a coping strategy based on who you are.Corporate employees typically follow one of four decision-making styles: analytical, directive, conceptual, and behavioral. These four styles, described in a book by Alan J. Rowe and Richard O. Mason,3 have the following characteristics:
Analytical Style – technical, logical, careful, methodical, needs much data, likes order, enjoys problem-solving, enjoys structure, enjoys scientific study, and enjoys working alone.
Conceptual Style – creative and artistic, future oriented, likes to brainstorm, wants independence, uses judgment, optimistic, uses ideas vs. data, looks at the big picture, rebellious and opinionated, and committed to principles or a vision.
Behavioral Style – supportive of others, empathetic, wants affiliation, nurtures others, communicates easily, uses instinct, avoids stress, avoids conflict, relies on feelings instead of data, and enjoys team/group efforts.
Directive Style – aggressive, acts rapidly, takes charge, persuasive and/or is manipulative, uses rules, needs power/status, impatient, productive, single-minded, and enjoys individual achievements.
Read once more through these descriptions and identify which style best describes you. Then find and study the strategy people who share your style follow to cope with change:
Analytical coping strategy – You see change as a challenging puzzle to be solved. You need plenty of time to gather information, analyze data, and draw conclusions. You will resist change if you are not given enough time to think it through.
Conceptual coping strategy – You are interested in how change fits into the big picture. You want to be involved in defining what needs to change and why. You will resist change if you feel excluded from participating in the change process.
Behavioral coping strategy – You want to know how everyone feels about the changes ahead. You work best when you know that the whole group is supportive of each other and that everyone champions the change process. If the change adversely affects someone in the group, you will perceive change as a crisis.
Directive coping strategy – You want specifics on how the change will affect you and what your own role will be during the change process. If you know the rules of the change process and the desired outcome, you will act rapidly and aggressively to achieve change goals. You resist change if the rules or anticipated results are not clearly defined.
Realizing what our normal decision-making style is, can enable us to develop personal change-coping tactics.
How can we cope with change?1. Get the big picture. – Sometimes, not only do we miss the forest because of the trees, but we don't even see the tree because we're focused on the wood. Attaining a larger perspective can help all of us to cope with change, not just the conceptualists. The changes underway at my company are clearly following at least four important trends, which I believe are probably reflective of businesses in general:
Away from localized work toward network-based work,
Away from a feast-or-famine working environment toward a routinely busy working environment,
Away from site-limited approaches toward approaches that are consistent company-wide, and
Away from vertical, top-down management toward a more horizontal management structure, with shared accountability.
Getting at least this much comprehension of the big picture will help us to understand where each of us fits.
2. Do some anchoring. – When everything around you is in a state of flux, it sure helps to find something stable that isn't going to change, no matter what. Your company's values (whether articulated or not) can provide that kind of stability for you. Ours include the Company Family, Focus on the Customer, Be Committed to Quality, and Maintain Mutual Respect. These values are rock-solid; they are not going to disappear or rearrange themselves into something else. Plus, each of us has personal values that perhaps are even more significant and permanent. Such immovables can serve as anchors to help us ride out the storm.
3. Keep your expectations realistic. – A big part of taking control of the change you experience is to set your expectations. You can still maintain an optimistic outlook, but aim for what is realistically attainable. That way, the negatives that come along won't be so overwhelming, and the positives will be an adrenaline rush. Here are some examples:
There will be some bumps along the road. We shouldn't expect all of the changes ahead to be painless, demanding only minimal sacrifice, cost, or effort. In fact, we should expect some dead ends, some breakdowns in communications, and some misunderstandings, despite our best efforts to avoid them. We may not be able to anticipate all of the problems ahead, but we can map out in general terms how we will deal with them.
Not everyone will change at the same rate. The learning rates of any employees will distribute themselves along a bell curve. A few will adapt rapidly, most will take more time, and a few will adjust gradually. Also, many younger employees may find change, especially technological innovations, easier than those older. The reason may be, as one observer explains, "Older people's hard disks are fuller."4 On the other hand, you may find some younger ones surprisingly reluctant to take on a new challenge.
The results of change may come more slowly than we would want. As participants in an "instant society," conditioned by the media to expect complex problems to reach resolution in a 60-minute time frame, we may find the positive results of change slow to arrive from the distant horizon. If we are aware of this, we won't be so disappointed if tomorrow's results seem so similar to today's. 4. Develop your own, personal change tactics. Get plenty of exercise, plenty of rest, and watch your diet. Even if you take all the right steps and follow the best advice, undergoing change creates stress in your life, and stress takes energy. Aware of this, you can compensate by taking special care of your body.
Invest time and energy in training. Sharpen your skills so that you can meet the challenges ahead with confidence. If the training you need is not available through Bowne, get it somewhere else, such as the community college or adult education program in your area.
Get help when you need it. If you are confused or overwhelmed with the changes swirling around you, ask for help. Your supervisor, manager, or coworkers may be able to assist you in adjusting to the changes taking place. Your human resources department and any company-provided counseling services are other resources available to you.
Make sure the change does not compromise either your company values or your personal ones. If you are not careful, the technological advances jostling each other for your attention and adoption will tend to isolate you from personal contact with your coworkers and customers. E-mail, teleconference, voice-mail, and Intranet can make us more in touch with each other, or they can keep us antiseptically detached, removed from an awareness that the digital signals we are sending reach and influence another flesh-and-blood human being.
Aware of this tendency, we must actively counteract the drift in this direction by taking an interest in people and opening up ourselves to them in return. We have to remember to invest in people--all of those around us--not just in technology.
The "new normalcy"Ultimately, we may discover that the current state of flux is permanent. After the events of September 11, Vice President Richard Cheney said we should accept the many resultant changes in daily life as permanent rather than temporary. "Think of them," he recommended, "as the 'new normalcy.'"
You should take the same approach to the changes happening at your workplace. These are not temporary adjustments until things get "back to normal." They are probably the "new normalcy" of your life as a company. The sooner you can accept that these changes are permanent, the better you can cope with them all--and enjoy their positive results.


