What Does it Take to Succeed Today?
By Steven Conn
Things aren't much different today than in the past when it comes to success.
First off, you need a dream, something beyond your normal everyday desires, something that feels out of reach, but still within reach if you put forth the effort.
People today don't dream as much as in the past. We are so used to getting everything we want and many feel entitled to the same things that those who worked hard for have. Without dreams, there is just hopelessness, a feeling that we are just trying to get through the day without having to work to hard or have anyone depend on us for anything. That is not a life.
Second, we need to understand that if we don't change what we are doing, we can't expect to see a difference. The definition of insanity: "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". How often do you hear people say, I've tried making changes but it's too hard to stick to it. Of course it is. Ask anyone that's ever tried to lose weight. Andy Stanley once talked about change and said "Change is hard, it's supposed to be". Where did we ever get the idea that to improve ourselves or our lifestyle, wasn't going to require effort and a lot of it. It requires daily self-talk and accountability to others that care about you, to help you along. Look at addicts, they need a support group and daily reminders of why they are making the change. Pictures of loved ones that have been hurt are a reminder of why they need to stop living the way they have.
We need to have pictures to remind us of what we are shooting for and who is going to benefit by this dream of ours. I'll tell you a secret, if you are the only benefactor, find a new dream. Life isn't about you all by yourself. Paint others in your dreams and they will come about quicker than if you are just dreaming of the next THING you can buy for yourself. Nothing is wrong with nice stuff, but if that's all you can think of, you need to broaden your mind.
Third, once you have your dream and know what you need to do, you need to do it. A little effort consistently is better then a lot of effort in chunks. Do something everyday.
Fourth, find someone that has accomplished what you desire and find out what they did to get there and follow the leader. Someone, somewhere has done something similar to what you are hoping to do. Find out as much as you can and duplicate their pattern for success. No says it's all up to you, learn from others that have failed and persevered.
Fifth, everyday read from a good book, listen to a positive audio CD, or better yet hang out with positive successful people. Nothing beats a personal mentor that you can work with to share your dreams and come up with a game plan and hold yourself accountable to.
I'm a 44 year old Christian man, married for 23 years to the most beautiful, God honoring women I know. We have been blessed with a 17 year old daughter who is my influence to be great. I believe that if you truly want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat.
Join us at: http://iteambiznet.com
http://iteambiz.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-does-it-take-to-succeed-today.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steven_Conn
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD.....KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
The Leadership Knowledge You Will Need to Succeed in the Years Ahead.............
By Leonard Buchholz
On the cusp of a new presidency it's wise to recognize that Leadership is a privilege earned and one that any Leader must seek for themselves. And in order to be a Leader, one must have knowledge.
Abe Lincoln wrote "There is but one wealth, one security on this earth and that is found in the ability of a person to perform a task well. And first and foremost this ability must start with knowledge."
These words ring true even today, over a 100 years later.
So, what knowledge will be important to today's Leaders tomorrow? And the next year?
The knowledge to communicate and communicate assertively. This knowledge is not dependent on a persons desire to subjugate others, rather it is based on the desire to get things done in an orderly and efficient manner. When we communicate effectively it breeds confidence in the Leader and in the team. Without it, teams function poorly, if at all.
The knowledge of self discipline. This knowledge is one persons individual recognition that in order to get where they want to go they might have to give up immediate pleasure and pride in order to realize substantial professional and personal gains. And, they give up this immediacy willingly.
The knowledge of emotional behaviors. Humans are emotional and this emotion drives nearly every behavior. Leaders who are not studying these natural forces of man are missing the area of greatest influence they have over man and woman alike. The man or woman who recognizes the power of emotional behaviors and makes it a cornerstone of their Leadership will by far be the strongest Leader in any organization.
The knowledge of Management. Just like the words "Leader" and "Manager" are different, so too is the skill set for each. The best description is one attributed to both Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis. "Management is doing things right; Leadership is doing the right things." Not having knowledge of how Management works is just plain dangerous to your career and others.
The knowledge of strategic planning. The ability to plan is highly prized. It is a mixture of information gathering, reasoning and forecasting. It is factually based. It is not "fortune telling" although every great Leader has had some ability in this area. Strategic planning is making sure the future happens.
The knowledge of organization. Leaders and Managers are constantly organizing people, products, resources, budgets, facilities and support. The Leader who masters this organization process will consistently outperform other Leaders because he or she will have anything they need in order to Lead at their fingertips.
The knowledge of self education. Although not a real skill set, Leaders who are not practicing self education will soon find themselves behind, outpaced and eventually replaced. The Leader who is continually upgrading themselves is the Leader in front. This one area is often one neglected. The biggest reason...time.
Let me ask you a qualifying question. Are you working with Windows 95 on your computer? Of course not, so why would it be ok to be a Leader without upgrading your knowledge?
Be like Abe Lincoln and get the knowledge you need.
Sign up here http://www.bizprotraining.com/signup.html for Newsletters in Leadership, Management and Customer Service and receive a Best Practices E-book free!
Contact Leonard at leonard@bizprotraining.com or call 760-529-5635
Leading Seminars in Leadership, Management and Customer Service since 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leonard_Buchholz
By Leonard Buchholz
On the cusp of a new presidency it's wise to recognize that Leadership is a privilege earned and one that any Leader must seek for themselves. And in order to be a Leader, one must have knowledge.
Abe Lincoln wrote "There is but one wealth, one security on this earth and that is found in the ability of a person to perform a task well. And first and foremost this ability must start with knowledge."
These words ring true even today, over a 100 years later.
