You Must Deal With Negative Emotions to Have the Most Success
By Sean R Mize
Many people are unable to or do not want to recognize their negative emotions. Perhaps they have never learnt of positive ways in which they can manage them. As a result, they cope with these feelings in different ways. Some just try to deny them or shut them down completely by using cigarettes or alcohol or through eating, even not eating. Some act on their emotions almost spontaneously, saying or doing things that they come to regret later. None of these reactions ever leads to positive outcomes.
The first thing you have to realize is that while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can certainly control your response to the situation. You can learn to stay calm and manage your feelings. Many a times, your response is based on your interpretation of an event and this can be very different in a time when you are feeling self-confident and good about yourself while it will be very different in a time when you are feeling very low. As a result, you have to control the thoughts that any event will trigger and the kind of conclusions that you may draw about the event, especially if it is related to your sense of self-worth. One should always remember that our emotions also help us to deal with different situations. When you experience any kind of emotional response, you need to be able to respond to it positively. The only way you can do that is if you know what situation triggers what kind of emotional response in you and to what degree; and how you would like to be prepared to handle them.
The four core emotions that everyone is affected by are anger, sadness, fear and joy. If you understand what your reactions are and work on moderating them as well as managing them, you will feel more in control of yourself and more confident of handling various situations. Let us understand what each one of these emotions is, how each one of these emotions helps us and where they may tend to harm us.
By the way, do you want to learn how to sell high ticket classes and coaching programs via the internet?
Download my new recording: "How to Sell High Ticket Products Online" here: High Ticket Selling Secrets
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Sean Mize teaches coaches, consultants, and small business owners how to package their knowledge and sell it in high priced coaching, consulting, and online class packages. Sean says "If you have an existing marketable service or skill that you can teach others, I can teach you to package it into a high-priced class or coaching program, guaranteed" Visit Sean at: Internet Marketing Coaching
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sean_R_Mize
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD .....THE OTHER SIDE IS NOT BAD
The Light in the Dark
By Anastasia Netri
In these times, many of us find ourselves overloaded with self help techniques and information. It is a wonderful time, and there are many people right now that are feeling more powerful than ever before because of all that is available. Most self help strategies center around one particular idea: think positive and achieve positive results.
I went through an experience recently that compels me to share with you another aspect of the self - improvement (or self-realization if you prefer) journey. An aspect that is too often not discussed by experts in the field of self help and spirituality, and feared by many. I invite you now to go there with me today. Let's talk about the "Dark Side".
The dark side, referred to as "The Pain Body" by Eckart Tolle, is something that exists within each of us. There are many theories as to why we have a dark side, so pick one that works for you. I have a few - but so much about the human experience still remains a mystery to me.
This is a delicate article to write, because in order to share my insight, I must first share my experience of how I came to it. As a coach, writer, and speaker, I find myself in new territory here. I am going to have to take you with me to my dark side.
I am generally a positive person. I have worked for a long time to be that way. I even hate to say it, but I have thought that if I go to a negative place in my body or mind that I am failing somehow. If I only was strong enough I wouldn't ever go back to "that place" again. Each time that I do go there and come out, behind the breakthrough is a belief that "now I've got it!" and I don't have to worry about going down again. Then when I feel the negativity coming on, not only have to deal with that pain, but the judgment that somehow I'm doing something wrong, and that's why I'm experiencing this again.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke in a pretty negative state. Not only did I feel bad physically, but there was a lot of judgments and negative thoughts that were in my mind. It felt quite overwhelming. Since I have become more conscious and aware of myself - now I had another interesting aspect I was experiencing. I was watching these feelings take me over, and at the same time feeling totally powerless to stop it. Like there was two of me, one "me" tied to a chair while watching another "me" getting beaten up and verbally abused. The more I tried to do every "technique" I knew how to do, nothing seemed to be working. It just kept getting worse. For the next few days, I found myself physically ill, and in a horrible emotional state. I felt completely hopeless and angry, and had a deep loathing of myself and the world. It was a scary place to be. I remember having thoughts during that experience like, "I've done all this work, and what good is it?"
Being that it was a combination of emotional and physical pain, I had no choice but to stay with it. Distraction was not an option. I felt like I couldn't escape it anyway. So I did. I stayed right there with it. I didn't want to be - I had to be. I felt trapped.
A few days later, as I became aware of my first thoughts in the morning, I noticed some loving ones. I woke up, sat up and bed and realized that it was gone. I felt good and extremely grateful. Funny enough, my feelings of gratitude were not that the feeling was gone - but for the experience itself. I felt a new sense of understanding and compassion. I felt as if I'd just broken through something into a new layer of consciousness, and I had a love inside of me that was not there before. I knew then that it was because of this dark place, and found myself knowing for the first time that the face of God lies in the dark as well as the light.
I began looking at my judgments of myself and the world. I felt much more accepting of myself, others, and saw more beauty in the world than I ever have. I remember feeling that I could relate to certain people in my life more and understand what they were experiencing. I became aware that sometimes my role not only as a friend, but as a coach, will on some occasions just simply be allowing and accepting people in their own dark space. I feel now as if I have much more to offer people in my life, friends and clients alike.