Notes
1. Nancy J. Barger and Linda K. Kirby, The Challenge of Change in Organizations: Helping Employees Thrive in the New Frontier (Palo Alto, CA: Davies-Black Publ., 1995). This source is summarized in Mary M. Witherspoon, "Coping with Change," Women in Business 52, 3 (May/June 2000): 22-25.
2. Susan Taylor, "Embracing Change," Essence (Feb. 2002): 5.
3. Alan J. Rowe and Richard O. Mason, Managing with Style: A Guide to Understanding, Assessing and Improving Decision-Making (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Management Series, 1987) cited in Witherspoon, "Coping with Change."
4. Emily Friedman, "Creature Comforts," Health Forum Journal 42, 3 (May/June 1999): 8-11. Futurist John Naisbitt has addressed this tendency in his book, High tech/high touch: Technology and our search for meaning (New York: Random House, 1999). Naisbitt co-wrote this book with his daughter Nana Naisbitt and Douglas Philips.
* * *
Copyright ©2006 Steve Singleton
Steve Singleton has written and edited several books and numerous articles. He has been an editor, reporter, and public relations consultant. He has taught college-level Greek, Bible, and religious studies courses and has taught seminars in 11 states and the Caribbean.
Go to his DeeperStudy.com for Bible study resources, no matter what your level of expertise. Explore "The Shallows," plumb "The Depths," or use the well-organized "Study Links" for original sources in English translation. Check out the DeeperStudy Bookstore for great e-books, free books, and great discounts. Subscribe to his free "DeeperStudy Newsletter" or "DeeperStudy Blog."
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CHANGE IS GOOD.......DON'T MESS WITH YOURSELF

Are You Yanking The Rug Of Success Out From Under You?