So, what knowledge will be important to today's Leaders tomorrow? And the next year?
The knowledge to communicate and communicate assertively. This knowledge is not dependent on a persons desire to subjugate others, rather it is based on the desire to get things done in an orderly and efficient manner. When we communicate effectively it breeds confidence in the Leader and in the team. Without it, teams function poorly, if at all.
The knowledge of self discipline. This knowledge is one persons individual recognition that in order to get where they want to go they might have to give up immediate pleasure and pride in order to realize substantial professional and personal gains. And, they give up this immediacy willingly.
The knowledge of emotional behaviors. Humans are emotional and this emotion drives nearly every behavior. Leaders who are not studying these natural forces of man are missing the area of greatest influence they have over man and woman alike. The man or woman who recognizes the power of emotional behaviors and makes it a cornerstone of their Leadership will by far be the strongest Leader in any organization.
The knowledge of Management. Just like the words "Leader" and "Manager" are different, so too is the skill set for each. The best description is one attributed to both Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis. "Management is doing things right; Leadership is doing the right things." Not having knowledge of how Management works is just plain dangerous to your career and others.
The knowledge of strategic planning. The ability to plan is highly prized. It is a mixture of information gathering, reasoning and forecasting. It is factually based. It is not "fortune telling" although every great Leader has had some ability in this area. Strategic planning is making sure the future happens.
The knowledge of organization. Leaders and Managers are constantly organizing people, products, resources, budgets, facilities and support. The Leader who masters this organization process will consistently outperform other Leaders because he or she will have anything they need in order to Lead at their fingertips.
The knowledge of self education. Although not a real skill set, Leaders who are not practicing self education will soon find themselves behind, outpaced and eventually replaced. The Leader who is continually upgrading themselves is the Leader in front. This one area is often one neglected. The biggest reason...time.
Let me ask you a qualifying question. Are you working with Windows 95 on your computer? Of course not, so why would it be ok to be a Leader without upgrading your knowledge?
Be like Abe Lincoln and get the knowledge you need.
Sign up here http://www.bizprotraining.com/signup.html for Newsletters in Leadership, Management and Customer Service and receive a Best Practices E-book free!
Contact Leonard at leonard@bizprotraining.com or call 760-529-5635
Leading Seminars in Leadership, Management and Customer Service since 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leonard_Buchholz
Sunday, March 08, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD...IT'S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD
Make It Your Destiny to Accomplish Great Things in Your Life
By Hani Al-qasem
From this moment on, choose not to let your past dictate your future. What is gone is gone - forever. Now is the time to move on, to do and become what you want: to be the best in any area that you choose, so you may design your own destiny.
Here are a few helpful suggestions that you may take on board, and below you will find a couple of simple tips that can quickly move you in the direction of manifesting your destiny to accomplish many great things in your life.
To join ranks with the most successful people in the field of your choice, or merely to achieve your dreams quietly, for yourself, you will need to take the journey toward a better more enlightened future; toward a more empowered and motivated you, toward a life that you will design and achieve. You will live your life as you want it. And you will become that person you have been dreaming of becoming.
Invest in life - in your life. No more wavering dreams, staring out the window and wishing and hoping. No more sleepless nights worrying about your future as you only see where you are now.
This time it is for real. What you are dreaming of will happen, and in abundance. From today, you will move forward in your life in a dramatic way. You will do what is required of you to accomplish your daily goals, big and small, and you will always expect to succeed at everything you do.
Embrace your unlimited power and build a life of excellence. Success is your one and only option. Fill all of your days with accomplishments, no matter how small you may think they are. It is important, at this point, to realise that most successes stem from your ability to feel certain that you can set out to achieve what it is that you desire - to accomplish great things in your life. And for you to feel certain, you need to become confident.
One of the principle prerequisites to achieving almost anything in life is confidence. Confidence is an indispensable requirement to your success and further development or betterment, be it for your personal or professional needs. Confidence is the doorway to success and fulfillment. With confidence you will have the courage, strength and motivation to tackle and overcome all life's setbacks and challenges.
The great news is that confidence is a learned skill, and anyone can learn the skills to having awesome and unstoppable confidence.
As promised, here are just a couple of confidence tips that I believe are easy to do and are extremely effective. By repeating the simple tips daily, they will retrain your thinking and become an automatic part of your new successful and confident habit. They will become your new way of life.
Challenge your thoughts that have been holding you back and stretch your mind to raise your limits to unlimited heights.
• At the end of each day, put yourself into a confident and resourceful state of mind by jotting down in your diary or daily journal, all of the day's achievements, no matter how small.
Benefit: The mere act of writing them down reinforces the idea of success and confidence. It is extremely beneficial and motivating for you to feel the successes from deep within so your mind acknowledges them as confident achievements.
• Just before going to bed, conceive and initiate your ideal day. Once you have gone through your diary and planned your next day, sit back and take a few minutes to imagine and visualise the entire day, from beginning to end. See it unfolding exactly how you would want it to be, in every situation. Feel the confident emotions that come from success, with the feeling that you have accomplished all that you wanted.
Benefit: When you go to sleep, your unconscious mind will work all night on ways to bring about that which you have just visualised.
Truly make it your destiny to accomplish many great things in your lifetime by adopting a vital ingredient to success, and that is confidence. With confidence you discard worry, hesitation and fear. With confidence you rise above challenges and failures. With confidence you have unlimited motivation and unrelenting persistence.
Do not underestimate the immense power of confidence. Go ahead, reap the rewards and accomplish many great things in your lifetime.
