CHECK THIS OUT . . . IT'S SAFE . . . IT'S ON YOUTUBE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ
REGARDS
BARRY
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE
How to Avoid Family Conflict Over the Holidays
BY Dr. SHARON MELNICK
Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays probably mean get togethers with your family of origin (or even more loaded: with those of your spouse!)
While there are many comforts and joys of spending time withyour extended family, sometimes it can mean interacting withpeople who control, frustrate, criticize, or burden you. With all the stresses you are facing this year, cross'family conflict' off your list with the followingperspectives:
What is the "real reason" you are aggravated with adifficult family member? You wish your difficult familymember could just "get it" and behave differently in theirown life and towards you. Their behavior may legitimatelytake up a lot of time or show insensitivity to you. Butknow that you are angry with them because you are hoping andexpecting that they will be more evolved than they are atthis point. You are hoping that one of these times theywill give you the validation you richly deserve (but theyare likely incapable of.) When you say to yourself thatthey should be different or vent to a confidant about "whydo they do that?", you are hoping that they will heed youradvisement and magically do it differently next time. Youare 'living in hope'.
As soon as you accept that they are "where they are on theirjourney" (and so are you), you know it is not fruitful totry to change them. As long as you are hoping andexpecting they will be different, you can continue to act inyour same patterns and expect the change to come from them. Even though its painful for you to standby and watchsomeone you care about not be happy, you must appreciatepart of you wants them to act differently in order for youto feel at ease or comfortable with yourself and yoursituation. The answer of course is to focus on your 50%. To the extent that you can feel 'good in you' no matter howyour family members are acting out of their limitations, youwill no longer be aggravated by them.
Why are family members so difficult? Usually people are"difficult" because they are going about getting their needsmet in the only way they know how. The way they can feelpowerful and good in themselves is by controlling things,situations, and people - they are not able to feel good byconnecting meaningfully with you for who you really are andthey are not able to see you as separate from how they needto see you in their own mind in order to feel good aboutthemselves. If you have more effective and diverse ways ofgetting what you need (good for you!), you probably seetheir limited approaches as unreasonable. Instead ofbeing annoyed by them, separate yourself from needinganything from them.
How can you make family interactions more harmonious? Thereare many things that you can do to take responsibility foryour part of the interaction. Some examples include:-
-Know exactly what you want from the situation so youcan ask for it instead of hoping they will read your mind.
-See it from their point of view, make them feelunderstood, and phrase your requests to them in terms thatmotivate them (and don't just assume because you wantsomething they will want to be that way for you.)
-Do things that are easy for you to do that help them get theirneeds met even in their rigid ways. For example, showappreciation to a narcissistic person and make them feelspecial. If it means acting out of integrity for you,don't go along with them. Let a narcissistic, controlling,or off- color person know your limits. Tell them you in aneutral, respectful tone that you don't tolerate thatbehavior, and that you will talk to them or spend time withthem when they are not acting that way (then walk away andcome back later).
-Make sure your communication is clear and respectful,reducing the chance you will be misinterpreted- Articulate more precisely the kind of support, love,and cooperation you can get from difficult family membersand what you wish you could get but will realistically notbe able to get. Only interact with them around the former.
-Focus effectively on nurturing yourself and initiatingmeaningful connections that will bring fulfillment in yourcurrent life - so you are less vulnerable to others makingyou feel bad.
-Instead of focusing on the unrealizedharmony within your family, be grateful for the familymembers who are alive and in a state of reasonable health; be grateful for all the ways that you and your familymembers have been resilient to the current challengingtimes.
How can you deal with your spouse who falls back into a role in their family? If your spouse reverts to someone you don'trecognize when with their family, it's not an opportunity for criticism. Rather, appreciate that there is still apart of them that is stuck believing it's the only way theywill be loved by the people they invested with such hope togive them their 'emotional oxygen'. What you can do is'kill them with kindness' to help them trust that they nowhave new ways of being loved by you.
One of the participants in my recent Friction FreeRelationships program said that if she had learned theseskills years ago her life would have been much happier. Ifyou have friction in your work relationships or yourpersonal and family relationships, you can eliminate anytime you spend being frustrated and make interactions gosmoothly and easily. Get these skills for yourself with aspecial Thanksgiving offer of $200 savings.Sharon
Dr. Sharon M. Melnick
(O) 212.842.4638
sharon@sharonmelnick.com
Follow me on Twitter: DrSharonMelnick
1230 Ave. of the Americas, 7th Floor
New York, NY 10020 United States
BY Dr. SHARON MELNICK
Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays probably mean get togethers with your family of origin (or even more loaded: with those of your spouse!)
While there are many comforts and joys of spending time withyour extended family, sometimes it can mean interacting withpeople who control, frustrate, criticize, or burden you. With all the stresses you are facing this year, cross'family conflict' off your list with the followingperspectives:
What is the "real reason" you are aggravated with adifficult family member? You wish your difficult familymember could just "get it" and behave differently in theirown life and towards you. Their behavior may legitimatelytake up a lot of time or show insensitivity to you. Butknow that you are angry with them because you are hoping andexpecting that they will be more evolved than they are atthis point. You are hoping that one of these times theywill give you the validation you richly deserve (but theyare likely incapable of.) When you say to yourself thatthey should be different or vent to a confidant about "whydo they do that?", you are hoping that they will heed youradvisement and magically do it differently next time. Youare 'living in hope'.
As soon as you accept that they are "where they are on theirjourney" (and so are you), you know it is not fruitful totry to change them. As long as you are hoping andexpecting they will be different, you can continue to act inyour same patterns and expect the change to come from them. Even though its painful for you to standby and watchsomeone you care about not be happy, you must appreciatepart of you wants them to act differently in order for youto feel at ease or comfortable with yourself and yoursituation. The answer of course is to focus on your 50%. To the extent that you can feel 'good in you' no matter howyour family members are acting out of their limitations, youwill no longer be aggravated by them.
Why are family members so difficult? Usually people are"difficult" because they are going about getting their needsmet in the only way they know how. The way they can feelpowerful and good in themselves is by controlling things,situations, and people - they are not able to feel good byconnecting meaningfully with you for who you really are andthey are not able to see you as separate from how they needto see you in their own mind in order to feel good aboutthemselves. If you have more effective and diverse ways ofgetting what you need (good for you!), you probably seetheir limited approaches as unreasonable. Instead ofbeing annoyed by them, separate yourself from needinganything from them.
How can you make family interactions more harmonious? Thereare many things that you can do to take responsibility foryour part of the interaction. Some examples include:-
-Know exactly what you want from the situation so youcan ask for it instead of hoping they will read your mind.
-See it from their point of view, make them feelunderstood, and phrase your requests to them in terms thatmotivate them (and don't just assume because you wantsomething they will want to be that way for you.)
