CHANGE IS GOOD.....DON'T GO IT ALONE

5 Keys to Recognize Friendship

By Carla McNeil

What is a friend? I believe a friend gives advantage, not takes advantage.
A friend can be many things: a partner, because two people together, focused on the same goal/direction, are better than one; someone who helps you, not beats you when you are down; someone who is there in hard times to help you get through your challenging situations; someone who protects you.

A friend doesn't harp or gossip on things! Who wants to be reminded again and again of something one did wrong. We are all human, we all err. Friends assist us with the situation, assist us to grow and then move on. And then there is no gossiping about it to others!
In my journey of personal development the biggest challenge has been "friends". I never realized there could be so many different levels of friendship, I figured if you were my friend, then you were my friend in everything. I was wrong and learned many lessons the hard way.
A few years ago I took a 6 month contract away from my home base. While I was away I found out that two of my "best" friends had gotten together and had a bash-Carla fest. Then they both had to tell on each other to me!! I was devastated - that, however, was my most effective "training" event about friendship.

From that experience, I learned about different levels of friendship and that not everyone is going to be my best friend. The price for that lesson was pretty high. It cost me two friends, one that had been my friend for over 10 years. It was a huge part of my lesson on "Letting Go"!!

I have found there are 5 ways to recognize True Friendship.
1) Friends will comfort and support you when trouble or disaster shows up in your life
2) Friends are devoted to you, are loyal and willing to change their plans just for you.
3) Friends love you no matter the situation or what you have done. Through thick and thin they are still there. We have all done something "stupid" in our life but we do not want to be judged on that one action for the rest of our lives.
"A friend is a person who knows all about you, and still likes you." Elbert Hubbard
4) Friends will speak constructively - even when it hurts. We all know that we have behaviors, habits or actions that could use a little improvement. After all we are human beings and to "err is human". It is the true friend who will let you know about those challenges in a constructive way because they want what is best for you. Remember friends give advantage. If done in a constructive way without malice or cruel intent, it will provide us the opportunity to become better people and improve our own life.
5) Friends will help you. Have you ever asked for something and had everyone run away? People who you thought were your friends? Helping is giving advantage. I know when I help my friends that it will be returned in kind. Maybe not from the same friend I assisted but I know it will come from somewhere in my life.
Last week I had a friend tell me that something I had assisted them with months ago is currently having a positive impact in her life. She thanked me on a day where that positive feedback was just what I needed! I have found that it is always best to be the first to offer that assistance. No sitting around waiting for our friends to help us!! Who wants to have that kind of friend?

Remember all five of these keys apply both ways. Are you being all of these to your friends as well? We all need to evaluate our friendships; some that we may have thought were good friends could turn out to be acquaintances.
I used to think I had some real friends in my "job". Turns out in many cases I was wrong. When I answered these five questions about some of my friends I was surprised that they were not as close as I had originally thought.
The real deciding factor for me was "am I that kind of friend for them?" When I was honest with myself and answered "No" it was a very eye-opening experience. We must always remember what we expect from our friends they have the right to expect from us in return.

"A real friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out. Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you " Walter Winchell

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light." Winston Churchill's mother, Jennie.


Send me an email at Carla@RetireWithCarla.com - let me know what you liked best about this article. Is there a way that I can assist you in your personal development? It would be my pleasure to assist where I can!
Hear me live on the Terrific Tuesday Teleclass1-218-486-7200 Bridge 549706Every Tuesday at 5:30 Pacific
http://www.RetireWithCarla.com
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This article has been viewed 114 time(s).Article Submitted On: August 19, 2008
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