A passionate blogger, Hani Al-qasem co-authored the e-book 'Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps'. Hani's aim is to help and inspire 7 million, or more, adults and children to be the best that they can be through his writing. He enjoys and contributes to the personal growth of others through his writing primarily from his experience and knowledge. Discover how you can improve your self-confidence by visiting http://www.self-confidence-building.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Hani_Al-qasem
Sunday, March 01, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD.......KEEP YOUR ATTITUDE SHARP
Stuck in a Rut? Nine Simple Ways to End Boredom and Feel Reenergized
By Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Annette@AnnetteColby.com or www.AnnetteColby.com
Ever feel stuck in a rut and not sure about how to get out? If so, you’re not alone. It’s easy to get bored in the comfort of doing the same things in the same way at the same time. Here are nine simple and practical ideas to get out of a boring routine, and back into the enjoyment of life.
1. Conscious BreathIt all starts with breath! Conscious breath. Taking a conscious breath relaxes and energizes. Breath after breath, real life comes forth again. It brings you back into into the present moment, out from the past, and out from the future. In the here and now, breath brings energy, relaxation, and clarity. Breath in deeply, slowly, and consciously, and exhale. Do it again! Feel the difference?
2. Do Something You Aren’t Doing NowIt’s easy to get into a rut with the same uninspiring routine every day. You get up out of the same side of the bed, shower and wash your body parts in the same order, drive to work on the same route, then come home to watch television on the same spot on the sofa every There is an easy way out. Do something you aren’t doing now. Do something different! Something big, something small, something silly, something out of the ordinary. Wear one black sock and one red sock. Wash your feet before you wash your hair. Hold your tongue instead of bickering with your spouse. Take a walk to the neighborhood grocery store instead of driving. Do one thing different and make a positive difference in your life today life.
3. Talk to Yourself LovinglySelf-talk tends to gravitate toward the negative. This self-critical self-talk rut can rob you of your enthusiasm for your dreams and leave you feeling less confident. It’s not necessary to control your negative thoughts or to only think positive ones. Instead, look into the mirror regularly, focus on what you’re doing right, and speak constructively to yourself. Realistic constructive self-talk can reduce stress, leave you feeling more capable, and help you put more enjoyment into your life.
4. Love Your BodyIt’s easy to fall into a routine of neglecting, mistreating, or even hating your body. No matter what your weight or health, do something radically different today. Walk on over to the nearest mirror and have a real conversation with your body. Tell it what a great job it’s been doing of helping you go through the experience of life. And no matter how much abuse or neglect you’ve put it through, it’s still done its best to give you a home to live in.
5. Stop ComplainingComplaining about how things are is an easy habit to fall into. But complaining doesn’t resolve a situation. And deep down it doesn’t provide much satisfaction. Next time you find yourself complaining, take a breath and switch your focus to something that is going right or well in your world. What you give your attention and focus to will grow.
6. Get OutsideHave you been hibernating indoors? Too many hours sitting behind your computer or in front of the television? The average person spends about 90% of their times indoors. Staying indoors for too long can leave you bored, not to mention unhealthy. Fresh air, sunshine, and natural scenery provide peace, relaxation, greater psychological resilience, and stimulation of all your senses. No matter what the weather is, get geared up and head outside into nature. Sharpened senses, psychological health, and greater connection to your spirit will all get you out of the rut.
7. Clean the ClutterGet your energy moving by taking a good look at your environment. Clutter drains your energy and can leave you feeling uninspired. Are your closets stuffed with too many clothes and shoes? Are your kitchen pantry, shelves, and drawers filled with old boxes of food, stacks of unorganized Tupperware, and trashy catchall drawers? Is your office overflowing with piles of magazines, stacks of paper, and unfiled receipts? It’s never easy to start cleaning your clutter. To avoid overwhelm, take fifteen minutes every day to tackle one area. When the time is up, just leave it until the next day. You’ll feel successful and your clutter will be gone in no time at all. Think of all the energy you’ll free up to enjoy life!
8. RedecorateGive your life a much needed lift by redecorating your living or working space. How about painting the walls a new color? Vibrant colors can leave you feeling invigorated and enthusiastic. Don’t feel like painting? Rearrange the furniture and rotate the pictures on the walls. Rearranging furniture is one of the easiest ways to feel refreshed. Rearranging brings variety, clears energy, and helps you sort things out in your head.
9. Define Fun It’s a big world out there and there’s so many ways to have fun. And so many definitions of fun. Where do you find fun? Is it being creative, being alone, being in good company, enjoying the fresh air, laughing, going on an adventure, or perhaps trying something new? Write down your list of ideas, activities, and actions that bring the fun back into your life. Then go out and have some fun!
By Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Annette@AnnetteColby.com or www.AnnetteColby.com
Ever feel stuck in a rut and not sure about how to get out? If so, you’re not alone. It’s easy to get bored in the comfort of doing the same things in the same way at the same time. Here are nine simple and practical ideas to get out of a boring routine, and back into the enjoyment of life.
1. Conscious BreathIt all starts with breath! Conscious breath. Taking a conscious breath relaxes and energizes. Breath after breath, real life comes forth again. It brings you back into into the present moment, out from the past, and out from the future. In the here and now, breath brings energy, relaxation, and clarity. Breath in deeply, slowly, and consciously, and exhale. Do it again! Feel the difference?