-Do things that are easy for you to do that help them get theirneeds met even in their rigid ways. For example, showappreciation to a narcissistic person and make them feelspecial. If it means acting out of integrity for you,don't go along with them. Let a narcissistic, controlling,or off- color person know your limits. Tell them you in aneutral, respectful tone that you don't tolerate thatbehavior, and that you will talk to them or spend time withthem when they are not acting that way (then walk away andcome back later).
-Make sure your communication is clear and respectful,reducing the chance you will be misinterpreted- Articulate more precisely the kind of support, love,and cooperation you can get from difficult family membersand what you wish you could get but will realistically notbe able to get. Only interact with them around the former.
-Focus effectively on nurturing yourself and initiatingmeaningful connections that will bring fulfillment in yourcurrent life - so you are less vulnerable to others makingyou feel bad.
-Instead of focusing on the unrealizedharmony within your family, be grateful for the familymembers who are alive and in a state of reasonable health; be grateful for all the ways that you and your familymembers have been resilient to the current challengingtimes.
How can you deal with your spouse who falls back into a role in their family? If your spouse reverts to someone you don'trecognize when with their family, it's not an opportunity for criticism. Rather, appreciate that there is still apart of them that is stuck believing it's the only way theywill be loved by the people they invested with such hope togive them their 'emotional oxygen'. What you can do is'kill them with kindness' to help them trust that they nowhave new ways of being loved by you.
One of the participants in my recent Friction FreeRelationships program said that if she had learned theseskills years ago her life would have been much happier. Ifyou have friction in your work relationships or yourpersonal and family relationships, you can eliminate anytime you spend being frustrated and make interactions gosmoothly and easily. Get these skills for yourself with aspecial Thanksgiving offer of $200 savings.Sharon
Dr. Sharon M. Melnick
(O) 212.842.4638
sharon@sharonmelnick.com
Follow me on Twitter: DrSharonMelnick
1230 Ave. of the Americas, 7th Floor
New York, NY 10020 United States
Sunday, November 22, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD. . . SUCCESS IS AS EASY AS
When Nothing Seems to Matter, Do Not Give Up, Keep at it
By Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk
It is so much easier not to have to push, all the time. So much more comfortable to take the path of least resistance. I know. I did. I'll tell you about it here.
When I was a child, especially a teenager, I did not get sufficient to eat. Now, please do not hear me to be saying that I starved. I did not. I was nowhere near as bad off some people who live in poverty in this country or elsewhere in the world. My brain-power was not damaged from not having the correct nutrients. (So far as I am aware, I have all reasonable faculties. But others, outside of me, really have to the judge of that. Like you, reading this article.)
But when I look back now, I see that as a growing boy, I did not receive enough to eat. I was bone thin. No excuses about poverty and the like. My family just didn't not understand the need I had for food.
Then, later in life when I was in charge of my own food intake and had the means to be in charge of it, I learned to eat to feel good about myself. Always went to bed with a full stomach. Consequently I became overweight.
Next, I needed to diet in order to keep my weight under control. But the combination of the two, not enough to eat in my youth and developing the habit of eating to feel good, keep it a daily fight.
One of those days I decided I had had enough with the diets. I was just going to eat. In other words, I gave up. The weight went on. Clothes didn't fit; health deteriorated. Now the weight is more of a problem than ever, in terms of getting it off and keeping it off.
My point: when it comes to yourself, do not give up. Keep at it. I would be in much better shape today, physically and mentally, if I had stayed with weight control of some reasonable and substantial kind. Instead, I am way behind in the game. (Or is that weigh behind in the game?)
What is it your want to do? What is you want to be? Don't give up. Keep at it. The path of least resistance will get you in such a downward slide that stopping and reversing becomes so much harder. Harder than if you had struck with the effort in the first place.
So when you are tempted to give up, when you are tempted just to slide through your life, because it seems so hard, don't give up. Keep at it. You'll be so much better off, I promise. I can promised because I have been there, am there, and it "ain't" pretty.
Start in this minute to keep at it.
And when you want more positivity in your life, claim your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source Resource. Just Click Here. You'll get the Force-Source Resource titled "All the Best - You Deserve It." Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. You'll get that info here.
Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk - The "I Know the Meaning of Life" guy.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Robert_Henry_Schwenk
By Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk
It is so much easier not to have to push, all the time. So much more comfortable to take the path of least resistance. I know. I did. I'll tell you about it here.
When I was a child, especially a teenager, I did not get sufficient to eat. Now, please do not hear me to be saying that I starved. I did not. I was nowhere near as bad off some people who live in poverty in this country or elsewhere in the world. My brain-power was not damaged from not having the correct nutrients. (So far as I am aware, I have all reasonable faculties. But others, outside of me, really have to the judge of that. Like you, reading this article.)
But when I look back now, I see that as a growing boy, I did not receive enough to eat. I was bone thin. No excuses about poverty and the like. My family just didn't not understand the need I had for food.
Then, later in life when I was in charge of my own food intake and had the means to be in charge of it, I learned to eat to feel good about myself. Always went to bed with a full stomach. Consequently I became overweight.
Next, I needed to diet in order to keep my weight under control. But the combination of the two, not enough to eat in my youth and developing the habit of eating to feel good, keep it a daily fight.
One of those days I decided I had had enough with the diets. I was just going to eat. In other words, I gave up. The weight went on. Clothes didn't fit; health deteriorated. Now the weight is more of a problem than ever, in terms of getting it off and keeping it off.
My point: when it comes to yourself, do not give up. Keep at it. I would be in much better shape today, physically and mentally, if I had stayed with weight control of some reasonable and substantial kind. Instead, I am way behind in the game. (Or is that weigh behind in the game?)
What is it your want to do? What is you want to be? Don't give up. Keep at it. The path of least resistance will get you in such a downward slide that stopping and reversing becomes so much harder. Harder than if you had struck with the effort in the first place.
So when you are tempted to give up, when you are tempted just to slide through your life, because it seems so hard, don't give up. Keep at it. You'll be so much better off, I promise. I can promised because I have been there, am there, and it "ain't" pretty.
Start in this minute to keep at it.
And when you want more positivity in your life, claim your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source Resource. Just Click Here. You'll get the Force-Source Resource titled "All the Best - You Deserve It." Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. You'll get that info here.
Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk - The "I Know the Meaning of Life" guy.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Robert_Henry_Schwenk
Monday, November 16, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . . .WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ?
What is Your Core Safety Switch That Stops Your Success?
By Joyce Shafer
You can apply what follows to any area of your life where you feel attaining success is a struggle, but let's start with money/wealth/abundance-whatever your word choice is... because money has such highly-charged emotional, self-worth, self-esteem attachments to it.
Let's imagine you don't have the financial situation you'd prefer-but you really want it. You use a variety of methods to assist you: affirmations, visions, vision boards, and so forth. You read and sign up for anything about attaining wealth (or even just easier financial months), whether this is specific business or online strategies or ways to eliminate blocking beliefs about money, success, etc. Whatever the means, you put a lot of hours towards this, including thinking or worrying about it.
