For Christmas Week - Things I Wish I Had Said
By Jerry Elrod
There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Although I am a senior citizen living happily in retirement, I cannot claim memory issues about what I didn't say. Rather, I must admit to unthoughtful or neglectful behavior. Not a happy thought, so here are a few things I wish I had told you.
I wish I had said "I APPRECIATE YOU" more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn't it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.
I wish I had said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" when I didn't. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.
I wish I had said "I CARE." There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those "down days" when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn't have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.
I wish I had said "FORGIVE ME." Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.
I wish I had said "HOW ARE YOU" and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.
I wish I had said "TELL ME ABOUT IT" when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.
I wish I had said "THANK YOU" for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn't say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.
I wish I had said "I MISS YOU." Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.
I wish I had said "I LOVE YOU." Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.
I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have; I think most of us senior citizens know how to be kind and compassionate. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: "HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE."
Article provided by Dr. Jerry D. Elrod. For information on retirement, Baby Boomers and everything related to Seniors, please visit my blog at http://seniorcitizenjournal.blogspot.com
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......JUST DO IT
Action - The Critical Ingredient For Achieving Anything in Life
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joi_Sigers
By Joi Sigers
Action. What do you think of when you hear or read the word action?
If you're like my husband, you probably think of action movies - James Bond, Batman, Jason Bourne and Max Payne may all spring to mind.
As someone who collects motivational quotes and does a great deal of "Self Help" writing, however, the first think in my mind when I hear or read the word action is a great quote by the great John F. Kennedy. "Things do not happen; things are made to happen." I also think of another word... vital.
One of the things that perplexes me most in the whole world is the number of people who have skill, talent, and good old-fashioned "know how," yet never seem to get out of the batter's box. They have the talent to carry them to first, second, and third base and the skill to carry them home. But, frustratingly enough, they stay in one place watching the game go on without them. They watch others run the bases and think, "I could do that." Some are even certain that they could do it better. Yet, there they stand - as though their shoes were nailed to the ground.
It's something that puzzles me so much that I've actually spent hours thinking about it. I simply know far too many people who should be... who could be... setting the world on fire in their prospective fields. They're built to be stars, not spectators! Which is why I've tried so hard to get my mind around the mystery of people who can but won't.
I've decided that there are three groups of people who fall into this category.
1. There's the group who are afraid to fail. I know a few who are perfect examples of this one. They have so much pride in their reputation and in their "name" that they're frozen with fear. They seem to think that if they try something new and "fail," people will think less of them and/or their peers will laugh at them. 2. Others are too comfortable to make a move. A lot of people stand still for one reason, alone. Taking a step out of their comfort zone would require more energy than they're willing to part with. 3. The rest simply don't know to take that first step. I think that, probably, more people fall into this group than the other two.
Possible Solutions:
Of course just knowing the problem areas doesn't really solve anything, does it? We actually have to figure out ways to move from here to there.
Let's take each and see if we can come up with any steps that'll lead in a better direction.
First of all, the group who is afraid to fail. I can understand this one, actually. The fear of being looked at as unsuccessful isn't very appealing. But a lot of it comes down to the individual's own attitude. When someone tries something and isn't successful, the way they're perceived by others is often dictated by their own attitude. For example, if they start pointing fingers or madly making excuses, they're not going to come off so well. But if they stay positive and acknowledge the experience as a learning curve, people will be able to relate to them - and even respect them.
Second of all, the people who are too comfortable to be moved. While I can relate to the first group, I can't even begin to relate to this group. I just can't imagine not ever wanting better, not from life - but from yourself. I'm all about pushing myself as far as I can, just to see what I can learn to do. Granted, I find plenty of things I can't even come close to doing (more things than I care to admit, actually!) but I also find things that I somehow manage to learn. Sometimes having a hard head can serve a person well. When their head is hard enough and their will strong enough, they stay in the fight until they've licked whatever it is they're up against.
I think that may be where the solution lies for our comfort-seeking friends. They have to light a fire under themselves and determine to push themselves further and demand more from themselves. They have to realize that if they never move and never grow - they'll become as stagnant as well water,
Third of all, we have the group who simply don't know HOW to take that first step. Some simply give up, while others do so much research that their to do list never gets done. It simply gets covered up with research!
Don't get me wrong, researching information is a glorious thing. I'm turned on by research almost as much as I am by the Starbucks logo. I spend hours each day researching someone, someplace, and or something. But when reading about things takes the place of doing things, it's time to re-evaluate where you are and where you're NOT going..
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to someone who falls into group 3 is this: Find someone who has done what you're desiring to do and ask them the following question, "What were your first three steps?" Most people are, at heart, extremely helpful - especially when you're interested in them. If they've accomplished something you want to accomplish, they'll be extremely flattered by the situation. So much so that you're certain to get 3 very detailed "first steps."
