CHANGE IS GOOD.....DON'T WORRY

What Me Worry-Not Anymore!

By Carol Giannantonio

Many of us work very hard to organize our lives and work to minimize surprises and problems. However, despite your most diligent efforts, things don't always turn out this way. Life is unpredictable. Life happens.

I have been the so called "worrying" type for many years and can relate to the pain and no gain of worry. However, by setting a goal around easing my worry, I am now able to control my worry situations and turn them into positive productive, happy moments in my life. As a result, I experience less stress, more happiness and success. Not a bad prize for taking a few simple yet committed action steps towards changing my worry times to wonderful times.

Worry sets in for most of us when our plans don't turn out as we expect and our life takes a few sharp turns or we are faced with a decision to make. Ultimately, worry is a form of fear and anxiety caused by lack of decision.

However, spending hours of worrying is unproductive. You begin to feel trapped, confused, frustrated. You loose your ability to focus on solutions. You find yourself caught in the drama of the situation- a situation that may not be as severe as you perceive it to be because your focus is blurred by your worrying. However, by shifting your perspective to gain clarity on your situation, you can begin to focus on realistic solutions. It is these solutions that will stop your worrying.

Here are four steps to get you started living a worry free and wonderful life.

One: Gain Clarity on the "current reality". Define the worry situation clearly in writing. Most of our problems can be solved by clearly defining them in writing. Remember, "Awareness and Acceptance is half the battle.

Two: Determine the worst possible outcome of the situation. What is the absolute worst that can happen?

Three: Resolve to accept the worst should it occur. The first step in dealing with any negative situation is to be willing to have it so. Once you resolve to accept the worst, your mind will become calm and clear and you'll be ready to take constructive action.

Four: The final step is to take immediate action. Begin doing everything you possibly can to improve upon the worst. The cure for worrying is to engage in meaningful action daily.
Involve yourself in positive actions that move you forward. These actions alone will get your mind excited about the new possibilities that lie ahead vs. worrying about what has passed or what may happen. You'll find you don't have time to worry since your too busy taking positive actions and enjoying the excitement.
As you take action, your confidence, courage and sense of control will return. Your fears and anxiety will disappear. Infect, you will feel happy and energized.

Try these three action steps and you'll be amazed how quickly your worries disappear.

1. Take out a piece of paper and make a list. Down one side of a page list all the situations causing you stress or worry at the moment.

2. On the other side of the page, write out the worst possible thing that could happen as a result. Review your list. Read it out loud. You'll be amazed to see much of your worry disappear with this simple exercise.

3. This is my favorite, when I catch myself worrying I stop, close my eyes and remember how good it feels when I am not worry.

Good Luck and Remember Enjoy the moment!


For over 10 years, Carol Giannantonio has helped individuals positively transform their lives and careers through her unique coaching and goals setting process. Carol's knowledge of and passion for coaching combined with her compassion and wisdom provide her clients with an enriching coaching experience. Her clients quickly see an improvement in their performance, experience positive changes in their overall quality of life and learn new and improved ways of thinking that allow them to reach their full potential. Carol is a Life Coach and Educator who specializes in helping people clarify what's really important to them and supports them in having a life they want and love. Her guiding principle is, "Go The Distance to Reach Your Dreams. Please visit her Web site http://www.carolgcoach.com and sign up for a free consultation, her newsletter, daily quotes and much more. Contact her at carolgcoach@aol.com for a truly unique coaching experience.
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CHANGE IS GOOD.......TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Keys to Feeling Powerful In An Uncertain World

By Lorraine Cohen

Life has always been full of uncertainties. Over the last several years with downsizing, bankruptcies, scandals, crime, the economic environment, and the threat of war, people are feeling power-less, fearful, and stressed about their present and future lives. I know people give their power away, often in ways they don’t realize.
#1 SECRET to Being "In Power"
No matter what life situation you are experiencing; your interpretation (perception/attitudes) towards that situation is the key to shifting from power-less to power-full. Do you see the experience as a problem, barrier, something too big for you to handle – a negative that evokes emotional distress? OR do you perceive the situation as a challenge, something that moves you forward, excites you, evokes creative problem solving? How you (1) view that situation and (2) view yourself in that situation can shift you dramatically from power-less to power-full in an instant!
Example: Consider any situation you perceive as having no control. Is that really true? Ask yourself….
In this situation, is there anything I do control?
In this situation, is there anything I can influence?
Now, consider that situation once more. Has your original perception of having no control changed in any way? If yes, how?
Strategies that Help You Stay Strong and Focused:
Ramp up extreme self-care. I use extreme because taking the best care of You is serious. Identify ways to replenish and strengthen yourself – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When we feel replenished, we handle situations with strength, clarity and focus. Consider what fuels and energizes you?
Decrease/eliminate energy drains. What are you tolerating/putting up with that drains your energy? We put up with, accept, take on and are dragged down by people’s behavior, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, in-completions, problems and even our own behavior (avoidance, silence, compliance) We can even normalize things because we have become conditioned to put up with it! You are putting up with more than you think, so what are you tolerating? Be specific. Here are some examples; needed repairs, clutter, unanswered correspondence, debt, a job, a relationship. What about the subtle energy zappers that drain you? What is this costing you? What are you willing to do to change? Want to direct your energy more productively, feel more revitalized and focused?
Create and enforce boundaries. Find your voice! Boundaries (limits) separate us from other people and situations; keeping us safe from threats, real or imagined. When we set boundaries (and reinforce them!), we create a "living space" for ourselves that tells us where we "end" and someone else "begins." By setting and maintaining your boundaries, you will educate people how you wish to be respected. The result? You become a great model for others and your relationships benefit by being with a happier YOU!
Monitor self-sabotage. What is self-sabotage? Self-sabotage is the combination of attitudes (beliefs, thoughts, feelings) and actions (behaviors) that create obstacles and roadblocks to our success, life fulfillment, etc. Self-defeating behaviors are the result of self-defeating attitudes. To be open to change is to be willing to accept yourself exactly as you are, Moving beyond self-sabotage requires having an open mind; letting go of self-judgments and criticisms. Forgive yourself for past choices and take the lessons/experiences learned to strengthen and empower you.
Surround yourself with people and things that life your Spirit. What brings you joy? We are influenced and impacted by the people in our lives especially within our inner circle. Allowing the special people in your life to love and support you is a gift and a blessing from which to draw strength, clarity, and courage.
Practice daily gratitude – Recognizing your daily blessings, big and small evokes peace and trust. Taking time to express sincere gratitude generates joy-full thoughts and feelings. Put your attention on the glass half full rather than the glass half empty.
Be a risk-taker. MOVE! Take action! Focus on the outcomes you can control or influence in your life.