And you're still not where you want to be.
Give an honest answer: What kinds of comments do you make to others and in your mind about people with money or wealth?
It probably has something to do with them behaving "badly"-even if you know people with wealth and success who don't demonstrate those behaviors. What you probably don't say is, "People with wealth may have other blocks, but they don't have them about having money."
People who behave "badly" will do so with or without wealth; so, this is a good time for you to separate behaviors from having money. The fact there are people of wealth who behave with integrity and generosity disproves such a blanket statement. Is that separate for you now? Can you see they aren't joined?
If what's described above is your core belief, you will never have wealth. Or, if you get it, you won't keep it or consistently replenish it as you use it.
Because at your core is a safety switch. Its program is likely: "We (you, your family, friends, associates) detest people with money: they behave badly. They (fill in the blank)." Your safety switch will protect you from ever becoming One of Those People. No matter how much you desire it. Once you switch your switch, you'll attract or tune in to strategies and opportunities you have head and heart alignment with; and shift and expansion will happen. It will feel more effortless than you've experienced before. Maybe your switch gets reprogrammed to know and allow, "Financial freedom-whatever that means to me-is fabulous, fun, and allows me full self-expression and fulfillment."
Know that when the shift begins to happen, it will be in the way that supports your personal evolution best, whether that's gradual or more immediate. This mostly depends on how aligned you are with the new program as your truth.
Vernon Howard said, "We are slaves to whatever we don't understand." One of the key things people tend to not understand about any success that is fulfilling is that it has to come from what they truly want to do (are aligned with), makes them feel enthusiastic, and yes, even fun for them.
You're told to put focus on the outcomes you desire. That's good advice because if you do this in the most productive way, you're not focused on what you don't want or have, not living in the past (or the future)-you're living Right Now, which is where your power lives.
The well known phrase, "It's not the destination, it's the journey," can also be stated as, "It's not the outcome, it's the desired experience-in this moment (which creates the next moments)."
I know, I know. You want the outcomes; but the quality of the outcomes will shift and expand if you aim at the desired experience quality-because it takes your focus from primarily on outcomes and puts them where they belong: the energetic creative process and you as the driver of your life. You're conditioned to believe what your experience looks like is more important than being able to consciously create experiences you desire, over and over. When you understand this, you won't be a slave to externals-because you'll know the power comes from you.
Check to see if there's a safety switch that runs contrary to any of this information. And, check what your real Self image is such as
• I can only live a smaller, more circumscribed life (though I desire more)
• If I have more money or wealth, I'll be one of "them" (I'll hate me, others will hate me)
• If I do what really fuels me, others will resent me (what others think is appropriate for me is more important/true than what I think)
• I have to accept whatever is "given" to me in my personal and professional life (the external world has the power; it controls my experiences and outcomes)
• I have to have a certain level of education, know the right people, work my backside off-be "perfect"....
Do you know anyone who lives the opposite of the beliefs listed and not listed above, and is successful and genuinely happy in their life?
Consider how all that's been presented here connects. What's the bigger picture for you? Which core safety switches click into the On position or want to? If the switch doesn't serve you, how will you adjust it so it does?
Stop struggling. Identify and more effortlessly attain your ideal experiences and results with, "Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business," by Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), Life Empowerment Coach and Author. Get 8 FREE life empowerment e-books, and see a list of her books/e-books and services at http://joyceshafer-ebookbundle.webs.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joyce_Shafer
By Joyce Shafer
You can apply what follows to any area of your life where you feel attaining success is a struggle, but let's start with money/wealth/abundance-whatever your word choice is... because money has such highly-charged emotional, self-worth, self-esteem attachments to it.
Let's imagine you don't have the financial situation you'd prefer-but you really want it. You use a variety of methods to assist you: affirmations, visions, vision boards, and so forth. You read and sign up for anything about attaining wealth (or even just easier financial months), whether this is specific business or online strategies or ways to eliminate blocking beliefs about money, success, etc. Whatever the means, you put a lot of hours towards this, including thinking or worrying about it.
And you're still not where you want to be.
Give an honest answer: What kinds of comments do you make to others and in your mind about people with money or wealth?
It probably has something to do with them behaving "badly"-even if you know people with wealth and success who don't demonstrate those behaviors. What you probably don't say is, "People with wealth may have other blocks, but they don't have them about having money."
People who behave "badly" will do so with or without wealth; so, this is a good time for you to separate behaviors from having money. The fact there are people of wealth who behave with integrity and generosity disproves such a blanket statement. Is that separate for you now? Can you see they aren't joined?
If what's described above is your core belief, you will never have wealth. Or, if you get it, you won't keep it or consistently replenish it as you use it.
Because at your core is a safety switch. Its program is likely: "We (you, your family, friends, associates) detest people with money: they behave badly. They (fill in the blank)." Your safety switch will protect you from ever becoming One of Those People. No matter how much you desire it. Once you switch your switch, you'll attract or tune in to strategies and opportunities you have head and heart alignment with; and shift and expansion will happen. It will feel more effortless than you've experienced before. Maybe your switch gets reprogrammed to know and allow, "Financial freedom-whatever that means to me-is fabulous, fun, and allows me full self-expression and fulfillment."
Know that when the shift begins to happen, it will be in the way that supports your personal evolution best, whether that's gradual or more immediate. This mostly depends on how aligned you are with the new program as your truth.
Vernon Howard said, "We are slaves to whatever we don't understand." One of the key things people tend to not understand about any success that is fulfilling is that it has to come from what they truly want to do (are aligned with), makes them feel enthusiastic, and yes, even fun for them.
You're told to put focus on the outcomes you desire. That's good advice because if you do this in the most productive way, you're not focused on what you don't want or have, not living in the past (or the future)-you're living Right Now, which is where your power lives.
The well known phrase, "It's not the destination, it's the journey," can also be stated as, "It's not the outcome, it's the desired experience-in this moment (which creates the next moments)."
I know, I know. You want the outcomes; but the quality of the outcomes will shift and expand if you aim at the desired experience quality-because it takes your focus from primarily on outcomes and puts them where they belong: the energetic creative process and you as the driver of your life. You're conditioned to believe what your experience looks like is more important than being able to consciously create experiences you desire, over and over. When you understand this, you won't be a slave to externals-because you'll know the power comes from you.
Check to see if there's a safety switch that runs contrary to any of this information. And, check what your real Self image is such as
• I can only live a smaller, more circumscribed life (though I desire more)
• If I have more money or wealth, I'll be one of "them" (I'll hate me, others will hate me)
• If I do what really fuels me, others will resent me (what others think is appropriate for me is more important/true than what I think)
• I have to accept whatever is "given" to me in my personal and professional life (the external world has the power; it controls my experiences and outcomes)
• I have to have a certain level of education, know the right people, work my backside off-be "perfect"....
