16 Simple Rules for Living a Successful Life

by Marya Jan

Is your day-to-day life full of stress and chaos?

Are you scrambling to find a peaceful moment in the day when you can put your feet up and relax? Are you rushed, stressed out and ready to call it quits.

Why is that so? Who is responsible for it? Why have we made it so difficult?

The solution is simple: simplify your life. It’s the implementation part that is hard, but here are my top tips to help with that:

#1 Believe in yourself , but be aware of your limitations

The first step to accomplishing all your goals and making your dreams come true starts with this simple realisation that you are human: you are not perfect and you can’t do everything alone.

Always keep things realistic. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you find it hard to move; trust yourself to deliver what you need to, but also be prepared to cut yourself some slack.
 •Own up when you make a mistake
 •Set goals, and enjoy the journey

#2 De-clutter & simplify

You have a thousand different things screaming for attention: you have to tidy up the kids’ room again; you have to do the dishes and laundry; and the never-ending household chores are waiting. You have to organize your calendar and make room for more appointments; make time to socialise; help the kids with homework; and make a gazillion school runs. Don’t even get started on what needs to be done at the office.

Let’s get one thing straight—you cannot accomplish anything unless you get yourself some of the clarity that comes from creating space in your life, in your relationships and your environment. You need to reduce, cut back, simplify—Only then will you stop the feeling of being overwhelmed and rushed.
 •Give anything you haven’t used for the past 3 years to charity
 •Get organized
 •Enjoy the concept of enjoying without owing, and appreciating without acquiring

#3 Use everything in moderation

This is something I live by, be it work, socializing, family commitments, overeating, shopping, or watching too much TV—it helps with every single thing. Embrace the philosophy of “having enough”: there’s no need to go to extremes, so exercise common sense and learn to curb any obsessive behaviour.
 •Spend less money than you make
 •Watch your diet
 •Watch less TV

#4 Keep things in perspective

I admit there will be times when nothing will go your way, and you will find yourself fighting battles, fixing problems and minimizing damage all day long. We all have those days, and it is too easy to get caught up in the drama. Get a handle on things: this, too, shall pass.

Your child will get better soon, the noisy neighbourhood parties will end, your backstabbing colleague will get transferred (we can hope, can’t we?), and there will be actual days where you tick off all the items on your to-do list.
 •Don’t sweat the small stuff
 •Have an open mind

#5 Treat others how they want to be treated

You might end up getting in trouble if you try treating others how you want to be treated, instead of how they would like you to treat them. For instance, if you are not a phone person, you might not call your friend because you assume that they feel the same way you do, which may not be the case.

Try to be sensitive to the needs of others, and occasionally going out of your way to do something for them.
 •Try not to judge
 •Be generous; try to do something nice for somebody on a regular basis

#6 Family first

My priority is my family, and I left work to start my own freelancing career for  the flexible hours it gives. That doesn’t mean that my work is not important—it just means that I have to operate in a way that works for me and my family.

How important is it to you that you spend time with your family? Are you making sure that your work doesn’t prevent you from doing just that? What sort of arrangements have you made to make it happen? You don’t have to stop living your life for your family members, but you’ll feel far less guilt if you prioritise and make time for them.

#7 Pay attention to the moment

Stop thinking about what happened in the past, or worry about what might happen in the future. Live in the moment and learn to savour each one.

#8 Have a positive mindset
You are what you think all day long. If you have nothing but negative thoughts racing through your ahead, then that’s what you are going to get, so try shifting to a more positive outlook on life. You will be surprised to see that whatever you wished for will start to manifest itself around you.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” ― Henry Ford

#9 Educate yourself

The most interesting people are the ones who take an interest in life and never let go of the “beginner’s mind”. They discover learning opportunities and continue to grow, both personally and professionally.

Be a life-long learner. You don’t have to get old to become wise.
 •Read good books
 •Try to learn something new every day
 •Take courses in subjects you enjoy

#10 Be passionate about something

There are some people who are so bursting with energy and vitality that others feel compelled to listen to them, and feel drawn to them. Passionate home cooks, budding interior designers, gourmet chocolate lovers, antique collectors—just try asking them a question about their interest and they will talk your ears off.