By Sharon A. Michaels

Let's begin at the beginning -- recognizing and understanding self-sabotage.
Definition: Self-sabotaging behaviors are any destructive behaviors that keep you from living up to your true potential and robs you of true success.
Think of a sabotaging behavior as anything you emotionally, spiritually or physically do that can keep you from achieving the success you want, when you want it.
Examples: The goals that were never achieved, the vacation you never found time to take, the exercise equipment gathering dust or the credit cards always charged to the limit.
Sabotage is a negative way to keep you within your success comfort zone. Self-sabotage is like continuously taking three steps forward and two steps back. I call it the "sabotage shuffle." Can you picture it? It's a dance step, three steps up, and two steps back. Again, three steps up, two steps back. There are positive feelings going forward and disappointment and uncertainty as you step back.
Why can self-sabotage be so destructive? Self-sabotage has the power to take away your sense of accomplishment, self-satisfaction and even self-esteem.
THE GOOD NEWS . . . You can choose to end self-sabotaging behaviors and live up to your true potential. You have the power to achieve success, self-satisfaction and happiness.
Successful change begins one small step at a time. Each step builds on the one before until we're able to overcome challenges in positive, productive ways. There are no quick fixes. There are no magical pills or overnight cures. Empowering ourselves to recognize, understand and conquer self-sabotage takes time, effort and emotional commitment.
Here is an activity that's a great place to begin: Focus your energy on one positive thought a day for the next seven days.
Believing you are strong, powerful and successful.
Attracting positive experiences into your life.
Living the words, "I can" and "unstoppable."
Realizing that happiness is a choice.
Appreciating the growth opportunities in life.
Learning from the challenges and going positively forward.
Setting realistic, yet growth inspiring expectations.
Become more conscious of your thoughts and how they affect everyday outcomes. Concentrate on one empowering thought a day and observe how your focus is attracted to that subject or item.
Successful change begins one small step at a time:
Are you willing to consistently choose the positive solutions that achieve positive results?
Do you truly believe you are worthy and deserving of a life with more steps forward than backward?
Are you willing to end self-sabotage?
Remember that positive expectations take you three steps forward, negative ones are the two steps back. Don't you think it's time to hang up those shuffling shoes?


Sharon A. Michaels is an e-mentor to women who want to work for themselves. Sharon has over 20 years of business, speaking and writing experience on issues of ending self-sabotage, living in abundance and wealth and making money in network marketing. Sharon offers books, webinars and tele-conferences on how to give yourself the power to succeed.
You can learn more about Sharon Michaels at http://SharonIsMyMentor.com
Sharon A. Michaels is also the Editor of the Abundance and Wealth site on BellaOnline.com To read more of Sharon's articles and sign up for her weekly newsletter go to http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com
Copyright Sharon A. Michaels - When using this article please give full credit to Sharon Michaels and use the bio as written above.
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CHANGE IS GOOD......APPRECIATE IT.

Appreciate Everything - Change

By Gayle Evans

Change. It's a charged word for some people. They may even have a physical reaction as their body acknowledges the thoughts in their heads. Resistance to change can feel like a wave of energy shooting upward from feet to head. It's purpose is to guard and protect. For the more adventurous, the thoughts are less of uncertainty than anticipation.
Change does bring us out of our comfort zone because with change comes the need to grow and adapt.
Sudden abrupt changes are the most alarming or exhilarating. We lose our familiar touchstones and must create new ones. In the meantime, we live in uncertainty. We've had no time to prepare and may need to rely on our instincts. These times can be an emotional roller coaster and some will struggle to remain stable. The experience can be frightening. Examples include unexpected loss of a loved one, employment, or health. Stressful in a different way are new love and a significant leap in income. Both require tremendous adjustments done quickly without the benefit of time to process emotions.
Ongoing changes can bring on a sense of weariness and fatigue or building anticipation. Perhaps what guides the overall tone of the change is dependent on three factors. The first is lack of say in the matter. When one is told and not allowed to offer suggestions or to be heard, feelings of helplessness or resentment may occur. The second factor is having a sense of control in guiding the change and making a contribution. The third is attitude. Willingness to stay focused on what is and consequently on what needs to be done in the present time in preparation for the future.
Appreciating change allows us the opportunity to use our energy productively. We have a sense of rising to the challenge and increasing our confidence in our ability to deal with whatever life tosses our way. We reach within to pull up our best. Resisting change is constrictive and deadens energy. It will not allow feelings of joy or aliveness.
We have little choice. Change will happen. Life is about change.
We also have tremendous choice. What we think and how we shape our attitude determines how effectively we respond to the inevitable changes. We can resist or we can appreciate everything, including change.

Gayle Evans is a nurse educator who has come to appreciate the richness and diversity of life experiences. She intends to live a very long life so she has time to do all the things she wants to do. To read more about her independent and often humorous views on life, please click on this link: http://www.chickennomore.com
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CHANGE IS GOOD........COPING

Changing Places? Coping With Current Business Uncertainty.