Do you know anyone who lives the opposite of the beliefs listed and not listed above, and is successful and genuinely happy in their life?
Consider how all that's been presented here connects. What's the bigger picture for you? Which core safety switches click into the On position or want to? If the switch doesn't serve you, how will you adjust it so it does?
Stop struggling. Identify and more effortlessly attain your ideal experiences and results with, "Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business," by Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), Life Empowerment Coach and Author. Get 8 FREE life empowerment e-books, and see a list of her books/e-books and services at http://joyceshafer-ebookbundle.webs.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joyce_Shafer
Also see http://www.changebythepeople.com/ for more useful information
Sunday, November 08, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . .CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
How to Bounce Back When Your Mood Plummets
By Lorraine Cohen
Article Word Count: 809 [View Summary] Comments (0)
"Life's weather is but temporary. It's the seasons that really matter. Finding balance in the storm. Life" - Anon
Do you find yourself spiraling downward when something happens that you find upsetting? If you say yes, it's not usual. Many people feel happy when something happens that they want or like and fell unhappy when something unwanted occurs.
Here's an example:
A few years ago I was in a car accident. I had just left my house and I had a few errands to run locally. I admit I tend to drive fast and I noticed the two cars ahead of me had come to a stop. The lead car was waiting for traffic to clear in order to make a left turn. I quickly applied my brakes and saw I would be able to stop safely as I checked my rear view mirror to see who was behind me. It was evident to me that the car behind was also going too fast and was going to hit me. The impact was strong enough to push me across the opposing lane of traffic bounce off of a guardrail before I was able to stop the car.
You might say, "Boy Lorraine, not a good day!" I agree that it wasn't what I wanted my day to be.
The downside? My car was fully paid for and, a week before had undergone major maintenance work. The accident totaled my car.
Some immediate blessings? I was bruised and unhurt and I could have been killed. Apparently, when I was hit and pushed across the road, the lead car had finally made the left turn because there was no traffic. I called a healer friend who came immediately and met me at the hospital (where I was checked out for any injuries). My chiropractor opened his office to do a session.
When I returned home, my spirits were low and I could have begun feeling sorry for myself and bemoan the ramifications of having to get a new car, etc. It was a perfect invitation for my mood to start plummeting.
So what to do when you find yourself focusing on the negative?
Here are 7 ways to shift your mood to a better place:
1. Gratitude. Focusing on all you have in your life is an immediate mood shifter. Honor the losses that might be part of any circumstance and allow your viewpoint to expand in appreciation for all the riches you have that truly matters.
2. Interrupt negative self-talk and choose a better thought to put your attention. Notice where your thoughts are focused. What stories and dramas are you creating? Are they serving to help you feel better or worse? If you're unable to let the stories go and dramas go immediately, exaggerate it BIG. Really act it out and play with it so that it becomes absurd. It might even become funny! Take a stand and choose to put your attention on a better feeling thought. You have that POWER!!!!
3. Accept what happened. Dwelling on the past and ruminating on the details only adds more stress and upset. What we resist, persists. The more we struggle against our unwanted life circumstances the more power we give our unhappiness to affect our present moments. It is what it is. Each moment is temporary and gives birth to the next. Acceptance opens the door to...
4. Look for the blessings. Every situation is a healing and growth opportunity. Asking questions like: What are the gifts from this experience? (Focus on the gratitude). What can I learn from this situation? Recognize everything happens for a reason even if it appears to make no logical sense. Approaching life from this perspective invites greater ease and flow. Looking through the eyes of the Victim or the Champion/Hero/Creator is a choice. Seeing your life experience with appreciations and gratitude invites possibilities to unfold.
5. Ask for help. Reach out to your circle of friends if you need an ear, a hug, a boost or a kick in the butt to get yourself into a healthier mindset. Be willing to receive help and invite the people in your life to be a loving support if you need it!
6. Help someone. Our natural state is one of loving generosity and well-being. Extending support to another can be a great heart lifter in reconnecting us to our spirit.
7. Do something that brings you joy, makes you laugh, and feeds your spirit. A few months ago, my buddy Anita Pathik- Law and I were talking on the phone and we started laughing. The kind of laughter that turns into side-splitting laughter that continued for over 6 minutes. It was hilarious. She recorded it and if I ever need a boost, all I have to do is play it and I start laughing!
Founder of Powerfull-Living, Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen is a spiritual life coach, broadcaster, published writer, and inspirational speaker who is recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field. For over 20 years, Lorraine has inspired and supported thousands of spiritually-conscious business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals, coaches, mentors, and authors to create a prosperous business, meaningfull career and fulfilling life that aligns with their spirit. An expert in transforming fear and limiting beliefs that create barriers to success, she shows people how to get unstuck; to break through the confusion and roadblocks so they move forward in all areas of their life. Receive her free report '5 Secrets to Attracting Everything You Want!"
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lorraine_Cohen
By Lorraine Cohen
Article Word Count: 809 [View Summary] Comments (0)
"Life's weather is but temporary. It's the seasons that really matter. Finding balance in the storm. Life" - Anon
Do you find yourself spiraling downward when something happens that you find upsetting? If you say yes, it's not usual. Many people feel happy when something happens that they want or like and fell unhappy when something unwanted occurs.
Here's an example:
A few years ago I was in a car accident. I had just left my house and I had a few errands to run locally. I admit I tend to drive fast and I noticed the two cars ahead of me had come to a stop. The lead car was waiting for traffic to clear in order to make a left turn. I quickly applied my brakes and saw I would be able to stop safely as I checked my rear view mirror to see who was behind me. It was evident to me that the car behind was also going too fast and was going to hit me. The impact was strong enough to push me across the opposing lane of traffic bounce off of a guardrail before I was able to stop the car.
You might say, "Boy Lorraine, not a good day!" I agree that it wasn't what I wanted my day to be.
The downside? My car was fully paid for and, a week before had undergone major maintenance work. The accident totaled my car.
Some immediate blessings? I was bruised and unhurt and I could have been killed. Apparently, when I was hit and pushed across the road, the lead car had finally made the left turn because there was no traffic. I called a healer friend who came immediately and met me at the hospital (where I was checked out for any injuries). My chiropractor opened his office to do a session.
When I returned home, my spirits were low and I could have begun feeling sorry for myself and bemoan the ramifications of having to get a new car, etc. It was a perfect invitation for my mood to start plummeting.
So what to do when you find yourself focusing on the negative?
Here are 7 ways to shift your mood to a better place:
1. Gratitude. Focusing on all you have in your life is an immediate mood shifter. Honor the losses that might be part of any circumstance and allow your viewpoint to expand in appreciation for all the riches you have that truly matters.
2. Interrupt negative self-talk and choose a better thought to put your attention. Notice where your thoughts are focused. What stories and dramas are you creating? Are they serving to help you feel better or worse? If you're unable to let the stories go and dramas go immediately, exaggerate it BIG. Really act it out and play with it so that it becomes absurd. It might even become funny! Take a stand and choose to put your attention on a better feeling thought. You have that POWER!!!!