Finally, I just want to give one small example of a sure fire approach. When I was a little girl, I played in a softball league. I was the youngest and smallest on the team, so they figured the safest spot for me was behind the plate - as the catcher. They felt that if the "runt" was behind the plate, she wouldn't get into any trouble. The problem was, I wanted desperately to be the pitcher. However, the coach had a pitcher he was pretty partial to: His daughter! Plus, he kept telling me that I was so "tiny" that I'd be better off covered with the catcher's equipment (which I hated with a passion!).
When August came, something happened between the coach and his wife. They ended up going their separate ways, and his daughter left with the mother. At our next practice, the coach asked us, "Who knows how to pitch?" I said, "I can pitch." Never mind the fact I'd never pitched before... details, details.
So, he walked me to the pitching rubber, gave me a ball, and he, himself, assumed the catcher's position. I remember seeing my mom in the stands looking at me like, "What in the world are you doing there, you've never pitched before?!" I smiled at her and then just did my best.
I through 5 or so pitches before he announced to everyone, "We have a pitcher."
I never had to go behind the plate again. I was 8 that summer and continued to pitch for 10 more years, throughout my softball career.
Sometimes, you just simply have to jump in with both feet (and arms). You never know what you can do until you put yourself in the position to sink or swim.... fly or fall.... pitch or catch.
Nolan Bushell put it like this, "The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today."
As someone once said, "Self isn't something one finds, it's something one creates." Self Help Daily would love to help YOU create a masterpiece!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joi_Sigers
Monday, December 01, 2008
CHANGE IS GOOD......ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE
10 Ways to Deal With Negative Thinking, Panic and Paralyzing Fears
By Peter Murphy
I recently heard from a friend who had been laid off at the newspaper she worked at because of the faltering economy. She didn't have many job leads and her motivation was at an all-time low. She felt that there was nothing more frightening than being a writer in an uncertain job market.
Panic and fear quickly took over; where would she go from go from there?
How would she pay her bills?
How would she cope with uncertainty?
Her mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and she began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze her into stagnant ground forever.
As she began to realize what a toll her predicament was leaving her in, it became clear to her that she needed to take action and do something to get herself out of the hole she was in.
Once she sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing her dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and she was on a roll!
Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.
The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.
Reading through them should help you gain some perspective into your particular situation:
1. Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong
Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you're having to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were.
It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.
Take some time to get in touch with those feelings.
The night my friend got laid off she drove home, fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes.
Then she called me.
I got her to get up, take a long shower, change into some comfortable clothes, and then she spent some time sat in front of the television watching 'Friends'.
Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be.focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.
2. Take a DEEP BREATH!
Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it.
Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus.
Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.
3. Organize your home, organize your life
Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have?
If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it.
There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it.
So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way.
You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive.
Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.
However:
5. Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism
Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus.
Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it.
Take charge of your life again.
6. Have someone objective to talk to
When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful.
In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.
7. Keep a journal of your progress
Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.
8. Get out of the house!
Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.
9. Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you
Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like fishing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings for local organizations?
These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.
10. Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE!
Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, nothing about my friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had she not kept herself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety.
Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do.
So get your coat, get your shoes, get your smile and go out into the world!
Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.
All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stay motivated
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Murphy
By Peter Murphy
I recently heard from a friend who had been laid off at the newspaper she worked at because of the faltering economy. She didn't have many job leads and her motivation was at an all-time low. She felt that there was nothing more frightening than being a writer in an uncertain job market.
Panic and fear quickly took over; where would she go from go from there?
How would she pay her bills?
How would she cope with uncertainty?
Her mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and she began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze her into stagnant ground forever.
As she began to realize what a toll her predicament was leaving her in, it became clear to her that she needed to take action and do something to get herself out of the hole she was in.
Once she sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing her dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and she was on a roll!
Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.
The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.
Reading through them should help you gain some perspective into your particular situation:
1. Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong
Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you're having to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were.
It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.
Take some time to get in touch with those feelings.
The night my friend got laid off she drove home, fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes.
Then she called me.
I got her to get up, take a long shower, change into some comfortable clothes, and then she spent some time sat in front of the television watching 'Friends'.
Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be.focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.
2. Take a DEEP BREATH!
Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it.
Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus.
Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.
3. Organize your home, organize your life
Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have?
If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it.
There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it.
So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way.
You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive.
Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.
However:
5. Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism
Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus.
Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it.
Take charge of your life again.
6. Have someone objective to talk to
When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful.
In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.
7. Keep a journal of your progress
Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.
8. Get out of the house!
Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.
9. Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you
Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like fishing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings for local organizations?
These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.
10. Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE!
Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, nothing about my friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had she not kept herself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety.
Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do.
So get your coat, get your shoes, get your smile and go out into the world!
Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.
All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stay motivated
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Murphy
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