Now I have a perspective of the "dark side", and it is this: When one is on the path to really know their true self, become more conscious, happy, successful - whatever it is, they will have to keep going deeper and deeper into their subconscious, and at some point - a "breakthrough" will be in order. When one "breaks through" a layer, that experience may be an intense one. So, now I know that if I feel a negative experience arising, I may be getting ready to break through something. I feel as if I am more likely to welcome the feeling instead of resisting it, or judging myself for having it.
I believe that what the self help industry is telling us is that we are creating our life, and it is important to have a more positive view of the world if you want your life to be happier. That is completely right. However, it doesn't mean you are NEVER going to have an intense experience or a negative feeling.
What I wish to covey to you is simply this: It is all a PART of the process. If you have a negative feeling, or go to a dark place, it doesn't mean you're failing. You're still on the right track. You may be breaking new ground. Sometimes pain helps us understand a different perspective. Sometimes pain is what causes us to seek the light. Welcoming your entire human experience will bring you much more peace than trying to go through life without going up and down. Even those who are "enlightened" still have energetic ups and downs, but they simply accept them. That's it. It's acceptance of the whole - not being "positive" all the time that is the key to true inner peace.
It's a practice, it may not all happen overnight. I know that now, and as I go out into the world I find opportunities to practice acceptance in just about every given moment. Especially in a situation that pushes my buttons. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. I have faith that over time it will become more and more natural as I continue to practice.
You are beautiful and perfect in all your joy and pain, ups and downs, dark and light. It is all you. It is all part of humanity. I know sometimes it can be a challenge, it is for all of us. Just do the best you can with what you have at the time, and don't give up. There's so much beauty, and it's easier to see when you come into a flower garden straight from the battlefield. Ever notice that?
Anastasia Netri is a Transition Life Coach and the Founder of of Courage For Transition, a coaching company designed help women in career transitions.
If you liked today's article, you'll love Anastasia's dynamic coaching and CD programs to help you through this time in your life with an effective, powerful, yet loving approach.
You can learn more about Anastasia and her coaching programs and products at http://courage4transition.com You may also sign up for her ezine "Tips for Tranquil Transitions" and receive a bonus gift just for signing up!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anastasia_Netri
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD......KNOW THYSELF
Discontent - The Jumping Point For Your Future Success and Happiness
By David Bohl
What does it mean to succeed? The answer is different for everyone. And yet, sometimes our society seems to be set up as if everyone's idea of success is the same as everyone else's - as if we all belong to a single homogeneous parade of human life with identical starting and ending points, and identical needs and desires in between. But nothing could be further from the truth.
What does success look like to you?
Have you ever really thought about it? Or have you just proceeded along the same parade route as everyone else, assuming that since everyone else is going this way, they must know where they're going? Perhaps you've felt from time to time that the whole group seems to have gone the wrong way, or that they're moving at a pace that's too fast or too slow for your needs. But then you figured, since everyone else seems okay with it, maybe it was just you? Well, it's not just you. In fact, all of us have felt this way at one point or another. And if the feeling is strong enough, it can become a jumping off point for a significant life change.
Don't let everyone else tell you what your success should look like and be like. Ask yourself the following questions, and compare your answers against the way you're currently living and the direction you're currently taking in life. You might be surprised by the results.
1. Am I pleased with or excited about my life and the direction it's taking?
If you're doing or headed towards what's really important to you, you'll feel a sense of rightness and excitement that's impossible to mistake. This doesn't mean that life will be all fun and games, of course. But if you wake up every day feeling bored or dreading the day to come, that's a sign that you're going the wrong way.
2. What do I do when I'm left to my own devices?
What are your hobbies, your interests or your obsessions? What is it that pulls your attention away from other tasks? What topics get your heart racing or catch your eyes in the bookstore or newspaper? The things you do when you don't have to be doing anything else (or that you wind up thinking about when you're trying to do something else) are key compass points for finding the direction of your own, true success.
3. What are my values?
What do you believe in? What makes you mad? What stirs you to action? What characteristics do you feel form the core of your self? Take inventory of the values and beliefs that are most important to you, and then compare them to what you're doing. Is your current job/lifestyle/personality a good match, or are you living contrary to or in absence of your beliefs?
4. What is important to me?
Do you really want that house in the suburbs, or does it just seem inevitable? Do you dream of living in a vibrant artistic community, or would you prefer something more sedate and rural? Do you want marriage? Children? Travel? Pets? Money? Power? Or, more importantly, do you feel you "should" want them (a sign of external pressures from others' desires)? Are your current actions leading you closer to or further away from these needs? What can you do to more closely align your desires with your direction?
5. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
If you died today, what would be said about you at your funeral or in your obituary? What change or impression have you created in the world? If you asked your current circle of friends and colleagues to describe you, what would they say? What do you wish they would say? What would you like to leave behind? Look to your answers to see where changes can be made, and reflect on where the gaps lie. These gaps can point to areas where you're not living true to yourself, or they can be evidence of "shoulds" - things you feel you should be doing or believing, but don't really want to.
The answers to these questions will provide you with a basic road map for true success. Like wearing another's clothes or pretending to be someone we're not, chasing after success that doesn't really match our needs or desires is uncomfortable and fraught with struggle. It doesn't "fit." Finding the right fit for success in your life is the key to finally breaking free of the one-size-fits-all parade and learning to dance to the beat of your own drum.
Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bohl
By David Bohl
What does it mean to succeed? The answer is different for everyone. And yet, sometimes our society seems to be set up as if everyone's idea of success is the same as everyone else's - as if we all belong to a single homogeneous parade of human life with identical starting and ending points, and identical needs and desires in between. But nothing could be further from the truth.
What does success look like to you?
Have you ever really thought about it? Or have you just proceeded along the same parade route as everyone else, assuming that since everyone else is going this way, they must know where they're going? Perhaps you've felt from time to time that the whole group seems to have gone the wrong way, or that they're moving at a pace that's too fast or too slow for your needs. But then you figured, since everyone else seems okay with it, maybe it was just you? Well, it's not just you. In fact, all of us have felt this way at one point or another. And if the feeling is strong enough, it can become a jumping off point for a significant life change.
Don't let everyone else tell you what your success should look like and be like. Ask yourself the following questions, and compare your answers against the way you're currently living and the direction you're currently taking in life. You might be surprised by the results.
1. Am I pleased with or excited about my life and the direction it's taking?
If you're doing or headed towards what's really important to you, you'll feel a sense of rightness and excitement that's impossible to mistake. This doesn't mean that life will be all fun and games, of course. But if you wake up every day feeling bored or dreading the day to come, that's a sign that you're going the wrong way.
2. What do I do when I'm left to my own devices?
What are your hobbies, your interests or your obsessions? What is it that pulls your attention away from other tasks? What topics get your heart racing or catch your eyes in the bookstore or newspaper? The things you do when you don't have to be doing anything else (or that you wind up thinking about when you're trying to do something else) are key compass points for finding the direction of your own, true success.
3. What are my values?
What do you believe in? What makes you mad? What stirs you to action? What characteristics do you feel form the core of your self? Take inventory of the values and beliefs that are most important to you, and then compare them to what you're doing. Is your current job/lifestyle/personality a good match, or are you living contrary to or in absence of your beliefs?
4. What is important to me?
Do you really want that house in the suburbs, or does it just seem inevitable? Do you dream of living in a vibrant artistic community, or would you prefer something more sedate and rural? Do you want marriage? Children? Travel? Pets? Money? Power? Or, more importantly, do you feel you "should" want them (a sign of external pressures from others' desires)? Are your current actions leading you closer to or further away from these needs? What can you do to more closely align your desires with your direction?
5. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
If you died today, what would be said about you at your funeral or in your obituary? What change or impression have you created in the world? If you asked your current circle of friends and colleagues to describe you, what would they say? What do you wish they would say? What would you like to leave behind? Look to your answers to see where changes can be made, and reflect on where the gaps lie. These gaps can point to areas where you're not living true to yourself, or they can be evidence of "shoulds" - things you feel you should be doing or believing, but don't really want to.
The answers to these questions will provide you with a basic road map for true success. Like wearing another's clothes or pretending to be someone we're not, chasing after success that doesn't really match our needs or desires is uncomfortable and fraught with struggle. It doesn't "fit." Finding the right fit for success in your life is the key to finally breaking free of the one-size-fits-all parade and learning to dance to the beat of your own drum.
Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bohl
Friday, January 09, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD......IT WILL BE OK
How to Overcome Insurmountable Challenges
By Annette Colby
Years ago, I realized that our most difficult personal challenges offer a unique opportunity to raise our sights, explore new potentials and possibilities, and cast off beliefs of limitation and doubt. Personal challenges are a way of working things out for ourselves and discovering new creative approaches for old problems.
It's tempting to view personal challenges, such as depression, eating disorders, addictions, or weight issues as an illness or disease that must be fought or medicated, or as a shameful inner enemy that needs to be conquered. However, an alternate view is that challenges are our personal attempt to rise above inner repression, self-doubt, and insecurity. Rising to life's challenges and overcoming personal obstacles is how we grow into a new higher potential of love and fulfillment.
Although it may feel unfair, an obstacle is not a big test put upon us by the universe. Instead, we are aware of an obstacle only when we have brought ourselves to the edge of our current abilities. While we're standing at the edge, things can certainly look bleak and hopeless. We can feel overwhelmed and desperately wish that someone would wave a magic wand and whisk away all our problems. But if we could see our situation from a higher perspective we could also see that through the challenge we are learning that we can rely on ourselves even in the most difficult of situations.
Personal challenges help us to build a new identity. Through them we discover how to develop empowering self-leadership skills. By necessity, because we eventually try everything else, challenges lead us to reach inside and activate creativity, inner resourcefulness, and wisdom. Personal challenges necessitate that you must dig deeper than you ever thought possible - and what you discover is unexpected reservoirs of confidence, determination, self-esteem, and self-love.
Facing a Dead-End
If you are dealing with depression, addiction, anxiety and panic, an eating disorder, or repeated attempts at weight loss, you are dealing with a major personal challenge. These are the types of challenges that take you to down a long and difficult path... only to one day find yourself facing a dead-end. Not knowing how you can possibly move beyond your problem, you will feel worn out and discouraged, absolutely not knowing how to move forward.
Feelings of hopelessness, ineptitude, unworthiness, or even shame curse through your mind and body. All the negative beliefs you have about your inability to achieve success rise to the surface. You will feel so badly that you will berate yourself for ever thinking you could achieve your goal or overcome your challenge. You'll wish you had never started this stupid journey. However, this dead-end, this place of excruciating self-doubt and agony is exactly the place you need to be right now.