2. Do Something You Aren’t Doing NowIt’s easy to get into a rut with the same uninspiring routine every day. You get up out of the same side of the bed, shower and wash your body parts in the same order, drive to work on the same route, then come home to watch television on the same spot on the sofa every There is an easy way out. Do something you aren’t doing now. Do something different! Something big, something small, something silly, something out of the ordinary. Wear one black sock and one red sock. Wash your feet before you wash your hair. Hold your tongue instead of bickering with your spouse. Take a walk to the neighborhood grocery store instead of driving. Do one thing different and make a positive difference in your life today life.
3. Talk to Yourself LovinglySelf-talk tends to gravitate toward the negative. This self-critical self-talk rut can rob you of your enthusiasm for your dreams and leave you feeling less confident. It’s not necessary to control your negative thoughts or to only think positive ones. Instead, look into the mirror regularly, focus on what you’re doing right, and speak constructively to yourself. Realistic constructive self-talk can reduce stress, leave you feeling more capable, and help you put more enjoyment into your life.
4. Love Your BodyIt’s easy to fall into a routine of neglecting, mistreating, or even hating your body. No matter what your weight or health, do something radically different today. Walk on over to the nearest mirror and have a real conversation with your body. Tell it what a great job it’s been doing of helping you go through the experience of life. And no matter how much abuse or neglect you’ve put it through, it’s still done its best to give you a home to live in.
5. Stop ComplainingComplaining about how things are is an easy habit to fall into. But complaining doesn’t resolve a situation. And deep down it doesn’t provide much satisfaction. Next time you find yourself complaining, take a breath and switch your focus to something that is going right or well in your world. What you give your attention and focus to will grow.
6. Get OutsideHave you been hibernating indoors? Too many hours sitting behind your computer or in front of the television? The average person spends about 90% of their times indoors. Staying indoors for too long can leave you bored, not to mention unhealthy. Fresh air, sunshine, and natural scenery provide peace, relaxation, greater psychological resilience, and stimulation of all your senses. No matter what the weather is, get geared up and head outside into nature. Sharpened senses, psychological health, and greater connection to your spirit will all get you out of the rut.
7. Clean the ClutterGet your energy moving by taking a good look at your environment. Clutter drains your energy and can leave you feeling uninspired. Are your closets stuffed with too many clothes and shoes? Are your kitchen pantry, shelves, and drawers filled with old boxes of food, stacks of unorganized Tupperware, and trashy catchall drawers? Is your office overflowing with piles of magazines, stacks of paper, and unfiled receipts? It’s never easy to start cleaning your clutter. To avoid overwhelm, take fifteen minutes every day to tackle one area. When the time is up, just leave it until the next day. You’ll feel successful and your clutter will be gone in no time at all. Think of all the energy you’ll free up to enjoy life!
8. RedecorateGive your life a much needed lift by redecorating your living or working space. How about painting the walls a new color? Vibrant colors can leave you feeling invigorated and enthusiastic. Don’t feel like painting? Rearrange the furniture and rotate the pictures on the walls. Rearranging furniture is one of the easiest ways to feel refreshed. Rearranging brings variety, clears energy, and helps you sort things out in your head.
9. Define Fun It’s a big world out there and there’s so many ways to have fun. And so many definitions of fun. Where do you find fun? Is it being creative, being alone, being in good company, enjoying the fresh air, laughing, going on an adventure, or perhaps trying something new? Write down your list of ideas, activities, and actions that bring the fun back into your life. Then go out and have some fun!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD.....BUT IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY
You Must Deal With Negative Emotions to Have the Most Success
By Sean R Mize
Many people are unable to or do not want to recognize their negative emotions. Perhaps they have never learnt of positive ways in which they can manage them. As a result, they cope with these feelings in different ways. Some just try to deny them or shut them down completely by using cigarettes or alcohol or through eating, even not eating. Some act on their emotions almost spontaneously, saying or doing things that they come to regret later. None of these reactions ever leads to positive outcomes.
The first thing you have to realize is that while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can certainly control your response to the situation. You can learn to stay calm and manage your feelings. Many a times, your response is based on your interpretation of an event and this can be very different in a time when you are feeling self-confident and good about yourself while it will be very different in a time when you are feeling very low. As a result, you have to control the thoughts that any event will trigger and the kind of conclusions that you may draw about the event, especially if it is related to your sense of self-worth. One should always remember that our emotions also help us to deal with different situations. When you experience any kind of emotional response, you need to be able to respond to it positively. The only way you can do that is if you know what situation triggers what kind of emotional response in you and to what degree; and how you would like to be prepared to handle them.
The four core emotions that everyone is affected by are anger, sadness, fear and joy. If you understand what your reactions are and work on moderating them as well as managing them, you will feel more in control of yourself and more confident of handling various situations. Let us understand what each one of these emotions is, how each one of these emotions helps us and where they may tend to harm us.
By the way, do you want to learn how to sell high ticket classes and coaching programs via the internet?
Download my new recording: "How to Sell High Ticket Products Online" here: High Ticket Selling Secrets
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sean Mize teaches coaches, consultants, and small business owners how to package their knowledge and sell it in high priced coaching, consulting, and online class packages. Sean says "If you have an existing marketable service or skill that you can teach others, I can teach you to package it into a high-priced class or coaching program, guaranteed" Visit Sean at: Internet Marketing Coaching
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sean_R_Mize
By Sean R Mize
Many people are unable to or do not want to recognize their negative emotions. Perhaps they have never learnt of positive ways in which they can manage them. As a result, they cope with these feelings in different ways. Some just try to deny them or shut them down completely by using cigarettes or alcohol or through eating, even not eating. Some act on their emotions almost spontaneously, saying or doing things that they come to regret later. None of these reactions ever leads to positive outcomes.