You want to be that person: someone who’s full of love for something significant. Have one meaningful hobby that encourages you to follow your passion, and you’ll begin each day looking forward to something special.

#11 Always be reflective

Do you ever think about yourself in moments of solitude? What makes you, you? What makes you tick? What bores you to death? What sort of things do you dream of? What can’t you get over? What regrets do you have of your past? Take some time to think about those things and you’ll understand yourself more clearly and deeply. You’d be surprised at the life-changing impact such reflection can bring.
 •Consider doing a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or another personality assessment to develop true understanding of your self

#12 Surround yourself with supportive people

3 things can change your life: friends, books & your thoughts. Choose them wisely.
 •Avoid naysayers and party-poopers

#13 Banish the word “perfection

Listen to what you tell your children: always do your best and forget about the rest.
 •You are expert enough
 •Strive for excellence, not for perfection

#14 Fix it, or deal with it, but stop whining about it

Nobody likes a person who complains all the time. If you look around you, you’ll see many people who have been dealt a bad hand, but are making the best of things.
 •Don’t blame others for your problems
 •Don’t make excuses
 •Don’t be overly sensitive
 •Don’t be a drama queen

#15 Remember things that you are grateful for

Try this exercise: whenever you are feeling low, make a list of all the things that make you happy, joyous, and grateful. A beautiful family, adoring kids, kind friends, health, happy home, a job that pays the bills, surprise dinner prepared by a loving spouse, a blog, favourite books and keepsakes, unexpected twenty dollar bill in your jeans pocket. Everything counts.

After you’ve done this, consider what has happened to the feelings of doom and gloom: it is impossible not to be cheered up after remembering all the fantastic things you have in your life. Be grateful, and always make room for more happiness.

#16 You can have it all, just not at the same time

There is no greater truth than this: you cannot have everything at the same time. You have only 24 hours in a day and need to take care of your relationships, work and spirit. One any given day, the focus will shift: some days your children have to go to after-school care because you have an important meeting, while other times work has to take a back seat because of a sick child with a high fever. Sometimes you just need to chill with your girlfriends because it has been ages since you last took a break.

You don’t have to do everything all at once, and life doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple living is mindful living.

The Greatest Secret of Success

By Christopher Perruna

The greatest secret of success is: there is no secret!

Sorry to disappoint after that lead-in title but it’s the truth.

With that said, a positive mental attitude is the one simple trait that could be considered a secret that is shared among the world’s most successful people. After that, success is disguised as something called hard work.

“Anything in life worth having is worth working for!” – Andrew Carnegie

The problem with most people is that they are well on their way to success when an obstacle decides to block their path. Most people will attempt to jump this hurdle or blast through the challenging brick wall but when rejected, they decide to turn around, give up and walk away because the task is just too challenging.

Most people don’t have the burning desire and persistence to realize their dreams because they feel it’s easier to just be average and carry on like 98-99% of the rest of the world.

“Before success comes in any man’s life, he’s sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit.

That’s exactly what the majority of men do”. – Napoleon Hill

I recently posted the above quote to a friend on facebook and asked him: “So what will you do?” He was faced with some unfortunate failure in life and was feeling down but it appears that he’s getting up and will treat the failure as a temporary defeat. That’s admirable because everyone fails in life, a countless number of times, but it’s the people that continue to move forward with a definiteness of purpose that will achieve their dreams.
The following poem illustrates that no more effort is required to aim high in life than is required to accept misery and poverty. It takes less work to succeed than to fail so do what you are afraid to do:

My Wage by Jessie B. Rittenhouse:

I bargained with life for a penny
And life would pay no more
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store
For life is just an employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.

A definite purpose backed by a burning desire is the first step towards achieving success. However, a definite PLAN, carried out in CONTINUOUS ACTION is required in order to get your dreams going. Thoughts and ideas are great but if they are NOT acted upon, they die inside your mind. Action is required to realize your dreams and NO one becomes successful without action (a lot of new age self-help guru’s and books focus on thoughts and desires but action is the key).