3. Accept what happened. Dwelling on the past and ruminating on the details only adds more stress and upset. What we resist, persists. The more we struggle against our unwanted life circumstances the more power we give our unhappiness to affect our present moments. It is what it is. Each moment is temporary and gives birth to the next. Acceptance opens the door to...
4. Look for the blessings. Every situation is a healing and growth opportunity. Asking questions like: What are the gifts from this experience? (Focus on the gratitude). What can I learn from this situation? Recognize everything happens for a reason even if it appears to make no logical sense. Approaching life from this perspective invites greater ease and flow. Looking through the eyes of the Victim or the Champion/Hero/Creator is a choice. Seeing your life experience with appreciations and gratitude invites possibilities to unfold.
5. Ask for help. Reach out to your circle of friends if you need an ear, a hug, a boost or a kick in the butt to get yourself into a healthier mindset. Be willing to receive help and invite the people in your life to be a loving support if you need it!
6. Help someone. Our natural state is one of loving generosity and well-being. Extending support to another can be a great heart lifter in reconnecting us to our spirit.
7. Do something that brings you joy, makes you laugh, and feeds your spirit. A few months ago, my buddy Anita Pathik- Law and I were talking on the phone and we started laughing. The kind of laughter that turns into side-splitting laughter that continued for over 6 minutes. It was hilarious. She recorded it and if I ever need a boost, all I have to do is play it and I start laughing!
Founder of Powerfull-Living, Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen is a spiritual life coach, broadcaster, published writer, and inspirational speaker who is recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field. For over 20 years, Lorraine has inspired and supported thousands of spiritually-conscious business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals, coaches, mentors, and authors to create a prosperous business, meaningfull career and fulfilling life that aligns with their spirit. An expert in transforming fear and limiting beliefs that create barriers to success, she shows people how to get unstuck; to break through the confusion and roadblocks so they move forward in all areas of their life. Receive her free report '5 Secrets to Attracting Everything You Want!"
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lorraine_Cohen
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . . .WHO ARE YOU?
Why Failure Usually Comes Down to Personality
By Mika Libambu Schiller
One of the ironclad rules of the human condition is that anything difficult takes more than one person to accomplish. In reality, what makes difficult things so difficult is that there are so many variables involved that require the right kinds of people to understand them and to work together.
If you spend enough time working towards something, chances are that you'll get what you want in one form or another...granted that within that period of time you manage to find the right ways to work with the right people. Your success at that will depend to a large degree on your personality.
Your personality is the number one factor in determining your success in life...hands down. Personality encompasses a lot though; drive, persistence, openness, etc.
That means that if you don't have the type of personality that allows you to do things like change your mind when evidence presents itself or subdue your ego to the common good, it's highly unlikely that you'll get far at anything at all.
That's a pretty sobering statement. The good news is that the execution of your personality is something you have complete control over. In other words, you can change the way you do things to increase your chances of succeeding.
Let's take something like starting up a successful music enterprise; band, indie record label, whatever. It's a profit-making enterprise. These days, it's gotten more complicated to start one because of all the new moving parts. If you lead any type of a music enterprise, you've got to think about all of the people who are going to execute on all the new business realities out there; the new stuff like social media and blogs and the other stuff like website maintenance, creative direction, business management, touring, etc.
With so many variables involved and with the multitude of people required to execute on an idea, it's no surprise that most things that get started don't last because of conflicts of interest.
What I've discovered is that for the vast majority of people, their ego often times more important to them than the goal of the group or of the project at any given point in time. It's even worse with highly skilled and creative people. Sometimes, even if they know that an idea is right, they reject it because they didn't come up with it. Or they just won't fully buy into it and it slows down progress. It kills group morale.
One thing I've learned is that the best way to deal with the human ego is through what I call the Law of Positive Reinforcement. It sounds like fluff, but it's not. And it's not an entirely new idea either.
It basically states that, being that people are driven by ego, and that you'll never change that, the best way to make progress is by stroking people's egos. And you do that by compromise through logic and persuasion.
If you have an idea for something, it's more likely to get accepted by people if you detach your own ego from it. People are status driven. The minute they perceive that your idea is tainted with your own ego, they dig in their heels. If you argue in a nuanced way with facts, they can't attack you.
It works the other way too. If someone proposes an idea and you have a better alternative, you pick their idea apart with facts, not opinion. Progress is made when people agree on the facts.
Politicians do that all the time. Barack Obama's a master at it. He has the ability to attack any angle of an issue without injecting himself personally. That's why everybody thinks he's such a nice guy. I don't doubt he is, but he's also a sharp-elbowed politician. He just conceals it well.
This is all common sense stuff, but hard to act on because our egos often get in the way of measured action.
So, if you want to get things done, realize that the world is full of flawed human beings. You need them. And you need to stroke their egos.
Mika Schiller author blurb: Mika Schiller is a writer for the Indie music website MADE and he writes about where the music industry's headed and how it relates to the Independent Music artist. He gives irreverent career and personal development advice to the Indie music artist. For more great writing and irresistible advice, along with a free report on effective MySpace music marketing, please visit http://www.letsgetmade.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mika_Libambu_Schiller
By Mika Libambu Schiller
One of the ironclad rules of the human condition is that anything difficult takes more than one person to accomplish. In reality, what makes difficult things so difficult is that there are so many variables involved that require the right kinds of people to understand them and to work together.
If you spend enough time working towards something, chances are that you'll get what you want in one form or another...granted that within that period of time you manage to find the right ways to work with the right people. Your success at that will depend to a large degree on your personality.
Your personality is the number one factor in determining your success in life...hands down. Personality encompasses a lot though; drive, persistence, openness, etc.
That means that if you don't have the type of personality that allows you to do things like change your mind when evidence presents itself or subdue your ego to the common good, it's highly unlikely that you'll get far at anything at all.
That's a pretty sobering statement. The good news is that the execution of your personality is something you have complete control over. In other words, you can change the way you do things to increase your chances of succeeding.
Let's take something like starting up a successful music enterprise; band, indie record label, whatever. It's a profit-making enterprise. These days, it's gotten more complicated to start one because of all the new moving parts. If you lead any type of a music enterprise, you've got to think about all of the people who are going to execute on all the new business realities out there; the new stuff like social media and blogs and the other stuff like website maintenance, creative direction, business management, touring, etc.
With so many variables involved and with the multitude of people required to execute on an idea, it's no surprise that most things that get started don't last because of conflicts of interest.
What I've discovered is that for the vast majority of people, their ego often times more important to them than the goal of the group or of the project at any given point in time. It's even worse with highly skilled and creative people. Sometimes, even if they know that an idea is right, they reject it because they didn't come up with it. Or they just won't fully buy into it and it slows down progress. It kills group morale.