By Ann Clarke

If there's one thing businesses don't like, it's uncertainty. Even those that are undergoing profound changes themselves like to do their growing and changing in a relatively predictable environment. Their planning depends on it.
Which is why the current uncertainty over whether we are entering a recession or not is inherently a bad thing, regardless of the real basis for any fears of a downturn. Some have even argued that the economists and writers who habitually raise the spectre of economic cycles may actually be causing them. A perfect self-fulfilling prophecy.
Whatever its causes, the current level of uncertainty means that firms are understandably cautious, if not exactly jittery. The important thing is to never let this caution turn into paralysis. The potentially fatal consequences of treading water should always outweigh anxieties about what is yet to pass. Business decisions about growth, new product development and change should never be obstructed by fear of an uncertain future.
As a business we are used to managing change with clients. As a result, one of the things we know for certain is that when it comes to growing or changing their businesses, there is a tendency for organisations to see a move to purpose-built new offices as being a better option than improving their current workplace or refurbishing other existing space. All too often this is because they assume that they can't deal with change in an old building, be it a need to implement new technology or accommodate business growth. But they are often asking the wrong question. Instead of 'where do we go from here?' they should really ask 'should we stay or should we go?'
In most cases, both the stay option or go option can be backed up by a strong business case. This is invariably based on a wide range of factors - from the economic to the personal - each of which may have a considerable impact on the organisation. Only after careful consideration of these factors does it then become possible to make the right decision.
We need to challenge the notion that modern buildings must be better able than older buildings to meet the needs of a modern organisation. Often they are, but in many cases, older buildings can prove to be a better option.
For example, buildings that predate the widespread use of electric lighting and airconditioning may have better lighting and ventilation. They may also be more flexible in use. Modern buildings often have large floorplates, embedded services and low floor to ceiling heights which can limit their use. Older buildings are unlikely to have the same limitations so may actually be better suited to the needs of contemporary organisations.
In his book How Buildings Learn, author Stewart Brand outlines the process whereby buildings evolve over time to meet the changing needs of their occupants. He shows that intelligent renovation is just as effective and important as new design. Brand looks at the building as consisting of six layers, each of which functions on a different timescale. These range from the site itself which has a life cycle measured in centuries, through to the building (decades), interior fit out (years), technology (months), to stuff (days). An effective refurbishment or fit-out will depend on how well it resolves the tensions that exist between these different elements.
With careful planning, a focus on the organisation's strategic objectives and a multi-disciplinary approach even century-old buildings can become outstanding contemporary workplaces that can meet current needs and be flexible enough to respond to future demands. More importantly, they can even offer advantages over purpose-built new buildings in terms of cost, culture, adaptability and company image. Regardless of any ephemeral shifts in the economy, be they good or bad, firms must always build flexibility into their operations and their buildings to help them to develop on their own terms.


Ann Clarke is Design Director of Claremont Group Interiors, the UK office design company.
Claremont Group Interiors website
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CHANGE IS GOOD......LET'S TALK.

7 Tips for Improving Communication in a Period of Change.

By Duncan Brodie

Change is a major challenge for most organisations. Research suggests that 70% of change projects are not sustained. In a period of change, communication is key. If we are honest, most of us are uncomfortable with uncertainty. In times of change, people become frightened, resistant, go into denial and may even be angry. There is no magic formula for getting rid of these feelings, but open communication can go a long way to reducing the impact. So what are 7 things you can do to improve communication in a period of change?
1. Communicate the case for change
Individuals need to fully understand:
• Why change is needed
• What the benefits are for them
• What the benefits are for the organisation
• How it might impact on them personally
People will have without doubt given a lot of commitment to the organisation, so make sure that you make the time to get across the case for change.
2. Communicate regularly
Once the case for change is communicated and it clear that is going to happen, make regular communication a priority. This can be something as simple as a weekly e-mail or even audio e-mail which:
• Outlines what has happened so far
• Sets out what will be happening next
• Acknowledges challenges or problems that have been encountered and what is being done about them
3. Provide opportunities to ask questions
Traditionally this might have been through open meetings or focus groups and these are still appropriate. Using technology to allow people to submit questions to a central point is another excellent way of addressing concerns and getting insights into what is worrying people. These questions can even provide the focus of the weekly communications, as it is likely that common themes will arise.
4. Provide opportunities to submit ideas
There is a wealth of talent in the organisation who have numerous ideas that can help make change projects a success. Make it easy for people to submit those ideas online or in traditional forms such as suggestion boxes.
5. Feedback on questions and ideas
It is clearly not possible to feedback on every question or idea submitted, but it is easy to group them and feedback on themes.
6. Be honest
People may not like bad news but will appreciate it more than someone being less than 100% honest with them. Make a decision at the outset to be honest in your communications.
7. Train your managers
If people have concerns, their manager will usually be the first person they will speak to. Make sure that you have provided some basic training to managers on how best to handle these communications.
Change is a major challenge and should not be underestimated. Good communication can however go a long way towards making change as smooth as possible.