Limiting Beliefs
A dead-end obstacle represents restrictive beliefs you hold about yourself, repressive beliefs about your ability to have what you want, or painful beliefs about life itself. The horrible feelings you are experiencing are not there because you are inadequate, being punished, or undeserving. Instead, because you stepped forward into creating change, the old beliefs that you once held hidden deeply within yourself have now become exposed.
Limiting beliefs are ideas that hold you back and keep you from becoming the person you want to be. Most times limiting beliefs are not true, but because you believe them to be true they act like brakes on your progress. Limiting beliefs can include ideas that some there is some character trait about you that is inescapable or unchangeable.
If you feel that some area of your life isn't the way you want it be, yet you feel hopeless, helpless, or worthless to change it, then you probably have limiting beliefs. Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:
I can't.
I am bad.
I won't succeed, so there's no point in trying.
I lack the ability to achieve my goal.
I can't have what I want.
I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve what I want.
I'm afraid of success.
Exposing the Land of Limitation
If you are facing an obstacle, don't stop now. Although you would rather not be facing such difficulty, it is important that you keep going. Generally our limiting beliefs are hidden away - out of mind and out of sight. But because of your personal challenge you took risks and tried new actions. You wanted to see if you could move beyond your current reality.
Your actions led you to discover that so far you cannot have success, you cannot have what you want. And this is the point of your journey, to bring to the surface your limiting beliefs, your emotional resistance, and all the reasons why you believe you can't have what you most want. Your challenge or goal is showing you the difference between the current reality that you live in and the reality that you want to live in. Something would have to be different... and that something is you.
Feelings Speak About What Is - Not What Can Be
You may not recognize your exact limiting belief, but when you are facing an obstacle you almost always can feel the energy that goes with your belief. Sometimes a limiting belief will make you feel anxious or angry. Other times you may feel overwhelmed, irritated, lethargic, or even depressed. If you're feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are about to collapse in front of your goal, chances are you are in direct contact with a limiting belief.
What's the solution? Take a breath, don't run away from what you are feeling, and be willing to admit consciously what you believe to be true about you or your ability to navigate through this situation. As your beliefs rise to the surface, they will bring with them a plethora of difficult emotions. These emotions tell you what you currently believe about who you are and what you can be.
A New Potential Reality
There is the potential of a happier, brighter, more expansive reality beyond your obstacle. Yet, there's a catch. That reality doesn't exist yet. It has to be imagined, created, and allowed first - by you. To get to the other side of the obstacle requires envisioning yourself living the type of life you want to be living, and gaining new beliefs that will support you living that life. That's the purpose of your challenge. You're not fighting against what you don't want, you are in the process of choosing the life you want to live, and then building the self-supportive beliefs necessary to allow you to live that life. If you are facing an obstacle, back up and examine your challenge. Why you want what you want, and what strengths you will gain by creating that success in your life?
How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Many of our limiting beliefs are stubborn, deeply entrenched, and feel unbearable. Yet to get beyond your challenge requires facing your current beliefs about life, others, and yourself, and seeing where those beliefs limit and hold you back. Instead of turning back in defeat or pushing relentlessly against an unmovable wall, decide to get acquainted with your beliefs.
Becoming aware of limiting beliefs is typically challenging, since beliefs tend to remain hidden in our subconscious. But if you are attempting to overcome a personal challenge, then you are in luck! With every new action you take, your fears and limiting beliefs are bound to rise up out of hiding. When they do, you can calmly ask yourself these questions:
What exactly are you telling yourself when the situation seems unachievable?
What do you feel to be true about yourself when you are facing a dead-end?
Why is your goal unattainable?
What skills do you lack to attain it?
Why don't you deserve to achieve your goal?
How does this belief keep you safe?
What benefit do you get from holding this belief?
Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It's a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs. To overcome your self-limiting beliefs, examine the beliefs you hold. Question their validity. Journal about them. Take a conscious look at them, and decide if those beliefs are really the ones you want to hold in your future. And then take action to replace them with better ones.
Dr. Annette Colby can show you how to fall in love with who you really are, how to trust your true feelings, and how to create harmony with your mind, body, and spirit to create a new sense of purpose and passion. Learn how with a FREE subscription to Loving Miracles weekly newsletter. Sign-up now at http://www.AnnetteColby.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Annette_Colby
Friday, December 26, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......IT'S NEVER TO LATE
For Christmas Week - Things I Wish I Had Said
By Jerry Elrod
There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Although I am a senior citizen living happily in retirement, I cannot claim memory issues about what I didn't say. Rather, I must admit to unthoughtful or neglectful behavior. Not a happy thought, so here are a few things I wish I had told you.
I wish I had said "I APPRECIATE YOU" more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn't it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.
I wish I had said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when I didn't. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.
I wish I had said "I CARE." There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those "down days" when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn't have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.
I wish I had said "FORGIVE ME." Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.
I wish I had said "HOW ARE YOU" and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.
I wish I had said "TELL ME ABOUT IT" when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.
I wish I had said "THANK YOU" for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn't say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.
I wish I had said "I MISS YOU." Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.
I wish I had said "I LOVE YOU." Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.