One thing I've learned is that the best way to deal with the human ego is through what I call the Law of Positive Reinforcement. It sounds like fluff, but it's not. And it's not an entirely new idea either.
It basically states that, being that people are driven by ego, and that you'll never change that, the best way to make progress is by stroking people's egos. And you do that by compromise through logic and persuasion.
If you have an idea for something, it's more likely to get accepted by people if you detach your own ego from it. People are status driven. The minute they perceive that your idea is tainted with your own ego, they dig in their heels. If you argue in a nuanced way with facts, they can't attack you.
It works the other way too. If someone proposes an idea and you have a better alternative, you pick their idea apart with facts, not opinion. Progress is made when people agree on the facts.
Politicians do that all the time. Barack Obama's a master at it. He has the ability to attack any angle of an issue without injecting himself personally. That's why everybody thinks he's such a nice guy. I don't doubt he is, but he's also a sharp-elbowed politician. He just conceals it well.
This is all common sense stuff, but hard to act on because our egos often get in the way of measured action.
So, if you want to get things done, realize that the world is full of flawed human beings. You need them. And you need to stroke their egos.
Mika Schiller author blurb: Mika Schiller is a writer for the Indie music website MADE and he writes about where the music industry's headed and how it relates to the Independent Music artist. He gives irreverent career and personal development advice to the Indie music artist. For more great writing and irresistible advice, along with a free report on effective MySpace music marketing, please visit http://www.letsgetmade.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mika_Libambu_Schiller
Saturday, October 17, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . .THE KEY TO SUCCESS
Think and Grow Rich - Organized Planning Through Masterminding
By Gerrald Hendrix
Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich" stressed the importance of masterminding at two critical phases in his sixth step toward riches. At the onset of our planning we must have mastermind group input. As we implement and adjust our plans we must continue to maintain our relationship with the group.
Most people are ready to grow rich but really have no idea of where to start, much less the processes involved.
Previous steps prior to organized planning include:
Desire or a burning passion to acquire riches or some other goal.
Faith that you will obtain your desires.
Autosuggestion to enable you to build your faith.
Specialized knowledge as may be required.
Imagination to conceive the idea which you will use to obtain your riches or goal.
As we progress through the steps toward our goal, we have arrived at the point where our initial desire will be as Mr. Hill described it, "crystallized" into action. This will require planning.
This is not to be confused with our initial plan which contains our goal, expected date to receive our goal, etc. This plan is where we begin to take definite action.
You may ask why you need to have a plan when you know what you want.
Napoleon Hill said it best. "No individual has sufficient experience, education, native ability, and knowledge to insure the accumulation of a great fortune without the cooperation of other people"
What he is saying is that you will need to jointly plan with your group. The original idea may be your own creation, but the final version and its methods of implementation must be a joint venture.
Masterminding is certainly not a new or unique concept. It is no more than a group of individuals with mastery in various and numerous subjects pertaining to your particular needs, coming together to advise you and critique your plans.
Mr. Hill deemed this step as absolutely essential. Do not neglect it!
How to form a mastermind group:
Research and seek out people who may assist you with your plans.
Form an alliance with as many people as you need to create and help you carry out your plan or plans.
As you form the alliance, decide what service you will render in exchange for their alliance. This may be money or a service.
Arrange to meet with this group as often weekly as is necessary to create and implement your plan.
Establish and maintain a harmonious relationship among all members. This again is an absolute essential.
The advantages of a mastermind group:
Allows you, with the help of the group, to formulate plans that to the best of everyone's collective knowledge are sound and faultless.
Enables you to "fall back and regroup" if your plan does not work and you have to make adjustments or new plans.
Your ideas may indeed be sound, however your plans may not be and therefore you don't achieve what you desire. This is where most simply give up. Most people give up on the idea rather than press on until they find the successful plan.
As Mr. Hill illustrates in his text, Thomas Edison experienced ten thousand "temporary defeats" before he perfected the incandescent light bulb. Yes, ten thousand!
If you really having a burning desire for riches, you will need a fiery persistence to build and if need be rebuild your plans, never admitting final defeat.
"No man is ever whipped, unless he quits in his own mind", Napoleon Hill, "Think and Grow Rich".
My name is Gerrald Hendrix (Jerry). I am an internet entrepreneur marketing wealth creation, education and management products and services. I am one of a team of marketers teaching others how to be successful in challenging times. See what we do and how your life can be changed forever. My associate Michael has more information for you at: http://allseriousentrepreneurs.com/?site=VMichaelF
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerrald_Hendrix
Saturday, October 10, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . DON'T WORRY
A Leadership Truth: It's OK Not to Know It All
By Mark E. Green
Executives and other business leaders who “make it to the top” typically have invested many years in education, hard work, and self-sacrifice. They are seasoned veterans whohave the potential to lead their organizations to new heights of competitiveness, profitability, and success.
But truthfully, most business leaders don’t know everything they need to know. It’s not their fault -- it’s simply a fact that’s helpful to admit. Running an organization of any size is a complicated undertaking. Organizations are living, breathing entities in a constantly changing environment and the folks at the top have one of the toughest jobs around. How could they possibly know everything?
Successfully getting everyone on the same page, developing vision, planning, and then executing to maximize profits and attain other objectives requires a delicate balance of cooperation, coordination, and communication. In the present business climate, executives are expected to accomplish increasingly ambitious goals with a decreasing pool of resources.
To compound this problem, many capable executives heap added pressure on themselves by thinking and expecting that they should know everything. Some may even feel embarrassed if they don’t have all the answers all the time.
In fact, people don’t expect those who are leading them to be self-sufficient. They simply want them to be willing to ask for help when it’s needed, and to know where to go to get the answers. In other words, there’s no place for superheroes or “know-it-alls” in organizational leadership.
An interesting story about Henry Ford will illuminate this point. After World War I, Mr. Ford – relatively uneducated, but one of the most economically powerful men on the planet - filed a lawsuit against the Chicago Tribune for calling him “ignorant.” During the trial, the newspaper’s lawyer repeatedly tried to embarrass Mr. Ford with trivial, needling questions designed to prove how much he didn't know.
Finally, when his patience was fully exhausted, Ford told the court that he had a series of buttons on his desk. He said that whenever he desired information or needed help to accomplish a task, he could immediately summon the right person to fulfill his need. Henry Ford had deliberately surrounded himself with experts.
There was silence in the courtroom. The Chicago Tribune’s attorney dropped his jaw in surprise. Up until that moment the lawyer had been enjoying considerable fun at what he believed to be Ford’s expense. But Ford’s remark spoiled the lawyer’s fun and changed the course of the trial.
When Henry Ford needed help, he knew exactly where to turn. In fact, he planned for it. Business leaders don’t need to be experts in everything. But they do need to be willing and able to ask for help in the areas where they lack knowledge and experience.