Duncan Brodie of Goals and Achievements (G&A) works with professionals and progressive public and private sector organisations who want to develop their management and leadership capability in order to achieve more success. With 25 years business experience in a range of sectors, he understands first hand the real challenges of managing and leading in the demanding business world. You can learn more about Duncan, Goals and Achievements services and products and sign up for his free e-course and monthly newsletter at
http://www.goalsandachievements.co.uk/
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CHANGE IS GOOD.....SOME GOOD ADVICE SURE HELPS.

Business Changes Made Easy

By Louise Abbott

Change in any area of life is difficult, but for the overworked owner of a business that provides a professional service, change can, at times, seem near impossible. Usually we do not make the change until we are forced to or everything breaks down and it happens anyway. Here are some tips on how to make positive changes in your business without the stress and agony.
We want change because something is not working any longer.
We see something better for ourselves, we lose interest in the old way or we are forced to face the reality of how things are not working. The old way does not fit who we are any longer and we are motivated to contemplate change.
Get passionate about the change.
If you are making a change for anyone but yourself, you will be in trouble. Be sure you really want to make the change. Too often we begin a program because we think we ought to or someone else thinks we should. There is no passion in this. You will lose interest, get distracted and run out of energy.
Visualize the outcome in detail.
The clearer your vision of what you want, the more likely you are to line up actions to make that become a reality. Take time to write it out, draw it, talk about it to someone who wants to see you succeed.
Baby Steps
By breaking the change process into manageable steps, we can have success along the way. Nothing can stop positive change more quickly than trying to do too much at one time and then getting overwhelmed.
Track your Progress
Tracking your progress can give you valuable feedback on what is working and what is not working. Some people think that this is too much trouble or takes too much time. Fact: The people who track, do better and reach their goals faster. Tracking means you are serious and not afraid of putting a light on genuine results.
Ask for Help
Why do you need to make this change alone? Enlist the support of a mentor or like minded individuals to form a mastermind group to support and offer advice and encouragement. Why do think Weight Watchers and AA have been around for so long? Both rely on the power of a group to make positive, lasting changes. When you gather your group, or hire a mentor or coach be very specific about the kind of help you want and the kind of help you do not want.
Celebrate Small Successes
As you have success (and you will if you follow this advice,) celebrate! So often we deny ourselves the pleasure of celebrating a milestone on the way to our final goal. Give yourself a break, pat yourself on the back for consistent movement toward your positive change.

Louise Abbott is a business coach and owner of Creative Resources Coaching. She teaches self employed professionals to grow their business using long and short range planning and proven marketing practices. She is the current president of the Tucson Coaches Alliance and past president of a Tucson chapter of Business Network International.
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CHANGE IS GOOD.....BUT YOU MUST MAKE THE MOVE

The Power Of Action

By Charlotte Hunter

Have you read all the books in the world about achieving success in life and till now you are getting zero results?
How and when will you see significant changes in your life?
Are you brave enough to keep going and never quitting?
If yes then, let me share with you the important factor that is tightly connected to success. No body can ever succeed without this factor.
Here it is:
"Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." - Conrad Hilton
It is all about taking action!
Have you applied what you've read? Have you taken bold actions? Are you persistent enough?
The common characteristics of highly successful people are that they never quit and they always keep moving.
They are not afraid of making mistakes. They believe that mistakes are their vehicle to massive success. Therefore, they simply learn the lessons and keep moving.
If you are in a journey and discovered that you lost your way, stopping will not take you anywhere. You have to choose another direction and keep moving.
Being in motion is the only way that will allow you to reach your destination. You can take shortcuts, you can take a faster vehicle, or you can get a map to identify the shortest path. Whatever you choose to do, the most important thing is to keep moving and take action.
Successful people are action-oriented. They work very hard, they are determined, and they are focused.
To rise above mediocrity, learn from your mistakes, keep moving and never quit. This is your secret formula to taking powerful actions that will lead you to achieve massive success in your life.