Close your mind to all negative and discouraging influences, especially negative family and friends. Lastly, your dreams will be accelerated by forming an alliance with one or more persons who will encourage you to follow through with your plan and purpose. Napoleon Hill called this The Master Mind which he defined as: “Coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose”.

I said that a positive mental attitude could be considered a possible secret to success, well, action would be the other because decisions without action are worthless!

I am architect, now working as a Owner’s Representative, writing a successful blog about the stock market, tweeting to thousands of followers, getting published in multiple books, have been interviewed on the radio and speaking at Expos in front of large audiences.

Who would have ever thought? What’s next? Book writer, real estate developer, web entrepreneur, educator, motivational speaker…?Who knows but I can tell you one thing, if I think it, I’ll do it because I dream every day and I do what I am afraid to do and my life is consistently more successful.

“Some dream and never do. Others do and never dream. But then there are those very few who dream, and do what they dream”

25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself

by Henrik Edberg

Feeling less than motivated all too often? I do. Well, perhaps not too often. But sometimes I just feel really lazy and unmotivated.

Want some practical solutions to that universal motivation-problem? Here are 25 of them. Try a handful.

Let me know which ones work well for you.

I’m sure you’ll find at least one or two that do just that among these suggestions.

1. Make a deal with yourself. Good for overcoming procrastination and getting things done. You can make the deal small or large. You simple tell yourself something like: When I’m done with this chapter/these reports I can take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream.

2. Act like it. If you don’t feel motivated or enthusiastic then act like it. The strange thing is that within a few minutes you actually start to feel motivated or enthusiastic for real.

3. Ask uplifting questions in the morning. Here’s what you do; every morning ask yourself five empowering three-part questions this way:

What am I ______ about in my life right now?
What about it makes me _______?
How does it make me feel?

Put in your own value in the blank space. For instance, a couple of my questions are:

What am I happy about in my life right now?
What am I excited about in my life right now?

It’s important that you really feel how it makes you feel. When I think about the last part about what makes me happy right now I really feel it. These morning questions are great because the way they are set up makes you recognize things you take for granted and then they really get you to feel those positive feelings.

4. Move the goalposts. Set a large and specific goal. This will motivate you much more than small goals. A big goal has a big effect and can create a lot of motivation.

5. Do something small and create a flow. Just clean your desk. Or pay your bills. Or wash the dishes. You just need to get started. When you have finished that small task you’ll feel more alert and ready to go do the next thing. You just to get started to get motivated. So if you really don’t feel like doing anything, start with something small and work your way out up.

6. Do the toughest task first. This will ease a lot of your day-to-day worries and boost your self-confidence for the rest of the day. Read more about doing the hardest task bright and early right here.

7. Start slow. Instead of jumping into something at full speed start slow. When you do that your mind will not visualize the task as something hard that you have to do fast, fast, fast. If your mind sees such things guess what often happens? Yep, you don’t get started. Actually getting started, even if it’s at a slow pace, is a whole lot better than not getting started at all.

8. Compare yourself with yourself. Not with others. Comparing what you have and your results to what other people have and have accomplished can really kill your motivation. There are always people ahead of you. Most likely quite a bit of people. And a few of them are miles ahead. So focus on you. On your results. And how you can and have improved them.

Reviewing your results is important so you see where you have gone wrong in the past to avoid similar missteps further on. But it’s also important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a review.

9. Remember your successes. And let them flow through your mind instead of your failures. Write down your successes. Consider using a journal of some kind since it’s easy to forget your successes.

10. Act like your heroes. Read about them, watch them, listen to them. Discover what they did that was special and what made them tick. But remember that they are people just like us. So let them inspire you instead of looking up at them admiringly.

11. Remember to have fun. Or create fun in a task. Then you’ll stay motivated to do and finish it.

12. Get out of your comfort zone. Face your challenges to get a real boost of motivation. If you are holding yourself back have a look at 5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear and the methods in this article. They can help you get started and take that first scary step outside your comfort zone.