Copyright 2003, Lorraine Cohen
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.Solo-E.com). Lorraine Cohen is a Business Coach & Life Strategist who brings more than 25 years of experience in life coaching, counseling, and sales. She helps people through career change, life transitions, and the process of breaking through FEAR and removing barriers to success.
Find more articles like this at http://www.Solo-E.com, the lifestyle-inspired online learning and connection community. Visit now to receive a free copy of our special report, The Four Secrets of Solo Entrepreneur Success, plus a complimentary 30-day membership.
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CHANGE IS GOOD.....GET OVER IT.

Personal Fear of Change and How to Change It!

By Patricia Weber

It’s interesting how we intellectually know that tomorrow will be different from yesterday, or even different from today. We know this based on experience. Wasn’t it only yesterday computers started appearing on people’s office desks? And now today, some of those people who cursed the wretched new things, rage when theirs or anyone else’s computer is down! Tomorrow will not be the same as yesterday. We know it. And yet, many of us go through change and feel battle fatigue, look worn out, whine loudly.
As part of this intellectualizing let’s challenge some myths of change. Let’s take charge of our thinking about living with change. After all, within these myths are the thorns that cause some of our discomfort with the change process.
One myth, people resist change, is almost as a rally cry in corporations and organizations.
It even echoes in families. People don’t resist change as much as we fear uncertainty and the unknown. People don’t resist change but shriek, “Just don’t try to change me!” Most of us WANT change. We want to change from being stressed to feeling more relaxed. We want to free ourselves from limited choices and have a greater number of options. If we get sick, we do whatever we can to get ourselves feeling well. Many of us get stuck in yesterday and yet daily we live with change.
Another favorite myth is “This is a bad thing!” You can use anything you want to replace the word “this.”
Even out of what begins as a tragic change, there usually is a pot of gold at the end. I have a friend whose husband was a tugboat operator for 25 years. One evening rather than delegating the task of going into town to buy groceries, for whatever reason, he went in himself. Apparently, putting together clues at the site, he must have slipped, lost his balance or somehow fell off the docks. He hit his head and snapped his neck, dead in that instant. A tragic, needless accident. An unsettling, life-changing event. Yet nearly a year later, my friend who lost her husband, has lost 50 pounds, and is having more success than ever in her work, and very recently there have been some new men in her life.
Most of us go through the process of change similar to experiences we have in grieving the death of someone we love. We are after all, human. For a while we grasp on to the way things “were” yesterday. In our own time, in our own way, we stay stuck until we are ready to let go of yesterday. Then when this release frees us, we move forward. We move on, go new directions, and meet new challenges.
Finally, there’s the myth that change is an event.
Change is constant. Change always is, it never isn’t! What we do live with are life- changing events. Getting married, having a baby, open heart surgery, fatal accident, different job. Maybe snapshots of life similar to these give us the view that change is an event. The image of change is more like a continually playing movie or video. Like with a video system, some events in our life seem to move fast forward, other times it maybe on pause. The reality is changes abound.
Still after all intellectualizing many of us will continue struggle with change. Many of us prefer the comfortableness of being uncomfortable.
My son, a surfer since he was 12 years old, expresses change as a surfing experience. When he was 24, he shared with me lessons learned in surfing: “Some surfers 'read' the wave, some just 'feel' it. It's hard to tell who has the better style, if it works it just works - you can't say one is better, unless you personally like it that way. There is always fear following you, especially when you're dropping in on a 25 or 30 or even 50 foot wave! Some people get scared on little waves - 6 foot or so. When you've hesitated with a thought or action, so fear will never get to come out, And the fear grows stronger from that... since its intention is to overcome you. Anyway, no two waves are the same, ever. You can't predict what will happen or try to have some plan for what you will do when the next wave comes, because it will almost never be exactly as you planned. You just have to get in good position, stay calm, and hope that a good one is coming just for you. When it does, you can't question if it is the one or not. You just have to go with it or go past it, and don't look back or be turned to stone (or fear).”
Get in a good position, challenge the myths of change and ride the wave. Ride the good waves that come your way. Put yourself in charge of change.


Copyright© Patricia Weber, http://www.prostrategies.com.
America’s #1 Coach for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant who sell, Pat Weber, helps you effortlessly get the business you want.
Get her free report, 6 Secrets to Sales Success for Introverts! Go to her website for a more comfortable, confident, no-stress sales method.
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