The first thing you have to realize is that while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can certainly control your response to the situation. You can learn to stay calm and manage your feelings. Many a times, your response is based on your interpretation of an event and this can be very different in a time when you are feeling self-confident and good about yourself while it will be very different in a time when you are feeling very low. As a result, you have to control the thoughts that any event will trigger and the kind of conclusions that you may draw about the event, especially if it is related to your sense of self-worth. One should always remember that our emotions also help us to deal with different situations. When you experience any kind of emotional response, you need to be able to respond to it positively. The only way you can do that is if you know what situation triggers what kind of emotional response in you and to what degree; and how you would like to be prepared to handle them.
The four core emotions that everyone is affected by are anger, sadness, fear and joy. If you understand what your reactions are and work on moderating them as well as managing them, you will feel more in control of yourself and more confident of handling various situations. Let us understand what each one of these emotions is, how each one of these emotions helps us and where they may tend to harm us.
By the way, do you want to learn how to sell high ticket classes and coaching programs via the internet?
Download my new recording: "How to Sell High Ticket Products Online" here: High Ticket Selling Secrets
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sean Mize teaches coaches, consultants, and small business owners how to package their knowledge and sell it in high priced coaching, consulting, and online class packages. Sean says "If you have an existing marketable service or skill that you can teach others, I can teach you to package it into a high-priced class or coaching program, guaranteed" Visit Sean at: Internet Marketing Coaching
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sean_R_Mize
Friday, February 13, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD .....THE OTHER SIDE IS NOT BAD
The Light in the Dark
By Anastasia Netri
In these times, many of us find ourselves overloaded with self help techniques and information. It is a wonderful time, and there are many people right now that are feeling more powerful than ever before because of all that is available. Most self help strategies center around one particular idea: think positive and achieve positive results.
I went through an experience recently that compels me to share with you another aspect of the self - improvement (or self-realization if you prefer) journey. An aspect that is too often not discussed by experts in the field of self help and spirituality, and feared by many. I invite you now to go there with me today. Let's talk about the "Dark Side".
The dark side, referred to as "The Pain Body" by Eckart Tolle, is something that exists within each of us. There are many theories as to why we have a dark side, so pick one that works for you. I have a few - but so much about the human experience still remains a mystery to me.
This is a delicate article to write, because in order to share my insight, I must first share my experience of how I came to it. As a coach, writer, and speaker, I find myself in new territory here. I am going to have to take you with me to my dark side.
I am generally a positive person. I have worked for a long time to be that way. I even hate to say it, but I have thought that if I go to a negative place in my body or mind that I am failing somehow. If I only was strong enough I wouldn't ever go back to "that place" again. Each time that I do go there and come out, behind the breakthrough is a belief that "now I've got it!" and I don't have to worry about going down again. Then when I feel the negativity coming on, not only have to deal with that pain, but the judgment that somehow I'm doing something wrong, and that's why I'm experiencing this again.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke in a pretty negative state. Not only did I feel bad physically, but there was a lot of judgments and negative thoughts that were in my mind. It felt quite overwhelming. Since I have become more conscious and aware of myself - now I had another interesting aspect I was experiencing. I was watching these feelings take me over, and at the same time feeling totally powerless to stop it. Like there was two of me, one "me" tied to a chair while watching another "me" getting beaten up and verbally abused. The more I tried to do every "technique" I knew how to do, nothing seemed to be working. It just kept getting worse. For the next few days, I found myself physically ill, and in a horrible emotional state. I felt completely hopeless and angry, and had a deep loathing of myself and the world. It was a scary place to be. I remember having thoughts during that experience like, "I've done all this work, and what good is it?"
Being that it was a combination of emotional and physical pain, I had no choice but to stay with it. Distraction was not an option. I felt like I couldn't escape it anyway. So I did. I stayed right there with it. I didn't want to be - I had to be. I felt trapped.
A few days later, as I became aware of my first thoughts in the morning, I noticed some loving ones. I woke up, sat up and bed and realized that it was gone. I felt good and extremely grateful. Funny enough, my feelings of gratitude were not that the feeling was gone - but for the experience itself. I felt a new sense of understanding and compassion. I felt as if I'd just broken through something into a new layer of consciousness, and I had a love inside of me that was not there before. I knew then that it was because of this dark place, and found myself knowing for the first time that the face of God lies in the dark as well as the light.
I began looking at my judgments of myself and the world. I felt much more accepting of myself, others, and saw more beauty in the world than I ever have. I remember feeling that I could relate to certain people in my life more and understand what they were experiencing. I became aware that sometimes my role not only as a friend, but as a coach, will on some occasions just simply be allowing and accepting people in their own dark space. I feel now as if I have much more to offer people in my life, friends and clients alike.
Now I have a perspective of the "dark side", and it is this: When one is on the path to really know their true self, become more conscious, happy, successful - whatever it is, they will have to keep going deeper and deeper into their subconscious, and at some point - a "breakthrough" will be in order. When one "breaks through" a layer, that experience may be an intense one. So, now I know that if I feel a negative experience arising, I may be getting ready to break through something. I feel as if I am more likely to welcome the feeling instead of resisting it, or judging myself for having it.
I believe that what the self help industry is telling us is that we are creating our life, and it is important to have a more positive view of the world if you want your life to be happier. That is completely right. However, it doesn't mean you are NEVER going to have an intense experience or a negative feeling.