13. Don’t fear failure. Instead redefine it as feedback and as a natural part of a successful life. As Michael Jordan said:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Also, try to find the valuable lesson(s) in each of your failures. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this?

14. Do some research on what you are about to do. Then your expectations will be more grounded in reality and you can also get good hints on what difficulties that you might run into along the way. Managing your expectations can lower the often almost explosive initial enthusiasm. But it can also lessen the lack of motivation that usually follows when most of that enthusiasm has dissipated.

When you know what has happened to others in similar situations – what path they have walked – you can adapt and try their solutions (and personal variations of those) and your own. This makes the worries and challenges easier to handle. Both emotionally – since you know at least some of the things that will happen and that others have lived through it before – and practically.

15. Figure out why you´re doing something. If you don’t know or don’t have good enough reason to do something then it will be hard to get it done. Do things that you have really strong reasons to do. If you want to do something then figure out a good reason to do it. If you can’t find one consider dropping it and doing something that you have a good reason to do instead.

16. Write down your goals and reasons for working towards them. Tape them on your wall, computer or bathroom mirror. Then you’ll be reminded throughout the day and it becomes easier to stay on track and stay focused.

17. Take The Positivity Challenge! Learn to think more positively most of the time. Learn to let to go of negative threads of thought before they have a chance to take hold of you. You might not be able to be positive all the time no matter what happens. But I think most of us can improve on our positive thinking and the results it can lead us to. Perhaps more than you realize right now.

18. Cut down on TV. Do you watch it too much? Watch less of what they are doing in TV-land and do more of what you want to do in life.

19. Break it down. Break down your task or project into small steps. And just start with focusing on that first small step. When you are done move on to the next and just focus on that one. The small successes will keep your motivation up and keeping your focus away from the big picture stops you from becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you follow this simple method.

20. Reprogram your information intake. Program out negative and cynical thoughts from the media and society. Reduce your information intake. Then program in positive news and entertainment, more of your own thoughts and useful information such as personal growth tapes and books. Be selective and keep it positive.

21. Make use of your creativity. Take out a piece of paper. Write at the top of the page what area in your life you would like to have more ideas about. Perhaps you want ideas to earn more money or become a healthier person. Then brainstorm until you have written down 20 ideas on that topic. Then try for 10 more. Not all ideas will be good. But some will. And as you make use of your creativity you not only discover useful ideas. You also discover just how creative you can be if you try and how motivating and great that feels. Have a look at 8 Ways to Spark Your Creativity for more ideas on this topic.

 22. Find out what makes you happy. Then do that. As much as you want or can.

23. Listen while you’re on the move. Build your own small library of motivational/personal development tapes. Listen to them while you are driving, riding the bus or your bike, while you are out running or walking. Take a peek at my recommended personal development products if you are looking for a good place to start.

24. Think outside your box. Don’t imagine the future from the box of what you have now. Just because your mind is in box of previous experiences doesn’t mean that´s the limits of the world. Your possibilities are much larger. Create the future from the now and from nothing rather than your past to experience bigger changes with fewer limitations than you would if you created it from what you can see from your box.

25. Make each day count. We don’t have all the time in the world. So focus on today and do the things you really want to do.

10 Ways to Make Life Good Again

Marc and Angel Hack Life Blog

Surely you remember the good old days – those fun-loving pastimes when the whole world seemed a bit brighter. Let’s travel back in time. Shall we?
Here’s how to get back to good…

1. Accept reality so you can change it.

To move forward in life you must first accept the reality of what it is. This acceptance provides you with an important starting point from which you can move in any direction you choose. To deny this reality or to fight against the past will merely waste your time and energy. To wish that things were different, or to pretend that they are, gets you nowhere.
Instead, visualize the possibilities and the path forward with a calm, collected mind. Then determine the next logical step that will take you in the direction of your vision and step forward. Read The Road Less Traveled.

