Sunday, September 23, 2007

CHANGE IS GOOD......DON'T BE AFRAID

Fear of Change? How to Easily Overcome it and Increase Your Confidence

By Kunbi Korostensky


When facing a change, most people invariably feel insecure, lost and overwhelmed.
Still, do you agree with me that life without any form of changes would not only be monotonous but also inconceivable?
Afterall, one aspect of why we all love living is the excitement and anticipation of the unexpected in life!
Here is a thought for you. What do you say to yourself after having had a really bad day? If you're like the majority of people, you'll probably be happy it is over when you go to bed.
Maybe saying something like this to yourself: "Phew I'm darn glad, this day is over… wonder what tomorrow will bring!" Hoping for a change.
Do you see what I mean? Every single day brings certain form of changes into our lives. In fact these small changes, are crucial. For they offer new opportunity and create room for adjustments.
So why are many people afraid of facing changes, if these are there to help us?
In psychology there are a number of reasons that can render a person fearful of a change. But I am not about to launch into a psycho-debate on the dysfunctionality of the mind here.
What I want to do, is to show you how you can quickly and easily banish those fears and enjoy a sense of freedom and inner security.
Fact 1. : People who are passionate about growing are never afraid of a change. To them change is simply another way of taking charge and living fully.
Irrelevant of their positions in life, they know that it is of utmost importance to keep an open mind and be alert in spirit. For nothing in life ever stays the same.
Fact 2. You can't wish a change away. Your life would become more engaging and bountiful, when you can let go of your fear.
So without any further ado.
Build a strong relationship with your fear
When a new change comes your way, tell yourself, what it is that you're afraid of and look at the fear. You may even want to write it down. There's something magical about writing things down. Feel like you're confiding in someone else, even if it's only on paper. Once you face your fear, you'll find that it begins to lose its power over you. Instead of you becoming enslaved, you now have the upper hand.
Play the devil's advocate
One reason for our fear of change is often because we feel inadequate. We feel that we are incapable of handling a new situation. Should this be the case with you, simply see yourself in the worst case scenario.
Make yourself comfortable and allow your mind to re-live the various stages of what you fear at least twice. The third time around let the fear fade away like a smoke. See yourself emerging from it wholesome, peaceful and invincible. Feel the joy of being in charge and the triumph of knowing the fear is only a shadow.
Reclaim your inborn power
I know how frustrating it can be, if you're trying to move forward and find yourself being held back by fear. Once you've re-emerged feeling invincible, you want to use that momentum to turn things around.
To do this, ask yourself this question: "what simple action can I take here and now to start moving toward my new direction?". Wait for the answer to surface. Then do it without stalling. Should you get multiple ideas, just apply the one you feel comes easiest to you first. Moving later on to the other ideas after you've completed the previous ones.
Test the waters for lurking "gremlins"
To be certain that you're now embarking on a steady path to overcoming your fear of change, do the following. Subject yourself knowingly to your uncomfortable feelings about changes from time to time. This is to help you recognize the lurking fear i.e. the "gremlins".
Observe how you react: Do you immediately shut down or do you find yourself trying to be creative with the feelings? The more constructive you can deal with your uneasy feelings around change, the quicker you'll be able to move past your fear of change.
When in a dilemma, I firmly believe in asking for inner guidance. If you find yourself still struggling with fear, don't feel dejected, pray for help. It works wonder! Laugh a lot, be joyful and give yourself to others. A heart full of joy and trust has no room for fear.
Take the time to integrate these steps into your life. Before long, you'll find yourself getting more and more excited about new possibilities. The more you're able to connect with and activate your innate power, the less susceptible you'll be to fear of change.

Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Changer Coach TM is specialised in supporting people through various life changes. She helps them become more confident with their change and to use the change to bring more joy and happiness into their lives. Sign up for her monthly ezine at http://www.embracingchanges.com or mailto:kunbi@embracingchanges.com

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