I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have; I think most of us senior citizens know how to be kind and compassionate. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: "HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE."
Article provided by Dr. Jerry D. Elrod. For information on retirement, Baby Boomers and everything related to Seniors, please visit my blog at http://seniorcitizenjournal.blogspot.com
By Jerry Elrod
There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Although I am a senior citizen living happily in retirement, I cannot claim memory issues about what I didn't say. Rather, I must admit to unthoughtful or neglectful behavior. Not a happy thought, so here are a few things I wish I had told you.
I wish I had said "I APPRECIATE YOU" more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn't it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.
I wish I had said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when I didn't. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.
I wish I had said "I CARE." There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those "down days" when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn't have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.
I wish I had said "FORGIVE ME." Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.
I wish I had said "HOW ARE YOU" and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.
I wish I had said "TELL ME ABOUT IT" when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.
I wish I had said "THANK YOU" for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn't say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.
I wish I had said "I MISS YOU." Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.
I wish I had said "I LOVE YOU." Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.
I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have; I think most of us senior citizens know how to be kind and compassionate. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: "HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE."
Article provided by Dr. Jerry D. Elrod. For information on retirement, Baby Boomers and everything related to Seniors, please visit my blog at http://seniorcitizenjournal.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 11, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......JUST DO IT
Action - The Critical Ingredient For Achieving Anything in Life
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joi_Sigers
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joi_Sigers
Monday, December 01, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE
10 Ways to Deal With Negative Thinking, Panic and Paralyzing Fears
By Peter Murphy
I recently heard from a friend who had been laid off at the newspaper she worked at because of the faltering economy. She didn't have many job leads and her motivation was at an all-time low. She felt that there was nothing more frightening than being a writer in an uncertain job market.
Panic and fear quickly took over; where would she go from go from there?
How would she pay her bills?
How would she cope with uncertainty?
Her mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and she began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze her into stagnant ground forever.
As she began to realize what a toll her predicament was leaving her in, it became clear to her that she needed to take action and do something to get herself out of the hole she was in.
Once she sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing her dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and she was on a roll!
Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.
The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.
Reading through them should help you gain some perspective into your particular situation:
1. Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong
Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you're having to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were.
It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.
Take some time to get in touch with those feelings.
The night my friend got laid off she drove home, fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes.
Then she called me.
I got her to get up, take a long shower, change into some comfortable clothes, and then she spent some time sat in front of the television watching 'Friends'.
Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be.focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.
2. Take a DEEP BREATH!
Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it.
Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus.
Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.
3. Organize your home, organize your life
Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have?
If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it.
There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it.
So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way.
You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive.
Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.
However:
5. Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism
Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus.
Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it.
Take charge of your life again.
6. Have someone objective to talk to
When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful.
In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.
7. Keep a journal of your progress
Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.
8. Get out of the house!
Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.
9. Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you
Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like fishing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings for local organizations?
These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.
10. Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE!
Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, nothing about my friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had she not kept herself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety.
Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do.
So get your coat, get your shoes, get your smile and go out into the world!
Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.
All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stay motivated
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Murphy
By Peter Murphy
I recently heard from a friend who had been laid off at the newspaper she worked at because of the faltering economy. She didn't have many job leads and her motivation was at an all-time low. She felt that there was nothing more frightening than being a writer in an uncertain job market.
Panic and fear quickly took over; where would she go from go from there?
How would she pay her bills?
How would she cope with uncertainty?
Her mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and she began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze her into stagnant ground forever.
As she began to realize what a toll her predicament was leaving her in, it became clear to her that she needed to take action and do something to get herself out of the hole she was in.
Once she sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing her dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and she was on a roll!
Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.
The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.
Reading through them should help you gain some perspective into your particular situation:
1. Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong
Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you're having to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were.
It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.
Take some time to get in touch with those feelings.
The night my friend got laid off she drove home, fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes.
Then she called me.
I got her to get up, take a long shower, change into some comfortable clothes, and then she spent some time sat in front of the television watching 'Friends'.
Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be.focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.
2. Take a DEEP BREATH!
Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it.
Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus.
Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.
3. Organize your home, organize your life
Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have?
If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it.
There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it.
So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way.
You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive.
Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.
However:
5. Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism
Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus.
Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it.
Take charge of your life again.
6. Have someone objective to talk to
When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful.
In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.
7. Keep a journal of your progress
Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.
8. Get out of the house!
Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.
9. Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you
Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like fishing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings for local organizations?
These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.
10. Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE!
Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, nothing about my friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had she not kept herself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety.
Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do.
So get your coat, get your shoes, get your smile and go out into the world!
Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.
All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stay motivated
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Murphy
Sunday, November 23, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......SOME ADVICE
Ten Rules to Success
By Ole Alouni
In her book If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules, New York Times bestselling author, Cherie Carter-Scott, presents ten rules for a fulfilling, meaningful, and satisfying life. These rules are easy to follow, practical, and, most of all, do not require you to have a million dollar in the bank to start. So, with this short introduction out of the way, here are the ten rules for a fulfilling life.
Rule # 1: Each Person Has His Own Definition of Success
I like this idea. I don’t have to be a Donald Trump or an Oprah Winfrey to claim success. Cherrie Carter-Scott believes that the “true essence of success, beneath the visible markers and goals, lies in your own personal sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.”