Charlotte Hunter operates the SelfHelpWarrior website community for people who wish to improve all aspects of their lives. We have many free ebooks, reports, articles and special offers to help improve self esteem and self confidence. Pop over to the http://www.selfhelpwarrior.com site and see for yourself how we have helped thousands of people.
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CHANGE IS GOOD......SOMETIMES IT IS SIMPLE.

Relationship Advice: Change Yourself

By Jeff Herring

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Doanld Gough
Do you know how we often try to change the person we are with in a relationship? We try to argue them into being different, trick them into being different, threaten, maniputlate and even plead with them to be different.
Do you know what the problem with this plan is? You cannot change another person. And what's worse, all your efforts to try to get someone to be different usually leads to the opposite result. It's human nature to want to resist someone who is trying to change us.
This is because the bottom line problem is that the only person we can change is ourselves. And that is tough enough most of the time.
Relationships are like a dance
As a marriage therapist and couples coach, I have learned that I can work with a couple even if only one person is coming to my office or talking to me on the phone.
Sounds strange, but work with me here.
Picture a ballroom dancing floor, the kind with all the steps to a dance laid out in the form of footprints on the floor. Follow the steps of the footprints, and you dance a certaiin dance.
Change just your steps in the dance, and your partner has to change their steps as well.
In your relationship, change some of your steps in the dance for the better, and see what happens.


Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

CHANGE IS GOOD......DEAL WITH IT !!!