What I wish to covey to you is simply this: It is all a PART of the process. If you have a negative feeling, or go to a dark place, it doesn't mean you're failing. You're still on the right track. You may be breaking new ground. Sometimes pain helps us understand a different perspective. Sometimes pain is what causes us to seek the light. Welcoming your entire human experience will bring you much more peace than trying to go through life without going up and down. Even those who are "enlightened" still have energetic ups and downs, but they simply accept them. That's it. It's acceptance of the whole - not being "positive" all the time that is the key to true inner peace.
It's a practice, it may not all happen overnight. I know that now, and as I go out into the world I find opportunities to practice acceptance in just about every given moment. Especially in a situation that pushes my buttons. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. I have faith that over time it will become more and more natural as I continue to practice.
You are beautiful and perfect in all your joy and pain, ups and downs, dark and light. It is all you. It is all part of humanity. I know sometimes it can be a challenge, it is for all of us. Just do the best you can with what you have at the time, and don't give up. There's so much beauty, and it's easier to see when you come into a flower garden straight from the battlefield. Ever notice that?
Anastasia Netri is a Transition Life Coach and the Founder of of Courage For Transition, a coaching company designed help women in career transitions.
If you liked today's article, you'll love Anastasia's dynamic coaching and CD programs to help you through this time in your life with an effective, powerful, yet loving approach.
You can learn more about Anastasia and her coaching programs and products at http://courage4transition.com You may also sign up for her ezine "Tips for Tranquil Transitions" and receive a bonus gift just for signing up!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anastasia_Netri
This article has been viewed 86 time(s).Article Submitted On: January 20, 2009
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD......KNOW THYSELF
Discontent - The Jumping Point For Your Future Success and Happiness
By David Bohl
What does it mean to succeed? The answer is different for everyone. And yet, sometimes our society seems to be set up as if everyone's idea of success is the same as everyone else's - as if we all belong to a single homogeneous parade of human life with identical starting and ending points, and identical needs and desires in between. But nothing could be further from the truth.
What does success look like to you?
Have you ever really thought about it? Or have you just proceeded along the same parade route as everyone else, assuming that since everyone else is going this way, they must know where they're going? Perhaps you've felt from time to time that the whole group seems to have gone the wrong way, or that they're moving at a pace that's too fast or too slow for your needs. But then you figured, since everyone else seems okay with it, maybe it was just you? Well, it's not just you. In fact, all of us have felt this way at one point or another. And if the feeling is strong enough, it can become a jumping off point for a significant life change.
Don't let everyone else tell you what your success should look like and be like. Ask yourself the following questions, and compare your answers against the way you're currently living and the direction you're currently taking in life. You might be surprised by the results.
1. Am I pleased with or excited about my life and the direction it's taking?
If you're doing or headed towards what's really important to you, you'll feel a sense of rightness and excitement that's impossible to mistake. This doesn't mean that life will be all fun and games, of course. But if you wake up every day feeling bored or dreading the day to come, that's a sign that you're going the wrong way.
2. What do I do when I'm left to my own devices?
What are your hobbies, your interests or your obsessions? What is it that pulls your attention away from other tasks? What topics get your heart racing or catch your eyes in the bookstore or newspaper? The things you do when you don't have to be doing anything else (or that you wind up thinking about when you're trying to do something else) are key compass points for finding the direction of your own, true success.
3. What are my values?
What do you believe in? What makes you mad? What stirs you to action? What characteristics do you feel form the core of your self? Take inventory of the values and beliefs that are most important to you, and then compare them to what you're doing. Is your current job/lifestyle/personality a good match, or are you living contrary to or in absence of your beliefs?
4. What is important to me?
Do you really want that house in the suburbs, or does it just seem inevitable? Do you dream of living in a vibrant artistic community, or would you prefer something more sedate and rural? Do you want marriage? Children? Travel? Pets? Money? Power? Or, more importantly, do you feel you "should" want them (a sign of external pressures from others' desires)? Are your current actions leading you closer to or further away from these needs? What can you do to more closely align your desires with your direction?
5. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
If you died today, what would be said about you at your funeral or in your obituary? What change or impression have you created in the world? If you asked your current circle of friends and colleagues to describe you, what would they say? What do you wish they would say? What would you like to leave behind? Look to your answers to see where changes can be made, and reflect on where the gaps lie. These gaps can point to areas where you're not living true to yourself, or they can be evidence of "shoulds" - things you feel you should be doing or believing, but don't really want to.
The answers to these questions will provide you with a basic road map for true success. Like wearing another's clothes or pretending to be someone we're not, chasing after success that doesn't really match our needs or desires is uncomfortable and fraught with struggle. It doesn't "fit." Finding the right fit for success in your life is the key to finally breaking free of the one-size-fits-all parade and learning to dance to the beat of your own drum.
Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bohl
By David Bohl
What does it mean to succeed? The answer is different for everyone. And yet, sometimes our society seems to be set up as if everyone's idea of success is the same as everyone else's - as if we all belong to a single homogeneous parade of human life with identical starting and ending points, and identical needs and desires in between. But nothing could be further from the truth.
What does success look like to you?
Have you ever really thought about it? Or have you just proceeded along the same parade route as everyone else, assuming that since everyone else is going this way, they must know where they're going? Perhaps you've felt from time to time that the whole group seems to have gone the wrong way, or that they're moving at a pace that's too fast or too slow for your needs. But then you figured, since everyone else seems okay with it, maybe it was just you? Well, it's not just you. In fact, all of us have felt this way at one point or another. And if the feeling is strong enough, it can become a jumping off point for a significant life change.