Rule # 2: Wanting Success Is the First Step Toward Attaining It
Success begins with a dream. It is conceive in one’s desire. This desire then turns into an unbending intention that perseveres in the face of insurmountable odds.
Rule # 3: Self-Trust is Essential
“Self-trust is needed not only to guide you to your authentic path; it is needed to keep you there when the road gets bumpy. It is needed when inner doubts arise along the way, when others think you are “crazy” for wanting what you want or doing what you do, when you want to make tough choices, and when you encounter trials and obstacles.”
Rule # 4: Goals Are the Stepping-Stones on Your Path
What’s the difference between visions and goals? Visions are general, broad, and long-term oriented that form as the framework for someone’s goals. Goals are objectives that are specific and measurable.
To distinguish between a vision and a goal, Cherie Carte-Scott uses several examples in her book. One of these examples is the vision of getting in shape. To weigh 175 pounds, be firm and fit by June 15 is the goal.
Rule # 5: Your Actions Affect Your Outcomes
To reap, one must plant. Our world revolves around the principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, stimulus and response, planting and reaping, etc. Both are mutually dependent upon each other.
Success and happiness are not coincidences. Rather, they are products of design and great effort. A person’s thoughts influence his actions. A person’s actions are formed into his habits. A person’s habits are fashioned into his character. And a person’s character determines his fate and destiny.
Rule # 6: Opportunities Will Be Presented
Opportunities are forks in one’s path. How we choose them determines, to a greater extent, our failure or success. Everyday, each one of us on this planet is presented with an opportunity. We must choose wisely, act fearlessly, and pursue each opportunity valiantly.
Rule # 7: Each Setback Provides Valuable Lessons
“The wise learns from his mistakes,” so says an old proverb. Life is not a bed of roses. As one pursues success, wealth, and fame, setbacks are inevitable. Setbacks are not bad; they are good. Setbacks allow us to reexamine our mode of operation, thus, helping us to improve it, and making us better persons in the process.
Rule # 8: Managing Your Resources Maximizes Your Efforts
Everyone is a steward, a manager, a caretaker. In terms of time, each one is given exactly 24 hours per day to manage. In terms of abilities, each one is given a certain ability to improve upon, and multiply. In terms of resources, the world is an open opportunity to be explored.
What’s the difference between those who succeeded and those who failed? Management! Success does not entail being born with a silver spoon in the mouth; although having a silver spoon is an advantage. Majority of successful people were not born with silver spoons. With their meager resources, they managed to multiply it by discipline and hard work.
Rule # 9: Every Level of Success Brings New Challenges
Rule # 9 reminds me our graduation exercises speaker twenty years ago when he said, “every commencement ceremony is the closing of one door and the opening of another with its new set of opportunity, frustration, and challenges.”
Looking back twenty years, I can undoubtedly say that the man was right on the money. Whether poor or rich, there is an inherent challenge that comes with it.
Rule # 10:
Success Is a Process That Never Ends
I thought I am done; I am not. If there is one thing that needs to be recycled more often, success must take pre-imminence. Not only because success begets success, but because success feels good. It becomes addictive, which, by the way, is a good addiction.
In success, the sky is the limit. So dream it. Work on it with unbending zeal. Seize every opportunity. Learn from your mistakes. Trust yourself. And savor every bit of it along the way.
To read Ole Alouni's other articles, please visit www.living-insights.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ole_Alouni
By Ole Alouni
In her book If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules, New York Times bestselling author, Cherie Carter-Scott, presents ten rules for a fulfilling, meaningful, and satisfying life. These rules are easy to follow, practical, and, most of all, do not require you to have a million dollar in the bank to start. So, with this short introduction out of the way, here are the ten rules for a fulfilling life.
Rule # 1: Each Person Has His Own Definition of Success
I like this idea. I don’t have to be a Donald Trump or an Oprah Winfrey to claim success. Cherrie Carter-Scott believes that the “true essence of success, beneath the visible markers and goals, lies in your own personal sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.”
Rule # 2: Wanting Success Is the First Step Toward Attaining It
Success begins with a dream. It is conceive in one’s desire. This desire then turns into an unbending intention that perseveres in the face of insurmountable odds.
Rule # 3: Self-Trust is Essential
“Self-trust is needed not only to guide you to your authentic path; it is needed to keep you there when the road gets bumpy. It is needed when inner doubts arise along the way, when others think you are “crazy” for wanting what you want or doing what you do, when you want to make tough choices, and when you encounter trials and obstacles.”
Rule # 4: Goals Are the Stepping-Stones on Your Path
What’s the difference between visions and goals? Visions are general, broad, and long-term oriented that form as the framework for someone’s goals. Goals are objectives that are specific and measurable.
To distinguish between a vision and a goal, Cherie Carte-Scott uses several examples in her book. One of these examples is the vision of getting in shape. To weigh 175 pounds, be firm and fit by June 15 is the goal.
Rule # 5: Your Actions Affect Your Outcomes
To reap, one must plant. Our world revolves around the principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, stimulus and response, planting and reaping, etc. Both are mutually dependent upon each other.
Success and happiness are not coincidences. Rather, they are products of design and great effort. A person’s thoughts influence his actions. A person’s actions are formed into his habits. A person’s habits are fashioned into his character. And a person’s character determines his fate and destiny.