So where is it that you may need some help? And what are you planning to do about it?
Since founding Performance Dynamics Group in 2003, Mark Green has spoken to and consulted with thousands of business leaders to predictably convert the promise of strategic change into a reality of performance and results. His clients absolutely do not want yet another "flavor of the year" initiative -- they want measurable and sustainable results.
If you feel the same and would like to understand how his speaking and consulting might be just the right fit for your business, give him a call at 732-537-0381.
To learn more and to subscribe to Mark's free monthly enewsletter, visit us on the web at http://www.performance-dynamics.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_E._Green
By Mark E. Green
Executives and other business leaders who “make it to the top” typically have invested many years in education, hard work, and self-sacrifice. They are seasoned veterans whohave the potential to lead their organizations to new heights of competitiveness, profitability, and success.
But truthfully, most business leaders don’t know everything they need to know. It’s not their fault -- it’s simply a fact that’s helpful to admit. Running an organization of any size is a complicated undertaking. Organizations are living, breathing entities in a constantly changing environment and the folks at the top have one of the toughest jobs around. How could they possibly know everything?
Successfully getting everyone on the same page, developing vision, planning, and then executing to maximize profits and attain other objectives requires a delicate balance of cooperation, coordination, and communication. In the present business climate, executives are expected to accomplish increasingly ambitious goals with a decreasing pool of resources.
To compound this problem, many capable executives heap added pressure on themselves by thinking and expecting that they should know everything. Some may even feel embarrassed if they don’t have all the answers all the time.
In fact, people don’t expect those who are leading them to be self-sufficient. They simply want them to be willing to ask for help when it’s needed, and to know where to go to get the answers. In other words, there’s no place for superheroes or “know-it-alls” in organizational leadership.
An interesting story about Henry Ford will illuminate this point. After World War I, Mr. Ford – relatively uneducated, but one of the most economically powerful men on the planet - filed a lawsuit against the Chicago Tribune for calling him “ignorant.” During the trial, the newspaper’s lawyer repeatedly tried to embarrass Mr. Ford with trivial, needling questions designed to prove how much he didn't know.
Finally, when his patience was fully exhausted, Ford told the court that he had a series of buttons on his desk. He said that whenever he desired information or needed help to accomplish a task, he could immediately summon the right person to fulfill his need. Henry Ford had deliberately surrounded himself with experts.
There was silence in the courtroom. The Chicago Tribune’s attorney dropped his jaw in surprise. Up until that moment the lawyer had been enjoying considerable fun at what he believed to be Ford’s expense. But Ford’s remark spoiled the lawyer’s fun and changed the course of the trial.
When Henry Ford needed help, he knew exactly where to turn. In fact, he planned for it. Business leaders don’t need to be experts in everything. But they do need to be willing and able to ask for help in the areas where they lack knowledge and experience.
So where is it that you may need some help? And what are you planning to do about it?
Since founding Performance Dynamics Group in 2003, Mark Green has spoken to and consulted with thousands of business leaders to predictably convert the promise of strategic change into a reality of performance and results. His clients absolutely do not want yet another "flavor of the year" initiative -- they want measurable and sustainable results.
If you feel the same and would like to understand how his speaking and consulting might be just the right fit for your business, give him a call at 732-537-0381.
To learn more and to subscribe to Mark's free monthly enewsletter, visit us on the web at http://www.performance-dynamics.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_E._Green
Friday, October 02, 2009
CHANGE IS GOOD . . . YOU COULD DO IT !!!
How to Overcome Insurmountable Obstacles
By Dr. Annette Colby, RDAnnette@AnnetteColby.com or www.AnnetteColby.com
Years ago, I realized that our personal challenges offer a special opportunity to understand ourselves, our capabilities, and the meaning of life. Personal challenges are a way of working things out for ourselves, and discovering new solutions within our creative selves for old problems.
We often view personal challenges as shameful, a curse, or an inner enemy that needs to be conquered. It’s tempting to consider frustrating challenges such as emotional or compulsive eating, weight issues, panic and anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and depression as beyond our control.
However, personal challenge offers a unique opportunity to grow, learn, and love. Your challenges ask more of you than you have ever experienced. They take you into new territory and greater possibilities. They ask you to dig deep and discover confidence, self-esteem, and unexplored reservoirs of self-love.
Facing a Dead-EndIf you have an unachievable challenge or a goal, chances are you will find yourself facing a wall. You will feel worn out and discouraged. It’s been a long and difficult journey and now you find yourself staring at a dead-end. All the doubts and negative beliefs you hold about your ability to achieve success rise up from within and swarm into your conscious awareness.
Feelings of hopelessness, ineptitude, unworthiness, or even shame swarm through your mind and body. You want to turn and run away from this wall and your terrible feelings as fast as you can. However, this dead-end is exactly the place you need to be right now, and facing your feelings is the way out.
Limiting Beliefs
That wall represents your limiting beliefs. It’s not there because the universe is teaching you one big lesson. It’s not there because you’re a bad person, because you’re being punished, or because you are not worthy or capable. Instead, that wall is there because it symbolizes the things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. Limiting beliefs are ideas that hold you back and keep you from becoming the person you want to be. Most times limiting beliefs are not true, but because you believe them to be true they act like brakes on your progress. Limiting beliefs are ideas that some there is some character trait about you that is inescapable or unchangeable.
If you feel that some area of your life isn’t the way you want it be, yet you feel hopeless, helpless, or worthless to change it, then you probably have limiting beliefs.
Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:
I can’t.
I am bad.
I won’t succeed, so there’s no point in trying.
I lack the ability to achieve my goal.
I can’t have what I want.
I’m not good enough.
I don’t deserve anything.
I’m afraid of success.
I Can’t Have What I Want
If you are facing a wall, congratulations are in order! We are generally not consciously aware of our limiting beliefs. But because of your personal challenge you took risks and tried new actions that allowed you to consciously wander through your inner landscape to discover what you are currently capable of achieving. Your goal actually did what it was supposed to do. It brought you face-to-face with your limiting beliefs, emotional resistance, and all the reasons why you believe you can’t have what you most want. Your goal showed you the difference between the current reality that you live in and the reality that you want to live in.
Feelings Tell the Truth
You may not recognize your exact limiting belief, but when you are facing an obstacle you almost always can feel the energy that goes with your belief. Sometimes a limiting belief will make you feel anxious or angry. Other times you may feel overwhelmed, irritated, lethargic, or even depressed. If you’re feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are about to collapse in front of your goal, chances are you are in direct contact with a limiting belief. What’s the solution? Say hello, don’t run, and be willing to admit consciously what you believe to be true about you or your ability to navigate through this situation.