Don't let everyone else tell you what your success should look like and be like. Ask yourself the following questions, and compare your answers against the way you're currently living and the direction you're currently taking in life. You might be surprised by the results.
1. Am I pleased with or excited about my life and the direction it's taking?
If you're doing or headed towards what's really important to you, you'll feel a sense of rightness and excitement that's impossible to mistake. This doesn't mean that life will be all fun and games, of course. But if you wake up every day feeling bored or dreading the day to come, that's a sign that you're going the wrong way.
2. What do I do when I'm left to my own devices?
What are your hobbies, your interests or your obsessions? What is it that pulls your attention away from other tasks? What topics get your heart racing or catch your eyes in the bookstore or newspaper? The things you do when you don't have to be doing anything else (or that you wind up thinking about when you're trying to do something else) are key compass points for finding the direction of your own, true success.
3. What are my values?
What do you believe in? What makes you mad? What stirs you to action? What characteristics do you feel form the core of your self? Take inventory of the values and beliefs that are most important to you, and then compare them to what you're doing. Is your current job/lifestyle/personality a good match, or are you living contrary to or in absence of your beliefs?
4. What is important to me?
Do you really want that house in the suburbs, or does it just seem inevitable? Do you dream of living in a vibrant artistic community, or would you prefer something more sedate and rural? Do you want marriage? Children? Travel? Pets? Money? Power? Or, more importantly, do you feel you "should" want them (a sign of external pressures from others' desires)? Are your current actions leading you closer to or further away from these needs? What can you do to more closely align your desires with your direction?
5. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
If you died today, what would be said about you at your funeral or in your obituary? What change or impression have you created in the world? If you asked your current circle of friends and colleagues to describe you, what would they say? What do you wish they would say? What would you like to leave behind? Look to your answers to see where changes can be made, and reflect on where the gaps lie. These gaps can point to areas where you're not living true to yourself, or they can be evidence of "shoulds" - things you feel you should be doing or believing, but don't really want to.
The answers to these questions will provide you with a basic road map for true success. Like wearing another's clothes or pretending to be someone we're not, chasing after success that doesn't really match our needs or desires is uncomfortable and fraught with struggle. It doesn't "fit." Finding the right fit for success in your life is the key to finally breaking free of the one-size-fits-all parade and learning to dance to the beat of your own drum.
Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bohl
Friday, January 09, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD......IT WILL BE OK
How to Overcome Insurmountable Challenges
By Annette Colby
Years ago, I realized that our most difficult personal challenges offer a unique opportunity to raise our sights, explore new potentials and possibilities, and cast off beliefs of limitation and doubt. Personal challenges are a way of working things out for ourselves and discovering new creative approaches for old problems.
It's tempting to view personal challenges, such as depression, eating disorders, addictions, or weight issues as an illness or disease that must be fought or medicated, or as a shameful inner enemy that needs to be conquered. However, an alternate view is that challenges are our personal attempt to rise above inner repression, self-doubt, and insecurity. Rising to life's challenges and overcoming personal obstacles is how we grow into a new higher potential of love and fulfillment.
Although it may feel unfair, an obstacle is not a big test put upon us by the universe. Instead, we are aware of an obstacle only when we have brought ourselves to the edge of our current abilities. While we're standing at the edge, things can certainly look bleak and hopeless. We can feel overwhelmed and desperately wish that someone would wave a magic wand and whisk away all our problems. But if we could see our situation from a higher perspective we could also see that through the challenge we are learning that we can rely on ourselves even in the most difficult of situations.
Personal challenges help us to build a new identity. Through them we discover how to develop empowering self-leadership skills. By necessity, because we eventually try everything else, challenges lead us to reach inside and activate creativity, inner resourcefulness, and wisdom. Personal challenges necessitate that you must dig deeper than you ever thought possible - and what you discover is unexpected reservoirs of confidence, determination, self-esteem, and self-love.
Facing a Dead-End
If you are dealing with depression, addiction, anxiety and panic, an eating disorder, or repeated attempts at weight loss, you are dealing with a major personal challenge. These are the types of challenges that take you to down a long and difficult path... only to one day find yourself facing a dead-end. Not knowing how you can possibly move beyond your problem, you will feel worn out and discouraged, absolutely not knowing how to move forward.
Feelings of hopelessness, ineptitude, unworthiness, or even shame curse through your mind and body. All the negative beliefs you have about your inability to achieve success rise to the surface. You will feel so badly that you will berate yourself for ever thinking you could achieve your goal or overcome your challenge. You'll wish you had never started this stupid journey. However, this dead-end, this place of excruciating self-doubt and agony is exactly the place you need to be right now.
Limiting Beliefs
A dead-end obstacle represents restrictive beliefs you hold about yourself, repressive beliefs about your ability to have what you want, or painful beliefs about life itself. The horrible feelings you are experiencing are not there because you are inadequate, being punished, or undeserving. Instead, because you stepped forward into creating change, the old beliefs that you once held hidden deeply within yourself have now become exposed.
Limiting beliefs are ideas that hold you back and keep you from becoming the person you want to be. Most times limiting beliefs are not true, but because you believe them to be true they act like brakes on your progress. Limiting beliefs can include ideas that some there is some character trait about you that is inescapable or unchangeable.
If you feel that some area of your life isn't the way you want it be, yet you feel hopeless, helpless, or worthless to change it, then you probably have limiting beliefs. Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:
I can't.
I am bad.
I won't succeed, so there's no point in trying.
I lack the ability to achieve my goal.
I can't have what I want.
I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve what I want.
I'm afraid of success.