Rule # 6: Opportunities Will Be Presented
Opportunities are forks in one’s path. How we choose them determines, to a greater extent, our failure or success. Everyday, each one of us on this planet is presented with an opportunity. We must choose wisely, act fearlessly, and pursue each opportunity valiantly.
Rule # 7: Each Setback Provides Valuable Lessons
“The wise learns from his mistakes,” so says an old proverb. Life is not a bed of roses. As one pursues success, wealth, and fame, setbacks are inevitable. Setbacks are not bad; they are good. Setbacks allow us to reexamine our mode of operation, thus, helping us to improve it, and making us better persons in the process.
Rule # 8: Managing Your Resources Maximizes Your Efforts
Everyone is a steward, a manager, a caretaker. In terms of time, each one is given exactly 24 hours per day to manage. In terms of abilities, each one is given a certain ability to improve upon, and multiply. In terms of resources, the world is an open opportunity to be explored.
What’s the difference between those who succeeded and those who failed? Management! Success does not entail being born with a silver spoon in the mouth; although having a silver spoon is an advantage. Majority of successful people were not born with silver spoons. With their meager resources, they managed to multiply it by discipline and hard work.
Rule # 9: Every Level of Success Brings New Challenges
Rule # 9 reminds me our graduation exercises speaker twenty years ago when he said, “every commencement ceremony is the closing of one door and the opening of another with its new set of opportunity, frustration, and challenges.”
Looking back twenty years, I can undoubtedly say that the man was right on the money. Whether poor or rich, there is an inherent challenge that comes with it.
Rule # 10:
Success Is a Process That Never Ends
I thought I am done; I am not. If there is one thing that needs to be recycled more often, success must take pre-imminence. Not only because success begets success, but because success feels good. It becomes addictive, which, by the way, is a good addiction.
In success, the sky is the limit. So dream it. Work on it with unbending zeal. Seize every opportunity. Learn from your mistakes. Trust yourself. And savor every bit of it along the way.
To read Ole Alouni's other articles, please visit www.living-insights.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ole_Alouni
Saturday, November 15, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD.......HERE IS THE PROOF
We Are Capable of Amazing Things
By Dr. Mario Barrett, Ph.D.
As a young African American man, I was moved to tears as I witnessed a black man become president of the United States. Even though our community has made tremendous strides in many areas, there are many areas that still require a great deal of improvement. This assessment made it difficult for me to see an african american winning the presidency in my lifetime. But, I am glad to see that I was wrong.
What does this victory mean to me? As a young child of immigrant Jamaica parents, I experienced firsthand the struggles of poverty, which was and still is endemic to much of the world's minority community. I witnessed drug dealers and drug users on my block's corner. I witnessed violence in my schoolyard and on the trains as I made my daily commute to within the concrete jungle of New York City. I witnessed my mother struggle to raise three children in section-8 housing. Struggle was my worldview, my reality. Being treated as less than an equal citizen in this great country was commonplace to me as a young adult, as black men were often vilified in the media. However, I chose not to simply accept the status quo attributed to young black boys from the hood. Instead, I dared to dream and strive to be someone unlike anyone I had ever seen in my neighborhood. I wanted to be someone for which there was no blueprint, no role model. Maybe my will to succeed came from my learning, understanding, and appreciating the struggles, leadership, and achievements of my ancestors.
Throughout my life, I have studied, watched footage, and heard about the struggles of blacks from the slave trade, to life on the plantation, to segregation, to the fight for equality during the Civil Rights movement. I have always admired the struggle, courage, hope, sacrifice, and leadership of my people, and have always been amazed at those that access their inner strength when faced with great adversity. This knowledge of my ancestors' inner strength brought forth an awareness of my inner strength and a great sense of pride for all who have stood up in the face of adversity. For this gift, I must say thank you.
·
Thank you, Harriet. · Thank you, Fredrick. · Thank you, Martin. · Thank you, Nelson. · Thank you, Jesse. · And now, thank you, Barack. · Thank you to all my ancestors as well as all of those who crusaded for equality and justice. · Thank you for paving the road for me, as well as all of those that will come after me. · Thank you for your sustained fight against oppression. · Thank you for fighting for your dignity, which is what gives me mine. · Thank you for teaching me that life is not always a pretty road, but amazing things can be achieved if you keep working towards a worthwhile goal. · Thank you for sacrificing your life (in some cases) for that of future generations, so that we eventually witness something as amazing a black man rising to the most powerful office in the world.
I realize that it is now on our generation to keep pushing, just as you did. It is on us to redefine the perceptions that the world has about our community's desires and dreams. I would like to conclude by saying that even though there is still much work to be done, I hope that Barack Obama's election has allowed some of your souls to rest in peace, as you as well as President-elect Obama have shown the world that through courage and leadership we can all do amazing things.
Dr. Barrett has an earned PhD in applied management and decision sciences, with a specialization in leadership and organizational change. He also holds a MS in organizational leadership and a BS in organizational management. In addition to these degrees, Dr. Barrett has completed several executive certificates focusing on various areas of management and leadership development.
