Negative Talk - The Sure Path to Self-Destruction
By Ian J Spencer
Compare these weeds with negative thoughts that every person experiences from time to time. You are caught in the traffic and you would be thinking, "My boss would kill me today", or you missed your deadline and you think, "This will earn me the pink slip", or you forget your spouses birthday and think, "I will never hear the end of this" and so on. This is common and it is okay. You tend to exaggerate a little when you are in trouble - but you know in your heart that this would not happen. The trouble starts when these thoughts take over and you are convinced that these exaggerations are true or can be even worse than you imagine.
Anxiety does not happen overnight unless you have experienced some major trauma. In most cases, anxiety literally grows on you fed by your negative thoughts and inner fears. It is like a little spark lighted inside when you think something negative; you continue thinking negative the spark would grow into a fire; you start thinking positive, the spark will die out.
So, if you are diagnosed as suffering from anxiety take a step back and identify all the negative thoughts that course through your mind. Make a list (you could carry a little notebook with you) of all these thoughts and at the end of the day write at least two positive versions for every one of the negative thoughts. Focus on the positive. Push your mind to look and hope for the best. Fight the negative thoughts with the opposing positive thoughts as soon and as strongly as you can.
Most people, who suffer from anxiety also feel hopeless, worthless, and followed by doom. It is like that cartoon where there is this little cloud only above your head, which rains on you incessantly. When you suffer from low esteem you tend to accept it when someone talks to you rudely, because you feel you deserve it.
The belief that that you are worthless and the fact that people treat you bad compound the negative thoughts and fire the anxiety symptoms.
Check your body language when you find people bullying you all the time. If you project an image which is timid, fearful, and unsure of yourself, people would tend to override and play with your feelings because that is what your body language tells them to do. You would have definitely seen people who displayed a magnetic and confident personality; they could breeze in the toughest of spots, get things done and move away almost effortlessly.
What do they have that you do not have? Confidence; belief that they can; a positive attitude.
Keep in mind that if you project the picture of a looser you would be treated like one. You need to practice looking confident (even if at times you do not seem so) and walk in with your head held high. Talk distinctly as if you have no doubt that your request would be addressed immediately. Think big, behave big and you would have the world at your feet. Remember the adage, "If you believe you can, you can."
That you need to weed out negative thoughts from your mind is definitely understood. Let us recapitulate the things you need to do so you could control the flow of these thought and the grip that would get on you.
Recognize The Symptoms Of Anxiety I have described in detail the symptoms that are associated with Anxiety disorder. Recognize these symptoms and beware that you are suffering from a disorder, which can be helped provided you adopt the right treatment. If you find that you are worrying excessively, berating yourself over everything that goes wrong, feeling like a victim - you are suffering from anxiety.
Think positive Whatever worries you has a positive side. I am not telling you that the death of a dear one can be changed into a positive thing - at least at the time - but most worries can be averted by thinking positively, i.e. not focusing only on the 'what if this would happen' part. In most cases the 'what if this would happen' never happens. So keep that in mind when you are plagued by worrisome thoughts. Do not indulge in these thoughts. I had a friend who found a very simple way to chase away worry - he started believing that when you think of a bad thing, it would happen; therefore, the moment the thought of a bad thing would enter his mind, he would immediately chase it away with good thoughts. Guess what - it worked. He is now free from anxiety and worry!
You Are Not At Fault - Even When You Are It looks like an oxymoron, but it is not. Let us say that a terrible accident happened because you forgot to press the right button in the factory. It is terrible, true. You are responsible, true. However, mistakes happen with humans, and you are human.
Take the responsibility, accept the penalty, atone for it in whichever way possible, learn from the mistake and move on. 'Move on' means you forgive yourself and forget about this incident - not the lesson. You stop carrying the guilt, you stop saying to yourself you are useless, hopeless, worthless. You start afresh. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. You need to stop putting yourself down and stand up for yourself if others do.
Stop Self-Pity In Its Tracks Self-pity is as bad as berating yourself. If you find yourself feeling like a victim, because everybody seems to take it out on you, stop. You are not a victim. You are not going to let yourself believe that you are the butt of everyone's oppressive behavior. Think positive. You can do whatever you want. You are a survivor. You are a person with self-dignity and strength to fight for yourself whenever you feel you are treated shabbily. Take action now; remedy the problem the same moment it occurs. You will find you feel better every day.
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