A New Potential Reality
There is the potential of a happier, brighter, more expansive reality on the other side of your wall. Yet, there’s a catch. That reality doesn’t exist yet. It has to be imagined, created, and allowed first – by you. To get to the other side of the wall requires envisioning yourself living the type of life you want to be living, and gaining new beliefs that will support you living that life. That’s the purpose of your challenge. You’re not fighting against what you don’t want, you are in the process of choosing the life you want to live, and then building the self-supportive beliefs necessary to allow you to live that life. If you are facing a wall, back up and examine your challenge. Why you want what you want, and what strengths you will gain by creating that success in your life?
How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Many of our limiting beliefs are stubborn, deeply entrenched, and feel unbearable. Yet to get beyond the wall requires facing your current beliefs about life, others, and yourself, and seeing where those beliefs limit and hold you back. Instead of turning back in defeat or pushing relentlessly against an unmovable wall, decide to get acquainted with your beliefs.
Becoming aware of limiting beliefs is typically challenging, since beliefs tend to remain hidden in our subconscious. But if you are attempting to overcome a personal challenge, then you are in luck! With every new action you take, your fears and limiting beliefs are bound to rise up out of hiding. When they do, you can calmly ask yourself these questions:
What exactly are you telling yourself when the situation seems unachievable?
What do you feel to be true about yourself when you are facing a dead-end?
Why is your goal unattainable?
What skills do you lack to attain it?
Why don’t you deserve to achieve your goal?
How does this belief keep you safe?
What benefit do you get from holding this belief?
Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It’s a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs. To overcome your self-limiting beliefs, examine the beliefs you hold. Question their validity. Journal about them. Take a conscious look at them, and decide if those beliefs are really the ones you want to hold in your future. And then take action to replace them with better ones.
(c) 2009 Dr. Annette Colby, RD
About The AuthorDr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit www.AnnetteColby.comto access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Fr’ee subscription to Loving Mriacles newsletter.
Note: Are you looking for fresh content for your e-zine or web site? Feel free to reprint this article as long as it’s kept intact and unaltered (including the “About The Author” info at the end).
By Dr. Annette Colby, RDAnnette@AnnetteColby.com or www.AnnetteColby.com
Years ago, I realized that our personal challenges offer a special opportunity to understand ourselves, our capabilities, and the meaning of life. Personal challenges are a way of working things out for ourselves, and discovering new solutions within our creative selves for old problems.
We often view personal challenges as shameful, a curse, or an inner enemy that needs to be conquered. It’s tempting to consider frustrating challenges such as emotional or compulsive eating, weight issues, panic and anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and depression as beyond our control.
However, personal challenge offers a unique opportunity to grow, learn, and love. Your challenges ask more of you than you have ever experienced. They take you into new territory and greater possibilities. They ask you to dig deep and discover confidence, self-esteem, and unexplored reservoirs of self-love.
Facing a Dead-EndIf you have an unachievable challenge or a goal, chances are you will find yourself facing a wall. You will feel worn out and discouraged. It’s been a long and difficult journey and now you find yourself staring at a dead-end. All the doubts and negative beliefs you hold about your ability to achieve success rise up from within and swarm into your conscious awareness.
Feelings of hopelessness, ineptitude, unworthiness, or even shame swarm through your mind and body. You want to turn and run away from this wall and your terrible feelings as fast as you can. However, this dead-end is exactly the place you need to be right now, and facing your feelings is the way out.
Limiting Beliefs
That wall represents your limiting beliefs. It’s not there because the universe is teaching you one big lesson. It’s not there because you’re a bad person, because you’re being punished, or because you are not worthy or capable. Instead, that wall is there because it symbolizes the things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. Limiting beliefs are ideas that hold you back and keep you from becoming the person you want to be. Most times limiting beliefs are not true, but because you believe them to be true they act like brakes on your progress. Limiting beliefs are ideas that some there is some character trait about you that is inescapable or unchangeable.
If you feel that some area of your life isn’t the way you want it be, yet you feel hopeless, helpless, or worthless to change it, then you probably have limiting beliefs.
Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:
I can’t.
I am bad.
I won’t succeed, so there’s no point in trying.
I lack the ability to achieve my goal.
I can’t have what I want.
I’m not good enough.
I don’t deserve anything.
I’m afraid of success.
I Can’t Have What I Want
If you are facing a wall, congratulations are in order! We are generally not consciously aware of our limiting beliefs. But because of your personal challenge you took risks and tried new actions that allowed you to consciously wander through your inner landscape to discover what you are currently capable of achieving. Your goal actually did what it was supposed to do. It brought you face-to-face with your limiting beliefs, emotional resistance, and all the reasons why you believe you can’t have what you most want. Your goal showed you the difference between the current reality that you live in and the reality that you want to live in.
Feelings Tell the Truth
You may not recognize your exact limiting belief, but when you are facing an obstacle you almost always can feel the energy that goes with your belief. Sometimes a limiting belief will make you feel anxious or angry. Other times you may feel overwhelmed, irritated, lethargic, or even depressed. If you’re feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are about to collapse in front of your goal, chances are you are in direct contact with a limiting belief. What’s the solution? Say hello, don’t run, and be willing to admit consciously what you believe to be true about you or your ability to navigate through this situation.
A New Potential Reality
There is the potential of a happier, brighter, more expansive reality on the other side of your wall. Yet, there’s a catch. That reality doesn’t exist yet. It has to be imagined, created, and allowed first – by you. To get to the other side of the wall requires envisioning yourself living the type of life you want to be living, and gaining new beliefs that will support you living that life. That’s the purpose of your challenge. You’re not fighting against what you don’t want, you are in the process of choosing the life you want to live, and then building the self-supportive beliefs necessary to allow you to live that life. If you are facing a wall, back up and examine your challenge. Why you want what you want, and what strengths you will gain by creating that success in your life?
How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Many of our limiting beliefs are stubborn, deeply entrenched, and feel unbearable. Yet to get beyond the wall requires facing your current beliefs about life, others, and yourself, and seeing where those beliefs limit and hold you back. Instead of turning back in defeat or pushing relentlessly against an unmovable wall, decide to get acquainted with your beliefs.
Becoming aware of limiting beliefs is typically challenging, since beliefs tend to remain hidden in our subconscious. But if you are attempting to overcome a personal challenge, then you are in luck! With every new action you take, your fears and limiting beliefs are bound to rise up out of hiding. When they do, you can calmly ask yourself these questions:
What exactly are you telling yourself when the situation seems unachievable?
What do you feel to be true about yourself when you are facing a dead-end?
Why is your goal unattainable?
What skills do you lack to attain it?
Why don’t you deserve to achieve your goal?
How does this belief keep you safe?
What benefit do you get from holding this belief?
Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It’s a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs. To overcome your self-limiting beliefs, examine the beliefs you hold. Question their validity. Journal about them. Take a conscious look at them, and decide if those beliefs are really the ones you want to hold in your future. And then take action to replace them with better ones.
(c) 2009 Dr. Annette Colby, RD
About The AuthorDr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit www.AnnetteColby.comto access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Fr’ee subscription to Loving Mriacles newsletter.
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