Dr. Barrett is proud of his academic accomplishments, as they are the product of his long and sometimes difficult journey out of poverty. Along his journey, Dr. Barrett served honorably in the U.S. Air Force, participating in several vital overseas operations in the Middle East and Europe. He has also taught organizational leadership courses at the graduate degree level at Mercy College. This desire to develop leadership whether it be in myself or others is what drives Dr. Barrett. Dr. Barrett currently lives in NYC, where he runs The Barrett Center for Leadership Development, LLC (http://www.TheBarrettCenter.com) and produces The Barrett Leadership Blog (http://www.TheBarrettCenter.blogspot.com).
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Mario_Barrett,_Ph.D.
This article has been viewed 17 time(s).Article Submitted On: November 11, 2008
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By Dr. Mario Barrett, Ph.D.
As a young African American man, I was moved to tears as I witnessed a black man become president of the United States. Even though our community has made tremendous strides in many areas, there are many areas that still require a great deal of improvement. This assessment made it difficult for me to see an african american winning the presidency in my lifetime. But, I am glad to see that I was wrong.
What does this victory mean to me? As a young child of immigrant Jamaica parents, I experienced firsthand the struggles of poverty, which was and still is endemic to much of the world's minority community. I witnessed drug dealers and drug users on my block's corner. I witnessed violence in my schoolyard and on the trains as I made my daily commute to within the concrete jungle of New York City. I witnessed my mother struggle to raise three children in section-8 housing. Struggle was my worldview, my reality. Being treated as less than an equal citizen in this great country was commonplace to me as a young adult, as black men were often vilified in the media. However, I chose not to simply accept the status quo attributed to young black boys from the hood. Instead, I dared to dream and strive to be someone unlike anyone I had ever seen in my neighborhood. I wanted to be someone for which there was no blueprint, no role model. Maybe my will to succeed came from my learning, understanding, and appreciating the struggles, leadership, and achievements of my ancestors.
Throughout my life, I have studied, watched footage, and heard about the struggles of blacks from the slave trade, to life on the plantation, to segregation, to the fight for equality during the Civil Rights movement. I have always admired the struggle, courage, hope, sacrifice, and leadership of my people, and have always been amazed at those that access their inner strength when faced with great adversity. This knowledge of my ancestors' inner strength brought forth an awareness of my inner strength and a great sense of pride for all who have stood up in the face of adversity. For this gift, I must say thank you.
·
Thank you, Harriet. · Thank you, Fredrick. · Thank you, Martin. · Thank you, Nelson. · Thank you, Jesse. · And now, thank you, Barack. · Thank you to all my ancestors as well as all of those who crusaded for equality and justice. · Thank you for paving the road for me, as well as all of those that will come after me. · Thank you for your sustained fight against oppression. · Thank you for fighting for your dignity, which is what gives me mine. · Thank you for teaching me that life is not always a pretty road, but amazing things can be achieved if you keep working towards a worthwhile goal. · Thank you for sacrificing your life (in some cases) for that of future generations, so that we eventually witness something as amazing a black man rising to the most powerful office in the world.
I realize that it is now on our generation to keep pushing, just as you did. It is on us to redefine the perceptions that the world has about our community's desires and dreams. I would like to conclude by saying that even though there is still much work to be done, I hope that Barack Obama's election has allowed some of your souls to rest in peace, as you as well as President-elect Obama have shown the world that through courage and leadership we can all do amazing things.
Dr. Barrett has an earned PhD in applied management and decision sciences, with a specialization in leadership and organizational change. He also holds a MS in organizational leadership and a BS in organizational management. In addition to these degrees, Dr. Barrett has completed several executive certificates focusing on various areas of management and leadership development.
Dr. Barrett is proud of his academic accomplishments, as they are the product of his long and sometimes difficult journey out of poverty. Along his journey, Dr. Barrett served honorably in the U.S. Air Force, participating in several vital overseas operations in the Middle East and Europe. He has also taught organizational leadership courses at the graduate degree level at Mercy College. This desire to develop leadership whether it be in myself or others is what drives Dr. Barrett. Dr. Barrett currently lives in NYC, where he runs The Barrett Center for Leadership Development, LLC (http://www.TheBarrettCenter.com) and produces The Barrett Leadership Blog (http://www.TheBarrettCenter.blogspot.com).
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Mario_Barrett,_Ph.D.
This article has been viewed 17 time(s).Article Submitted On: November 11, 2008
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Monday, November 10, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......THE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
Hope everyone is happy and thinking big…..
From an article that I read by Deepak K
There is nothing that we cannot accomplish if ……..
1- We Clearly decide what we are absolutely committed to achieving.
2-We are willing to take massive Action.
3-We Notice what is working or not.
4-Continue to change our approach until we achieve what we want.
Regards,
Barry Sarner
Get all motivational tips at Deepak. K's Self Development Zone. Get all articles related to self improvement or self development at Self Development Zone and Self Improvement Zone.
From an article that I read by Deepak K
There is nothing that we cannot accomplish if ……..
1- We Clearly decide what we are absolutely committed to achieving.
2-We are willing to take massive Action.
3-We Notice what is working or not.
4-Continue to change our approach until we achieve what we want.
5-NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP (I added this one)
Just wanted to share the formula for success........Regards,
Barry Sarner
Get all motivational tips at Deepak. K's Self Development Zone. Get all articles related to self improvement or self development at Self Development Zone and Self Improvement Zone.
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