2. Tap into the abundant resources around you.

When you adopt an attitude that life owes you something you set yourself up for frustration and unhappiness. Realize instead that life has already provided you with a world filled with abundance, and that creating meaningful value out of this abundance is up to you.
No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your socioeconomic status is, a life of fulfillment requires commitment and effort from you. It is through positive, productive choices that you line up life’s abundance in ways that uniquely express your personal dreams and values.

3. Guard your dreams and go after them.

You need space to try things and create things. It takes a long time to recalibrate if you let people pull at you all the time. A lot of stress comes from reacting to stuff. You have to keep a certain guard up against these negative influences.
Build an emotional barrier and allow yourself to dream and explore the passions that speak to the essence of who you are. Then let those dreams and passions pull you steadily through the practical, hands-on work of bringing them to life. Work through each day with diligence and persistence, doing what’s required. And as you do, stay close to the dreamer that always lives within you.

4. Loosen your grip.

Sometimes you can hold so tightly to what you know that you deny yourself the opportunity to learn and experience great new things. And in the back of your mind you know this and it bothers you. You become so worried about losing comfort that you cease to be comfortable.
When you’re willing to let go a little, you can actually discover and enjoy a lot more. Because when your energy is not consumed by possessiveness and fear, you have more energy available to experience life.
Instead of striving to hold tightly to everything, let it come, let it go, and let the next moment bring its own unique wonder. Read The Untethered Soul.

5. Think about the possibilities.

Each new day greets you with no rules except the ones you place on it. So greet it with open arms and positive thoughts. Let the possibilities inspire you and keep you going. Others may call you an idealist or naive or some other belittling title, ignore them.
Life is not about what you could do, it’s about what you will do. Write this down: “My life has unlimited possibilities.” Choose to find these possibilities in everything that comes your way, and no problem will ever be able to conquer you.

6. Replace “I can’t” with “I can.”

The power of the phrase “I can’t” is frightening. It makes strong people weak, happy people sad, blinds those who can see, turns the brave into cowards, robs the brilliance of every genius, causes the rich to think poorly, and limits the potential of that highly capable brain inside your head.
Replace “I can’t” with “I can” and then try again. When you experience a negative circumstance in your life, do not dwell on it. Be proactive – direct your attention to the possible action steps that will bring you to a positive result.

7. Help others feel better about themselves.

There’s nothing more rewarding than helping someone realize their own self-worth. Your life will not likely be measured by a single great achievement; it will be measured by thousands of small ones that all compound on top of one another. Each time you perform an act of kindness or bring a smile to someone’s face it gives your life more meaning.
So act like what you do makes a difference – it does.

8. Save some love and respect for yourself.

You can be the most beautiful person on the inside and out in the whole wide world, and everybody who sees you is awestruck, but if you yourself don’t see and feel it, none of it matters.
Every moment you spend doubting your self-worth – every moment you spend negatively judging yourself – is a tragic moment, for it is a moment of your life that you chose to throw away. Don’t do this. You only have so many moments.
The love you seek is seeking you at this very moment, you just have to open up to it.

9. Purge unnecessary headaches.

As Albert Einstein once said, “Excessive possessions, seeking outward success, extreme publicity, luxuries – to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best for both the body and the mind.”
In other words, in thinking, be down to earth. In necessitates, keep to the essential. In conflicts, be fair. In leading others, guide instead of controlling. In work, tap into your passion. In relationships, be completely genuine and present. Keep it all straightforward and simple. Read The Power of Less.

10. Indulge in life’s priceless little pleasures.

The foundation of a good life is all around you. Experience the joy in life’s universal elements…
To find the fresh air and a light breeze exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening stroll; to be thrilled by the sun’s warmth and the flickering stars at night; to be elated over the sound of a rain shower or a wildflower in the Springtime. Etc.
These are some of the greatest rewards of a truly good life.
Photo by: Jason Eppink

Great Quotes...To Adopt And To Live By !!!

"You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?" W Clement Stone

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort

“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” ― Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

"Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance."

“It doesn't matter what you did or where you were...it matters where you are and what you're doing. Get out there! Sing the song in your heart and NEVER let anyone shut you up!!”