Coping with Change: Develop Your Personal Strategy

By Steve Singleton

Why do we resist change?As the saying goes, the only people who like change are busy cashiers and wet babies. We find change disorienting, creating within us an anxiety similar to culture shock, the unease visitors to an alien land feel because of the absence of the familiar cues they took for granted back home. With an established routine, we don't have to think! And thinking is hard work.
Change is a business fact of lifeIs your company is currently undergoing major changes that will affect the lives of all of its employees? These changes are probably in response to the evolving needs of your customers. They are made possible because of improvements in telecommunications and digital technology. They are likely guided by accepted principles and practices of total quality management. And you can expect that they will result in significant improvements profitability--a success that all employees will share. Because our customers' needs are NOW, we must make changes swiftly, which means that all of us must cooperate with the changes, rather than resist them.
How do we resist change?We tend to respond to change the same way we respond to anything we perceive as a threat: by flight or fight. Our first reaction is flight--we try to avoid change if we can. We do what futurist Faith Popcorn calls "cocooning": we seal ourselves off from those around us and try to ignore what is happening. This can happen in the workplace just by being passive. We don't volunteer for teams or committees; we don't make suggestions, ask questions, or offer constructive criticism. But the changes ahead are inescapable. Those who "cocoon" themselves will be left behind.
Even worse is to fight, to actively resist change. Resistance tactics might include negativity, destructive criticism, and even sabotage. If this seldom happens at your company, you are fortunate.
Take a different approach to changeRejecting both alternatives of flight or flight, we seek a better option--one that neither avoids change nor resists it, but harnesses and guides it.
Change can be the means to your goals, not a barrier to them. Both fight and flight are reactions to perceiving change as a threat. But if we can change our perceptions, we can avoid those reactions. An old proverb goes, "Every change brings an opportunity." In other words, we must learn to see change as a means of achieving our goals, not a barrier preventing us from reaching them.
Another way of expressing the same thought is: A change in my external circumstances provides me with an opportunity to grow as a human being. The greater the change is, the greater and faster I can grow. If we can perceive change along these lines, we will find it exciting and energizing, rather than depressing and debilitating.
Yet this restructuring of our perspective on change can take some time. In fact, coping with change follows the same steps as the grieving process.1 The steps are shock and denial that the old routine must be left behind, then anger that change is inevitable, then despair and a longing for the old ways, eventually replaced by acceptance of the new and a brighter view of the future. Everyone works through this process; for some, the transition is lightning fast, for others painfully slow.
Realize your capacity to adapt.As one writer put it recently:
Our foreparents lived through sea changes, upheavals so cataclysmic, so devastating we may never appreciate the fortitude and resilience required to survive them. The next time you feel resistant, think about them and about what they faced--and about what they fashioned from a fraction of the options we have. They blended old and new worlds, creating family, language, cuisine and new life-affirming rhythms, and they encouraged their children to keep on stepping toward an unknown but malleable future.2
Human beings are created remarkably flexible, capable of adapting to a wide variety of environments and situations. Realizing this can help you to embrace and guide change rather than resisting or avoiding it.
Develop a coping strategy based on who you are.Corporate employees typically follow one of four decision-making styles: analytical, directive, conceptual, and behavioral. These four styles, described in a book by Alan J. Rowe and Richard O. Mason,3 have the following characteristics:
Analytical Style – technical, logical, careful, methodical, needs much data, likes order, enjoys problem-solving, enjoys structure, enjoys scientific study, and enjoys working alone.
Conceptual Style – creative and artistic, future oriented, likes to brainstorm, wants independence, uses judgment, optimistic, uses ideas vs. data, looks at the big picture, rebellious and opinionated, and committed to principles or a vision.
Behavioral Style – supportive of others, empathetic, wants affiliation, nurtures others, communicates easily, uses instinct, avoids stress, avoids conflict, relies on feelings instead of data, and enjoys team/group efforts.
Directive Style – aggressive, acts rapidly, takes charge, persuasive and/or is manipulative, uses rules, needs power/status, impatient, productive, single-minded, and enjoys individual achievements.
Read once more through these descriptions and identify which style best describes you. Then find and study the strategy people who share your style follow to cope with change:
Analytical coping strategy – You see change as a challenging puzzle to be solved. You need plenty of time to gather information, analyze data, and draw conclusions. You will resist change if you are not given enough time to think it through.
Conceptual coping strategy – You are interested in how change fits into the big picture. You want to be involved in defining what needs to change and why. You will resist change if you feel excluded from participating in the change process.
Behavioral coping strategy – You want to know how everyone feels about the changes ahead. You work best when you know that the whole group is supportive of each other and that everyone champions the change process. If the change adversely affects someone in the group, you will perceive change as a crisis.
Directive coping strategy – You want specifics on how the change will affect you and what your own role will be during the change process. If you know the rules of the change process and the desired outcome, you will act rapidly and aggressively to achieve change goals. You resist change if the rules or anticipated results are not clearly defined.
Realizing what our normal decision-making style is, can enable us to develop personal change-coping tactics.
How can we cope with change?1. Get the big picture. – Sometimes, not only do we miss the forest because of the trees, but we don't even see the tree because we're focused on the wood. Attaining a larger perspective can help all of us to cope with change, not just the conceptualists. The changes underway at my company are clearly following at least four important trends, which I believe are probably reflective of businesses in general:
Away from localized work toward network-based work,
Away from a feast-or-famine working environment toward a routinely busy working environment,
Away from site-limited approaches toward approaches that are consistent company-wide, and
Away from vertical, top-down management toward a more horizontal management structure, with shared accountability.
Getting at least this much comprehension of the big picture will help us to understand where each of us fits.
2. Do some anchoring. – When everything around you is in a state of flux, it sure helps to find something stable that isn't going to change, no matter what. Your company's values (whether articulated or not) can provide that kind of stability for you. Ours include the Company Family, Focus on the Customer, Be Committed to Quality, and Maintain Mutual Respect. These values are rock-solid; they are not going to disappear or rearrange themselves into something else. Plus, each of us has personal values that perhaps are even more significant and permanent. Such immovables can serve as anchors to help us ride out the storm.
3. Keep your expectations realistic. – A big part of taking control of the change you experience is to set your expectations. You can still maintain an optimistic outlook, but aim for what is realistically attainable. That way, the negatives that come along won't be so overwhelming, and the positives will be an adrenaline rush. Here are some examples:
There will be some bumps along the road. We shouldn't expect all of the changes ahead to be painless, demanding only minimal sacrifice, cost, or effort. In fact, we should expect some dead ends, some breakdowns in communications, and some misunderstandings, despite our best efforts to avoid them. We may not be able to anticipate all of the problems ahead, but we can map out in general terms how we will deal with them.
Not everyone will change at the same rate. The learning rates of any employees will distribute themselves along a bell curve. A few will adapt rapidly, most will take more time, and a few will adjust gradually. Also, many younger employees may find change, especially technological innovations, easier than those older. The reason may be, as one observer explains, "Older people's hard disks are fuller."4 On the other hand, you may find some younger ones surprisingly reluctant to take on a new challenge.
The results of change may come more slowly than we would want. As participants in an "instant society," conditioned by the media to expect complex problems to reach resolution in a 60-minute time frame, we may find the positive results of change slow to arrive from the distant horizon. If we are aware of this, we won't be so disappointed if tomorrow's results seem so similar to today's. 4. Develop your own, personal change tactics. Get plenty of exercise, plenty of rest, and watch your diet. Even if you take all the right steps and follow the best advice, undergoing change creates stress in your life, and stress takes energy. Aware of this, you can compensate by taking special care of your body.
Invest time and energy in training. Sharpen your skills so that you can meet the challenges ahead with confidence. If the training you need is not available through Bowne, get it somewhere else, such as the community college or adult education program in your area.
Get help when you need it. If you are confused or overwhelmed with the changes swirling around you, ask for help. Your supervisor, manager, or coworkers may be able to assist you in adjusting to the changes taking place. Your human resources department and any company-provided counseling services are other resources available to you.
Make sure the change does not compromise either your company values or your personal ones. If you are not careful, the technological advances jostling each other for your attention and adoption will tend to isolate you from personal contact with your coworkers and customers. E-mail, teleconference, voice-mail, and Intranet can make us more in touch with each other, or they can keep us antiseptically detached, removed from an awareness that the digital signals we are sending reach and influence another flesh-and-blood human being.
Aware of this tendency, we must actively counteract the drift in this direction by taking an interest in people and opening up ourselves to them in return. We have to remember to invest in people--all of those around us--not just in technology.
The "new normalcy"Ultimately, we may discover that the current state of flux is permanent. After the events of September 11, Vice President Richard Cheney said we should accept the many resultant changes in daily life as permanent rather than temporary. "Think of them," he recommended, "as the 'new normalcy.'"
You should take the same approach to the changes happening at your workplace. These are not temporary adjustments until things get "back to normal." They are probably the "new normalcy" of your life as a company. The sooner you can accept that these changes are permanent, the better you can cope with them all--and enjoy their positive results.