Exposing the Land of Limitation
If you are facing an obstacle, don't stop now. Although you would rather not be facing such difficulty, it is important that you keep going. Generally our limiting beliefs are hidden away - out of mind and out of sight. But because of your personal challenge you took risks and tried new actions. You wanted to see if you could move beyond your current reality.
Your actions led you to discover that so far you cannot have success, you cannot have what you want. And this is the point of your journey, to bring to the surface your limiting beliefs, your emotional resistance, and all the reasons why you believe you can't have what you most want. Your challenge or goal is showing you the difference between the current reality that you live in and the reality that you want to live in. Something would have to be different... and that something is you.
Feelings Speak About What Is - Not What Can Be
You may not recognize your exact limiting belief, but when you are facing an obstacle you almost always can feel the energy that goes with your belief. Sometimes a limiting belief will make you feel anxious or angry. Other times you may feel overwhelmed, irritated, lethargic, or even depressed. If you're feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are about to collapse in front of your goal, chances are you are in direct contact with a limiting belief.
What's the solution? Take a breath, don't run away from what you are feeling, and be willing to admit consciously what you believe to be true about you or your ability to navigate through this situation. As your beliefs rise to the surface, they will bring with them a plethora of difficult emotions. These emotions tell you what you currently believe about who you are and what you can be.
A New Potential Reality
There is the potential of a happier, brighter, more expansive reality beyond your obstacle. Yet, there's a catch. That reality doesn't exist yet. It has to be imagined, created, and allowed first - by you. To get to the other side of the obstacle requires envisioning yourself living the type of life you want to be living, and gaining new beliefs that will support you living that life. That's the purpose of your challenge. You're not fighting against what you don't want, you are in the process of choosing the life you want to live, and then building the self-supportive beliefs necessary to allow you to live that life. If you are facing an obstacle, back up and examine your challenge. Why you want what you want, and what strengths you will gain by creating that success in your life?
How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Many of our limiting beliefs are stubborn, deeply entrenched, and feel unbearable. Yet to get beyond your challenge requires facing your current beliefs about life, others, and yourself, and seeing where those beliefs limit and hold you back. Instead of turning back in defeat or pushing relentlessly against an unmovable wall, decide to get acquainted with your beliefs.
Becoming aware of limiting beliefs is typically challenging, since beliefs tend to remain hidden in our subconscious. But if you are attempting to overcome a personal challenge, then you are in luck! With every new action you take, your fears and limiting beliefs are bound to rise up out of hiding. When they do, you can calmly ask yourself these questions:
What exactly are you telling yourself when the situation seems unachievable?
What do you feel to be true about yourself when you are facing a dead-end?
Why is your goal unattainable?
What skills do you lack to attain it?
Why don't you deserve to achieve your goal?
How does this belief keep you safe?
What benefit do you get from holding this belief?
Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It's a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs. To overcome your self-limiting beliefs, examine the beliefs you hold. Question their validity. Journal about them. Take a conscious look at them, and decide if those beliefs are really the ones you want to hold in your future. And then take action to replace them with better ones.
Dr. Annette Colby can show you how to fall in love with who you really are, how to trust your true feelings, and how to create harmony with your mind, body, and spirit to create a new sense of purpose and passion. Learn how with a FREE subscription to Loving Miracles weekly newsletter. Sign-up now at http://www.AnnetteColby.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Annette_Colby
Friday, December 26, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......IT'S NEVER TO LATE
For Christmas Week - Things I Wish I Had Said
By Jerry Elrod
There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Although I am a senior citizen living happily in retirement, I cannot claim memory issues about what I didn't say. Rather, I must admit to unthoughtful or neglectful behavior. Not a happy thought, so here are a few things I wish I had told you.
I wish I had said "I APPRECIATE YOU" more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn't it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.
I wish I had said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when I didn't. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.
I wish I had said "I CARE." There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those "down days" when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn't have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.
I wish I had said "FORGIVE ME." Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.
I wish I had said "HOW ARE YOU" and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.
I wish I had said "TELL ME ABOUT IT" when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.
I wish I had said "THANK YOU" for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn't say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.
I wish I had said "I MISS YOU." Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.
I wish I had said "I LOVE YOU." Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.
I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have; I think most of us senior citizens know how to be kind and compassionate. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: "HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE."
Article provided by Dr. Jerry D. Elrod. For information on retirement, Baby Boomers and everything related to Seniors, please visit my blog at http://seniorcitizenjournal.blogspot.com
By Jerry Elrod
There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Although I am a senior citizen living happily in retirement, I cannot claim memory issues about what I didn't say. Rather, I must admit to unthoughtful or neglectful behavior. Not a happy thought, so here are a few things I wish I had told you.
I wish I had said "I APPRECIATE YOU" more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn't it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.
I wish I had said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when I didn't. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.
I wish I had said "I CARE." There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those "down days" when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn't have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.
I wish I had said "FORGIVE ME." Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.
I wish I had said "HOW ARE YOU" and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.
I wish I had said "TELL ME ABOUT IT" when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.
I wish I had said "THANK YOU" for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn't say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.
I wish I had said "I MISS YOU." Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.
I wish I had said "I LOVE YOU." Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.
I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have; I think most of us senior citizens know how to be kind and compassionate. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: "HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE."
Article provided by Dr. Jerry D. Elrod. For information on retirement, Baby Boomers and everything related to Seniors, please visit my blog at http://seniorcitizenjournal.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 11, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......JUST DO IT
Action - The Critical Ingredient For Achieving Anything in Life
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joi_Sigers
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
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