For more great quotes please "like" us and "share" with friends on one of our Facebook pages www.positivemessagesuniverse.com

Does Persistence Really Pay?

Does Persistence Really Pay?
By Kaitlin Madden, AOL Jobs Contributor
 Posted Nov 13th 2010 @ 5:30AM
Updated: Jan 7th 2011 @ 2:26PM

While we can all recite quotes about how persistence is the key to success --"If at first you don't succeed ...", "Nothing good comes easy" -- they're easier said than acted upon when we feel instead like we're "banging our head against a wall" or "beating a dead horse."

The fact is many workers and job seekers struggle with persistence nowadays. It can be hard to keep going when your job search proves fruitless after months of hard work, you still haven't gotten that promotion you were hoping for or it seems like your "big break" is always just out of arms' reach. With so much time and energy put it our efforts to persist, doing so to no avail can cause us to wonder if our persistence will ever pay off.

According to Caroline Ceniza-Levine, co-founder of SixFigureStart, persistence does pay off, so long as we remember one thing about our path to achieving our goals: There is a difference between smart persistence and blind persistence.

"Persistence to a goal pays off as long as you can be flexible on how you get there," Ceniza-Levine says. "If your job search isn't yielding offers, then whatever you are doing is not working. You may have the right role and companies in mind but your marketing, your interview technique, your networking approach, or something else about how you are presenting yourself to these prospects is off. Or the prospects themselves may be wrong for you."

With that in mind, here are a few strategies for successful, smart persistence.

Pursue your goal from all angles

According to Tyler Tervooren, author of the blog "Advanced Riskology," persistence works best when there's a method to your madness.

"Persistence does pay, but only if it's persistence with a real strategy" he says. "If, in the worst economy of our time, your strategy is to send out a résumé and say 'Here, hire me please,' you're never going to get anywhere no matter how many times you do that. On the other hand, if your goal is to make enough money to support yourself and you're willing to try a bunch of different things like submitting an online résumé or portfolio, going to networking events, meeting influential people in different industries or even starting your own business, then yes, persistence pays off," he says.

To elaborate on Tervooren's example: As a job seeker your overall goal may be to find a well-paying job in your industry. You decide that you will send out 10 résumés per week until you get a job -- but after months of searching, you have yet to land a position. While your ultimate goal may be a realistic one that's well within your reach, your way of going about getting the job is unrealistic.

Instead of just sending out résumés:
 • Seek out new networking opportunities by joining a professional organization or volunteering in your community AND
• Engage the companies you'd like to work for on Twitter and LinkedIn AND
• Take a class online or at a local community college to freshen up your skill set and enhance your résumé AND
• Consult a professional résumé writer to make sure you résumé is fine-tuned and captivating

"You need be willing to try any crazy idea you get to make [your goal] happen; give up on the tactics that aren't working and pour more into the ones that look more promising. Do that over and over again and you'll get what you want," Tervooren says.

Take off your blinders

While it's important to have goals, it's also important to make sure you don't get so set on one particular path that you miss out on other opportunities that may prove equally rewarding.

"You cannot get so stuck or focused on that one goal that you forget to see other opportunities that might be even better than your original goal," says Jason O'Neill, teen entrepreneur and author of 'Bitten By the Business Bug.' "While goals are good in theory, if someone doesn't reach their goal, they often feel like they failed. However, if they take off their blinders, keep their eyes open, they just may see some other direction they never even thought of."

Accept that waiting is part of the process

It's important to remember that your goals won't happen overnight, and that you need to maintain a positive attitude in order to persist successfully. Believing that your goals will happen in your ideal time-frame will only lead to discouragement, so be willing to wait for your reward.

"The ability to delay gratification is vital," says Dr. Sylvia Gearing, a clinical psychologist in Dallas and owner of Gearing Up Counseling Centers. "Sacrificing short-term pleasure for a long-term goal is key here. Success has everything to do with tenacity. The world is full of intelligent, talented people who never achieved anything -- simply because they gave up."