Notes
1. Nancy J. Barger and Linda K. Kirby, The Challenge of Change in Organizations: Helping Employees Thrive in the New Frontier (Palo Alto, CA: Davies-Black Publ., 1995). This source is summarized in Mary M. Witherspoon, "Coping with Change," Women in Business 52, 3 (May/June 2000): 22-25.
2. Susan Taylor, "Embracing Change," Essence (Feb. 2002): 5.
3. Alan J. Rowe and Richard O. Mason, Managing with Style: A Guide to Understanding, Assessing and Improving Decision-Making (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Management Series, 1987) cited in Witherspoon, "Coping with Change."
4. Emily Friedman, "Creature Comforts," Health Forum Journal 42, 3 (May/June 1999): 8-11. Futurist John Naisbitt has addressed this tendency in his book, High tech/high touch: Technology and our search for meaning (New York: Random House, 1999). Naisbitt co-wrote this book with his daughter Nana Naisbitt and Douglas Philips.
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Copyright ©2006 Steve Singleton
Steve Singleton has written and edited several books and numerous articles. He has been an editor, reporter, and public relations consultant. He has taught college-level Greek, Bible, and religious studies courses and has taught seminars in 11 states and the Caribbean.
Go to his DeeperStudy.com for Bible study resources, no matter what your level of expertise. Explore "The Shallows," plumb "The Depths," or use the well-organized "Study Links" for original sources in English translation. Check out the DeeperStudy Bookstore for great e-books, free books, and great discounts. Subscribe to his free "DeeperStudy Newsletter" or "DeeperStudy Blog."