Essentially, while persistence is necessary in achieving any goal, blind persistence isn't. Pouring your time and energy into a method of achieving you goal, when that method isn't working, is a waste of time. Trying every avenue you can think of in order to achieve a goal, on the other hand, is when persistence really does pay.

“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined
by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come
out of all your hard work isn't what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You...Be Free...Share.”

8 Moves to Make When You Want to Give Up

8 Moves to Make When You Want to Give Up
Posted by Editor in Chief, Pick The Brain


Taking the easy road is nice for a while, but for talented, motivated people it isn’t enough. To find satisfaction you’ll need to set ambitious goals, solve challenging problems, and develop strengths you may not know you have.

Although the hard road is more fulfilling, it isn’t all champagne and victory laps. There will be times when you feel beaten and depressed — times when quitting looks like the best option. There is no formula for dealing with hard times, but these 8 steps will help you understand your predicament and determine the best course of action.

1. Take a Break

One reason we get down ourselves is fatigue. When you’re tired everything is harder. Working your tail off for extended periods will wear you down if you aren’t careful. You’ll also get bored. Fatigue and boredom combine to cause burnout — one of the biggest reasons people quit. When faced with burnout, the best thing to do is take a break. Cut yourself off completely. Do absolutely nothing for a day or two. What’s the worst that could happen? By allowing yourself to recover you’ll be more productive in the long run.

2. Step Back

Sometimes we get so absorbed in our own sphere that we develop a distorted picture of reality. When you feel like giving up, there’s a good chance that a) things aren’t nearly as bad as they seem, and b) there’s a simple solution that you’re overlooking. When things seem bleak, distance yourself from the situation to gain an accurate perspective. What would someone without any emotional involvement do? Asking this question will help you make optimal decisions.

3. Do Your Research

The only constant in the universe is change, but when you’re plugging away with your head down it’s easy not to notice. People often make decisions based on outdated assumptions made months, or even years earlier. To develop a course of action, you’ll need to know where you stand. Stop to evaluate your position.
 ■What do you have?
 ■What do you want?
 ■How has the market adjusted?
 ■What opportunities still exist?
 ■What new opportunities have arisen?

By taking stock of the current situation, you’ll discover if your urge to quit is a passing whim or the correct decision.

4. Consult an Expert

When your knowledge base is insufficient you should seek an expert opinion. This doesn’t mean you have to make contact with a world class expert, anyone who knows more than you will be able to help. Think of friends, family, and business associates. Have any of them been in your position before? The web can also be a great resource, just be careful who you trust. Check out relevant forums or email a reputable blogger. I’m consistently impressed with the effort people expend to help total strangers.

5. Re-evaluate Your Strategy

Once you’re well informed, apply that knowledge to revamping your strategy. If you feel like giving up, you might be doing something wrong. This is the time to pour over your efforts and determine what works.
 ■What actions have lead to the greatest benefit?
 ■What mistakes have been made?
 ■What can be improved?

By answering these questions you’ll fine tune your strategy. The urge to give up is a blessing when it leads to analysis and constructive adjustments.

6. Change Course

Knowing what’s wrong and how you can fix it is a relief. Unlike an invisible monster hovering over you, an exposed problem can be directly assaulted. Once you’ve determined a change needs to be made, implement it full force. Don’t hesitate or dwell on past mistakes. Trust your own judgment and deal with new issues as they arise.

7. Push Through the Dip

In some cases you might feel like giving up even though you’re doing all the right things. This is called “the dip” — the plateau that separates the average from the best in the world. Knowing what to do when you hit the dip is so important, Seth Godin wrote a book on it. In you’ve hit the dip and you can honestly say that going forward is the best decision, lower your shoulder and plow ahead until you reach the other side. It might not be pleasant but the rewards are tremendous. If you make it.

8. Quit

We don’t have thoughts and emotions for nothing. Sometimes quitting is the best decision. Maybe you didn’t know what you were getting into. Maybe your priorities have changed. Maybe you’d be better doing something else. If you know deep down that quitting is the right move, do it. Don’t hesitate because of previously invested effort. That’s a sunk cost. If you ignore your better judgment and continue you’ll waste more time and energy.